Thinking...

[rowan]

Rowanpaw walked out the camp. His mind was troubled with thoughts. He was now a ThunderClan apprentice. As he walked out of camp. He felt the fresh air. The cool, gentle breeze touched his face. He became sad. He remembered his mom. She was beautiful and he missed her. He sighed. He knew that he would neer see her agian. He knew that he would never see her gentle face. He contiued walking.

He walked for a long time. He looked up. There, in front of him, was his old home. He shivered. He thought of his family. He thought of how beautiful Torrentpaw would be. He thoguht of how stubborn and wise Brownpaw would be. He then thought of Winterpaw. She would be a wise and sensible Medicine Cat apprentce by now. He sighed. He missed them. he hadn't seen them for moons. He wanted to know how they were getting along in Clan life. How they were coping at knowing that their father was a rogue and their mother was dead. He knew that he wasn't. he had renounced his father but still couldn't stop thinking of how much he felt guilty. And, what surprised him the most, ws that he still felt something for his father. It was a small feeling but it was something. It was love. He felt mostly hate but a small part of his heart still told him that he loved his father. he figured that that was standard. That most cats felt that no matter what. But, it still felt likee something more. Like something was pulling at his heart. He sat down next to his mother's grave.

"Mother, what can I do?" he asked. "I seem to have lost eerything that is dear to me." He sighed. "Mother, why did you have to leave? Why did you leave us? I wish you could still be here. And..." He was now sobbing. "I wish that we could all be together." He thought about playing with his brother and sisters. He missed them. "Mother, I love you."

He lay next to her grave for what seemed hours. He was depressed. Not even Sprinklepaw, the she-cat that filled his heart with joy, could make him feel happy. h sat there, sand and depressed.

((Please do not post here unless you are invited. This is a special spread. I planned this.))

[Winterwind]

Winterpaw walked down the lane. Her life was simple, learning herbs, what they do, where to find them and mixing them. She looked at the Bradford's house and felt a need to go there. She went to her mother's grave, and saw Rowan there and stopped short. A wind blew across her face, carring the scent of fall and her brother with it. "Rowan..." Winterpaw said softly.

[rowan]

Rowan looked at her. His eyes were slightly red from crying. 'Windterpaw..." he looked at her. "Is it really you?" She looked different. More beautiful. She looked like Smoke.

[Winterwind]

"Yes, it's me." Winterpaw said looking at him. He looked like their father, and it brought tears to her eyes. She wouldn't tell him what had happened, not yet."Its been a while. Rowan, are you alright?" She stepped foreward.

[rowan]

Rowan nodded. "Yes, it has hasn't it." he smiled at her. "I am fine. Don't worry. I just came to visit... mother."

[Winterwind]

"Me to." Winterpaw said and went up to their mother's grave. There were flowers on it, recently put there by the two-legs."I didn't know her well, but she must have been nice for so many to come and honor her memory." She said sadly.

[rowan]

Rowan nodded. "Yes," he said. "She must have been." he looked at her. "Winterpaw, do you ever regret leaving the two-legs?" he asked. "Do you regret leaving this happy and peaceful place?"

[brownie]

((Hey bro and sis!))

Brownpaw limped after Winterpaw. She was determined to visit her Mother's grave and sit vigil, as she had recently learnt was Clan custom. Unlike the others, Brownpaw had no memory of her Mother, for she was cut out of the dead cat when they realised that Smoke had not had all her Kits.

Brownpaw vividly remembered her limp as a sharp jolt of pain ran up her leg, forcing her to stop before continuing on, slowing up her journey to the grave. Cursing Windstorm, the silver RiverClan Queen, who had comitted the crime of trying to kill the Apprentice, with every bad word she knew.

Looking up, she spotted her brother and closest sister in age. The tabby and white ThunderClan Apprentice looked stronger and braver than ever, but there was look of loss on his face. Pepper was there, the familiar Medicine Cat Apprentice who Brownpaw did not often see, even in their own Clan. She wondered where Torrentpaw was. Smiling slightly, she remembered their Kittypet names.

