Please For[♥]give Me//Privite//

[Badgersoul]

xx.Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.xx

It was midnight, the moonlight leaked onto the multicolored leaves that coverd the ground like a quilt of different colors. Strangly there was not a star in the sky, only a beautiful moon. The beautiful night was so calm and peaceful that you could hear the leaves drop from the baring trees. Crickets sang there sad songs softer then the wind could blow. It was a perfect evening, for most.

Firepaw's dull amber eyes were even duller then they ever were. His heart was heavy with sorrow and pain, he loved his brother so much- yet why did he still likehis mate to be. He didn't know why. Firepaw knew that he could never have her as his own now that she was out of his reach, yet he at least wanted her to know he was sorry. Firepaw didn't know why he was walking. He knew he should have been alseep, but what was the point of sleepign when all you drempt about was you brother's girlfriend. Firepaw sighed a shaky sigh as he slowly sat down in the clearing and stared into the black waters of the calmy flowing river.

The river was dark as if the water was made from shadows. A single leaf dropped intothe pool causing small ripples in the water. Firepaw stared at the ripples as he thought what he would say when he saw her again, the truth was. He knew exactly what he would say. He has knowen ever since his heart first beat for her- he said it again and again and told himself one day he would say it to her. "The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other tom, it is said, have seen godessess from Starclan, but I have seen thee and you are more beautiful then any godess will ever be" It felt good to say it finialy, but would he ever be able to say it to her? Firepaw wanted to, yet his stuborness never would let him and now she had someone else to love..his brother

[Meerful]

Love is the irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.

Silver tipped fur, moon dappled pelt, sweet innocent eyes, so young, so naiive, yet so hurt. The sight of such eyes filled with such anguish, almost seemed like those eyes should be spilling over in a pool of sorrow at the feet of one's paws. Such beauty should not be overwhelmed with the pain of a more elder, with more wisdom, more experience. Each elegant step had just a hint of a falter, each smooth breath had a jagged sound that was barely audible, each movement with a touch of sheer depression and sorrow. Everything about this creature said 'dead inside--keeping up the facade until some justice comes and life will be snatched away from me such as love was'. On the outside, the heart break was noticeable to an extent, on the inside, the intensity of it was enough to knock the breath out of a beast, and bring it to it's knees and beg for the pain to stop. For one small being to endure so much misery without a reaction as such, is an amazing feat. A feat that can hardly be overcome.

Why am I even out here? It will only make it this much harder to bear. I don't want to be out here do I? Why should I want to be? I mean, it's not like Firepaw will ever feel the same for me again... Not that he did anyways. I should have known he was just a lying chauvinist. Honestly, look at the masochist he's made me become! How could I dare let myself believe he ever felt the same? What a foolish behavior. This is all my fault. I should have never even crossed paths with such a monster. Starclan hath betrayed me. Soundless thoughts echoed off the trees, through the hazy moonlight, and up into the skies, forever to be heard by the spirits above. The petite paws began winding their way up a sandy slope, basked in a glittery glow. A traitor thought passed through her mind. You only want to go there because that waswhere you first met Firepaw, and from that very second you were infatuated by him, and then you fell in love with him. Don't even bother trying to think it's because this was where you and Earthpaw shareda delicate moment. You can't keep secrets from yourself. A small defeated sigh escaped the tiny cat as she continuedto move forward, oblivious that there was another closer to her than she could have imagined.

[Badgersoul]

Firepaw closed his eyes and alowed the aroma of the beautiful leafall night fill his sences. Suddenly, Firepaw sences caught a different smell. He wasn't alone. Firepaw turned his head towerds the stranger, his heart pounding exsitedly. He knew the sent by heart, it was the heart of his once beloved. THe one cat that he wantedto see, it was Featherpaw.

Firepaw dull amber eyes stared lovingly at the beautiful she-cat. Her beautiful silver fur reminded Firepaw of the moon. The moon itself seemed to shine down apone the silver she-cat, how beautifulshe was, how lovley, how inresistable. Firepaw got to his paws and aloud his tail to flick back and forth. Know that she was in his presents, he didn't know what to say. Nor how to say it. Usually Firepaw was great in these situations, yet everytime he talked to Featherpaw, he would seem to say the wronge thing.

This fear of sayying to wrong thing has gotten to a point where it was hard to talk to Featherpaw. Firepaw took a deep breath in before taking a step towerds the she-cat, who seemed to be having her own thoughts of sorrow, she is probibly thinking about Earthpaw, thought Firepaw as he rememberd the tabby tom falling into the gorge. Luckily Firepaw had jumped in and help Earthpaw, with the help of Angelfur, get to shore. Firepaw took a deep breath in, in breath was shaky from keeping tears back, before talking. "Featherpaw..."