"Hello Rowan, Pepper, where's Storm?" She mewed brightly. "Ignore that, I'm talking nonsense, I guess you came to visit M-. . .Mother."

[rowan]

((Hey! We never see each other. I thought that we needed some family time! ))


Rowan looked at her. He had no smile on his face. He was very glad to see his sister but still could not smile. All happiness had left him. "Hello, Brownie." he said. He of course remebred her name. He got up. His eyes were still red from crying. He gave her a lick.

[Winterwind]

Winterpaw looked at Rowan for a moment. "I don't regret leaving as much as bringing our two-legs pain. They were good to us and didn't take us to the cutter." She looked at their mother's grave. "They loved mother and miss her as much as us." Winterpaw looked at Brownpaw."Hey sis, how's your leg? I'm sure I could do something to make it less painful..."

[rowan]

Rowan smiled at his sisters. Knowing Brownie and Winterpaw, this would turn out to be an argument. He smiled. "Good," he said.

[brownie]

"Hey Rowan, how're things in ThunderClan?" Brownpaw returned the lick, grateful that he remembered her old name. Brownpaw's eye betrayed how much she missed her brother and sister, who she never saw, Winterpaw was in her Clan though. "It's alright, Winterpaw, nothing serious, that Windsto- I mean cat better watch out, I'll give her the sprain next time!"

[rowan]

Rowanpaw smiled. "Fine.. just fine." he said. His eyes betrayed a look of love. He was thinking of Sprinklepaw. A very pretty she-cat that had his heart wrapped around her. He sighed. his eys looked dreamily. He forgot that his sisters were there.

[brownie]

"So what's going on between you and Sprinklepaw?" Brownpaw mewed cheekily. On seeing his surprised expression, Brownpaw mewed, "Oh come on, I'm aloud to watch my brother aren't I? You and Sprinklepaw are so wrapped up in each other! It's great to know that my brother has found Young Love!" Brownpaw herself could hardly talk. She had taken an instant liking to both Hawkpaw and Silverpaw, but Hawkpaw seemed to be taken by Pheonixpaw, so it had been fully focused on Silverpaw.

[rowan]

Rownapaw laughed. "Well, I guess you could say that i'm in love." he said. "Altho, I am not sure. I don't know how it suppose to feel. I Mean, I feel different when I am with Sprinklepaw. It want to impress her." He sighed. "Well, what about you?" he gave her an evil grin. "Do you have an girls for friends? Or... did you find a tom you like? You know, I am may be in a different Clan but I have to approve of the lucky tom." he laughed. He was finally smiling. It was something he was not used to. His siters always brought smiles to his face.

[brownie]

"Thank StarClan, my brother's finally learnt something!" Brownpaw laughed. Her ears pricked at his question and her eyes fixed on the evil grin. That was her evil grin! "Maybe, and stop copying my grin!"

[rowan]

Rowan laughed. He pushed her over like they used to play when they were kits. he figured thatWinterpw wouldn't play. She seemed so grown up. She growled like his father then stopped. He felt him self shiver. He looked at Brownpaw. "Do.. do you ever regret having Darkfur as our father?" he asked.

[brownie]

Brownpaw laughed and pushed her brother off her, she was still much smaller than him, but had the strength of a bear. On hearing his question, she looked away and visibly drooped. "I regret it every day. How do you think it feels to look exactly like him? My white paw has darkened as I grow older and tabby markings are appearing, when I grow up I'll look exactly like him, though smaller. Every cat stares at me and seems to distrust me when they first meet me, and Silverstar is still looking for a Mentor! Only a few of the Apprentices understand me, mainly Silverpaw!"

Brownpaw looked up at Rowanpaw, her eyes flashing with passionate rage. "You see this?" Brownpaw indicated her limp, "The cat who gave me this atacked me because of my heritage! The she-cat covered it up with other lies but I could see the truth! That RiverClan she-cat, Windstorm, sprained my leg, tore at my ear and nearly killed me!"

Startling herself, Brownpaw realised she had named the cat who had hurt her. Brownpoaw had sworn not to tell, for she knew that Windstorm had a loving family, and Brownpaw was waiting to announce it at the Gathering.

[rowan]

Rowanpaw looked stunned. He, too, had the resemblence of their father. But, not as much as Brownpaw. His smiled left. "I know," he said. "Brownstar, when she was deputy, didn't like me at all." he shivered. "But, now she has been kind. I think it has to do with her friend Greymist." He walked up to her. He had heard of Windstorm, only, not well.
"What did Windstorm do to you?" he asked seriously. "its not your fault abut our history!" his vioce started to rise. He was angered. he loved his sister so much and felt contmpt for every cat that did something bad to her. He quickly quitetened. This was a nice time. "What was this I here of Silverpaw?" he asked. He was trying to puch the subject away. "haven't you gotten any she-cat friends?" He gave her a quick laugh. He thought of Sprinklepaw.

[brownie]

"Rosepaw's a sulk and Pheonixpaw is greedy and jealous," Brownpaw meowed moodily. Talking about the other she-Apprentices who both had Mentors upset her.

[rowan]

Rowan nodded. "Oh," he said. "So... there aren't anymore she-cats?" he asked suprisingly. ThunderClan had many. "I have a friend." he said. 'Copperkit." He laughed. "Copperkit is a very funny and active friend. He will be an apprentice soon."

((Not that they are active.))

[brownie]

"Not as friendly as Sprinklepaw, I bet," Brownpaw joked. She flicked her brown ears and raised her darkening paw. It used to be snow white, but was now darkening and growing tabby markings.

[rowan]

Rowan didn't laugh at this comment. "He is just as kind and fun as Sprinklepaw." he said. He wasn't sure if that was the riht hing to say. He looked at her. She was begginning to look like their father. He shook as he remebered the conversation. It hurt him to have to admit that he was the son of Darkfur. He smiled so not to worry her.

[brownie]

Brownpaw c o c k e d her head and smiled at her brother. She had missed him lots and wished he was less serious.

[rowan]

Rowan sighed. He sat down again. "Brownpaw." he said. "I have to be hooest with you. You are my sister. I xan't tell Torrentpaw bacause I can't bare to worry her and I can't tell Winterpaw because she will tell me the very serious thing. She might not give me much of an option." He sighed and breathed in again. "Brownpaw, tell me honestly, do you fell like you fit into your Clan? Do you feel like you were Clan born? Or, is there something tugging at you? Is there something constantly reminding you that you aren't WindClan?"

[brownie]

Brownpaw stared into Rowanpaw's eyes. Avoiding the question, she mewed, "Why? Do you?" Rowanpaw had always been the serious one, but never had he been solem.

[rowan]

He gave her a frustated look. He was asking her. "Yes." he admitted. "I do."

[brownie]

Brownpaw had mixed feelings toward Rowanpaw's answer. On the one paw, she was happy that he felt he fitted in with his Clan. Well done to him. On the other, she was sad that out of the eldest and the youngest of the litter, she felt that she did not fit in.

"Well then you're very lucky. I know Darkfur was born there, and I love it, but WindClan could never be my home. I have friends there, but what I really want is to just feel like I fit in. I could never go back to being a Kittypet, and I'd rather die than become a Rouge or Loner.There are four of us and four Clans, I cannot help but feel that I should be in ShadowClan. But when that comes up I dismiss it and think of Silverpaw and everyone else."

[rowan]

He nodded to her respnse. "ShadowClan." he said lightly to himself. He had never thought of that. But, he too, could not leave. He had Spricklepaw and his little friend Copperkit. He had to take care of Sprickle and Copper. They were his friends. How he longed he was in brownpaw's clan. He wanted her to be with him in his troulbed times.

[Winterwind]

(Hey don't forget me!)

Winterpaw sat away from them. She felt forgotten and alone, but she didn't want to innterupt. She stood up and began to walk away, deep in thought about something.