[Meerful]

If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.

A sweet cool autumn breeze rustled the coloured leaves that dislodged themselves from the branches, and fell to the ground with a satisfying crisp. Sometimes the leaves drifted slowly and fell into the river, brushed underwater by the under current, and never seen again. Dandelion puffs floated lazily on the calm wind that blew between the grass, the fronds of ferns, and the tough reeds that embellished the outer premises of the river. Little croaking noises could be heard as frogs leaped out when they thought the coast was clear, and landed in the water with a plop. The moonlight that shimmered down seemed to awaken the night into a gorgeous package of surreal and painfully beautiful scenery that made mother nature take a hit on her self esteem, jealous of her own creations. Two tiny silver paws with lavender hints stretched out gracefully, and a glowing back arched itself up into a gorgeous curve, before resting again. The she cat's feather like fur seemed to blow in the wind, like wispy clouds, or even the soft weeds that was piled underneath her into a warm place to sleep. The shimmering sand around was icy cold to the touch, but warmed quickly, providing an almost too perfect place to shelter, fully protected by towering pine trees, but still open enough to look absolutely perfect.

Featherpaw's body began to relax, not even bothering to glance at her surroundings, not caring if a hawk swooped down from the sky, lucky enough to see her, and snatch her up in it's large golden talons. She didn't care if a fox, maddened by hunger stalked it's way over to her, and rip her apart limb from limb. She didn't care if she froze to death... In fact, death seemed like something much much happier than life. Anything other than living would be fine with her. Everytime she closed her eyes she saw the image of Firepaw running away from he,r or the sight of Earthpaw half dead, or the twinkle in Firepaw's eyes when he had said he loved her the first time... Her heart beat sped up momentarily, but slowed down as the sadness leaked in and overwhelmed her. She felt like she was on the verge of hyperventilating, when a voice made her ear twitch. Featherpaw... The voice that spoke just one small word sent her heart back into a craze, fluttering like a hummingbird's wings, and as loud as a coyote's call. Featherpaw wasn't surprised if Firepaw could hear it, wherever he was. A small sigh of happiness escaped her lips, and blushed. Why should she feel this euphoric? He hated her anyways. Slowly, but stiffly, she turned to face him, her lavender eyes filled with unmistakeable pain. "Yes...? Fi-repaw." His name caught in her throat, and was unhappy that a bubbly feeling rose as she spoke it. "H-have you come to tell me how much you...hate... me? Save it. I already know. Don't worry, you wont have to deal with me much longer, I'm going the same way your brother did... Except I wont let anyone catch me." Her words were cold and sunk in to her quickly as she realized that was exactly what she planned to do.

[Badgersoul]

Firepaw’s pelt prickled at the odd sounding voice. He was so used to Featherpaw’s strong voice that it almost scared him when he herd the she-cats soft, depressed one. Firepaw turned his head to stare back at the water. The beat of his own heart pounded agents his chest, he had to take a deep breath in before his heart begin to slow. He had to say something fast or else this would be the last time he would ever see his beautiful silver goddess. Yet what could Firepaw say? I have loved you all alone- no that’s not right… no I am thinking to hard- just say what comes to mind- ” If you do decide to jump… I will be right there ,ready to catch you. No matter what happens to me, I will always be there for you…”

Firepaw’s dark colored pelt shone like a flame itself. Feathers always fall to Earth, they were perfect for another. Yet if Fire tried to catch a falling Feather, it would burn up in it’s grasp. Firepaw shivered at his own words. He sounded like a stalker, a romantic stalker, but still a stalker. He didn’t want to look at what Featherpaw’s expression was. He knew what she would say, she would say something about how Earthpaw was the only once she could love… yet Firepaw wanted- no, NEEDED her. “ I am sorry Featherpaw, please forgive me. I am a stupid rat bitten fox and doesn’t deserve to look apone a goddess like you”

[Meerful]

You say Hello...But I don't believe you...

Featherpaw's heart skipped when he said her name, and the feeling of content made her hate herself. Alot. Why should she feel anything for him? Here she was, confessing her love, and then he crushed her heart, and now he was trying to tell her he loved her? He doesn't love me!... Love me... He loves...me? Why me? I'm nothing special. He's being mean to me? Her thoughts made her head hurt. What was going on with him? Did he have some sort of multiple personality disorder or something? Her moonlight paws were glowing like earthly stars, her silver lavender eyes full of confusion, pain, and hope. Sheer dumb hope. Hope was what always lead to disappointment, sadness, hurt, death. Hope would be the very thing that killed her. If she hoped for him to love her, and it all came down to nothing, that would simply tear her small pelt to shreds that blow away in the wind and disentagrate into dust.

"Firepaw..." Her voice echoed weakly, shadowing the meek look on her delicate face, so ready to be struck down once again. "Please, tell me what you truly want. I don't want to tell you that I love you, then be pushed away again. It hurts... Too much. What if I don't want you to catch me? I may very well want to jump off that stupid cliff, and never get up again. I'd only do it for you..." She trailed, her eyes shining ambivalently. "I forgive you. I don't know hwy I wouldn't, but I know I shouldn't. You hurt me Firepaw, you hurt me bad." Her voice had drained to a whisper as she spoke from the very depths of her being. "I feel every word you said to me. I wish you could feel my pain, hear my sorrow, I wish you could speak to my fear. Fear of rejection, once again, my fear of losing you, my fear of living without you. I am not afraid of jumping off that cliff. I loved Earthpaw, but thast was a sisterly love, I could love him more than you. You're the fire that encloses me, fends off the predators, the insanity that threatens to kill me, the pain. Yet, when I try to get close to you, closer to the fire, I get burnt, hurt, scorched. I want to be close to you Firepaw, I want you to want to be close to me." Featherpaw's voice became a tad stronger as the words spilled out of her mouth. "Firepaw, I love you. With every inch of my being, I do, and if you don't feel the same, then I'm going to fall the one place that wont reject me."

[Badgersoul]

thornheart said:

Did he have some sort of multiple personality disorder or something"

[Lol! poor Firepaw!!]


Firepaw felt guilt surround him as he listened to Feathpaw's speach. It hit him like a badger's paw, slicing threw his emotions. IT was hard to belive how much Firepaw really hurt her, it made him want to just run off a clift and be done with it, but no he had to many cats to support. He had Earthpaw, Waterpaw, Icepaw, Bluepaw, and of corse Featherpaw. If he died who knows what would happen to them. Firepaw closed his amber eyes and aloud Featherpaw's word to sink into his heart- it was true. Firepaw always felt overwelmed from responsibilitys and finialy when someone came who understood him. He shot them down like a twoleg and it's pray.

Firepaw reopened his eyes and stared over at Featherpaw. "Featherpaw..." He whisperd again then pressed his nose agents the beautiful she-cat's forhead. "I know I am...difficalt.. it is just sometimes I feal like the whole world is on my sholders..." He whisperd.

[Meerful]

My heart was nothing but a potential red smear seen from the rearview mirror of a ridiculously shiny car

Featherpaw stopped. He loved her too? He did. She shook herself, darted forard, and slammed into Firepaw, resting her head on his shoulder. "Then let me help. Coals I can deal with, but fire hurts." She whispered into his ear, wishing he would not push him away, wishing he would hold her there, want to have her there, want to be her mate. Featherpaw buried her face is his fur, inhaling the scent that was distinctly Firepaw. She dug her claws into the ground, and wrapped her tail around so that it was touching his front paw. If he was going to reject her, he was going to have to step away. She wasn't going to be pushed away again. Featherpaw felt her heart beat wildly, and she pressed her ear against Firepaw... Their hearts beat in sync together, in unison, at the same time. The thought made her sigh in contentment.

Moonlight poured out of the sky, and seemed to embrace everything, but everything dulled when put in comparison to their pelts. Featherpaw's was a silvery colour, but always justa hint of lavender. Featherpaw closed her eyes, but she could still see the light tha bounced off his pelt. It seemd to penetrate her eyelids, or the image had just burned itself into her mind. The thought made her happy... And sad. Her heart was enthusiactically beating in agreement, but her mind was shouting at her to leave him, to stop putting herself in danger, to get hurt, to be broken yet again. Her mind was the minority. Her heart was singing, and her body had it's own thoughts, because she involuntarily begn to purr. The sound was almost foreign to her. It had been a long itme since she had purred. Featherpaw closed her eyes tighter, not wanting this moment to end.

"Firepaw, I love you. I always have. I want you to love me. I don't care if you're difficult, I don't care. I can help you, if you'd just let me. Open up. Please, Firepaw, I love you more than any other she-cat, mroe than your brothers, your sisters, your mother... More than Angelfur, and all of them combined. I love you more than your precious Bluekit." Featherpaw sneered the name. "But... It's your choice Firepaw. Me or her, or you. You can have me, but you can't have me and her. You can have me, but you can't have me and not open up to me, not love me. I need a tom who will love me back, but who I love also. I loved Earthpaw, very much, but it was never anything other than a sisterly love. Now please, please...Tell me you love me." She whispered into his ear.

[Badgersoul]

Firepaw closed his amber eyes, letting the sent of Featherpaw fill his senses. Lavender, Rose, and freshly fallen rain. Firepaw let the senses fill him for what seemed like hours before reopening his eyes. Her voice was soft, as if a she-cat from Starclan was talking to him. She was so beautiful, so lovely. Firepaw listened to her talk, as if her words ment the world to him- because they did. Firepaw wanted to cry. He was such a stubborn fool for loving a Thunderclan she-cat. Featherpaw had always been there, he was so blind. Firepaw closed his eyes again to let Featherpaw’s words to sink into his pelt.

Firepaw’s dark red pelt glowed a soft flame color. His emotion flooded over him, it pained him to think what would happen to him if he ever saw Bluekit again. Yet… Featherpaw- she was so beautiful and so…warm. Firepaw looked down Featherpaw, who had buried her face in his fur. His thundering purr over power Featherpaw’s purr. “Featherpaw- I have always loved you. I have always loved the way your pelt glows in the moonlight, I have always love how you eyes look like stars the sprinkle the sky. You are the most beautiful cat alive, and I will always love you” His voice was soft, something that Firepaw’s voice usually isn’t.

[Meerful]

Love, in all it's fragile forms, is the one thing that makes our everyday lives worth living.

Featherpaw purred happily, her body molding to his, not daring to move in case Firepaw would disappear into thin air. She stared out at the moonlit night, her mind burining with thoughts, with happiness, bubbling. "Firepaw I love you... But I need to ask you something." She wanted to know if he wanted to be a loner so bad, to be what his mom had been. He had left once, would he leave again? Would she have the heart to go with him? Her paws shuffled uneasily...

//Gosh, so short! I'm brain dead.//
[modified may something because i hated the colour

[Badgersoul]

Firepaw smiled down at Featherpaw, his heart was beating so hard he could barily hear her question. "Ask me anything" his voice was harsh but has a tinit of love in his voice. Firepaw wraped his tail around Featherpaw's body,pulling her closer.

[short also I staied up to late last night X.x]

[Meerful]

Featherpaw pressed her fur close to Firepaw's, blissfully noting the rough forest scent that was distinctly him. She loved how his fur was red like fire, the fire of her heart that burned passionately for him. If the earth was the sanction for feathers to fall, she preferred for hers to fall to the fire and let them be burnt up in their touch. Hot, beautiful, and worth it. Fire, so mesmerizing, fire so warm, fire so worth it. How could she not chose fire? There was always a part of her that loved Earthpaw;; like a sibling. It never grew beyond that.
"Firepaw... If you want to be a loner or a rogue, I don't watn to hold you back. I will go wherever you go." Her voice was quiet, a whispery hiss almost. Then she straightened, grinning slyly. "I guess that wasn't really a question... But I really mean it Firepaw. I want... I want you to be happy, and I love my family and my friends and my life now, but I wont make you stay somewhere you don't want to be. It doesn't matter where I want to be because I would rather be burned alive then to ever be farther away from you then this." She whispered in his ear softly, drawing her tongue over his ear and blushing slightly.

[/center][/size]

[Badgersoul]

Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are

Firepaw looked down adoringly at Featherpaw, her words where so wise and so innocent. Firepaw did want to be a rouge; following his mother's footsteps. Yet; this life with Featherpaw was much more important then being a rouge. Plus he knew that here she was safe, if they went to the rouges she could be raped, kidnapped, or even killed. He wanted nothing more then to keep the beautiful she-cat safe. Firepaw bent down to touch his mussel to her's, purring.

"No; I couldn't never make you leave the clans. You have so many friends here in Thunderclan, plus where would I be without my dear brother?" he purred softly, trying to make it sound as if he had seized the idea all together, even though it lingered in the back of his mind. Firepaw couldn't help but stare over her beautiful body. She was so beautiful it wasn't even funny; Firepaw was the luckiest cat alive. "I want to be a warrior with you, I wan't to go on patrols; just the two of us. I want to go to war with you, stand fighting beside you for a cause so great, not even Starclan themselves could beat us; but most of all I want to know you are where you belong. Right by my side; being a rouge is nothing compared to the life of a clanner. " Firepaw purred softly.[/center]