~Forgive»Me

[~All I Need]

I am sorry for all of the times I've failed you guys.

This wil be the last.

Life has failed to make me happy and I'm leaving until I find some answers. Too much has happened and I need time to think things through. As said before, I'm sorry.

I believe I'm going to have no kind of future. I can't reach the grades my family expects of me and if I don't get into the Govenor's School, I won't make it into college. I'll have no leg to stand on after that. I will have no finacial support because I won't succede in writing and no husband because I'm hideous and ungrateful.

All of my friends are displeased with me because I fail to fufill their expectations. It seems to me that I can't please anybody...

If I'm still miserable a year from now...
Well, let's just say you will never see me again.

I'm so sorry about my absence. I will try to reply to as much stuff as is possible. I love you all...

Fireice

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[Blackie]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-calms down-

Okay, look, I don't want to explode at you or anything and I have no idea what's going on and I know its really easy to get depressed when things are rough, but PLEASE pause for just a second and think.

EVERYBODY fails at some point. Its just a part of life, not the end of the road. You're still a kid, almost grown up, sure, but you have miles of opportunity ahead of you. Don't worry about everyone else. Of course you want to make them happy, but if making them happy isn't making you happy too than its not a gift to them but a burden and an obligation.

And besides that, I adore you. Your a fantastic friend. You never once failed me.

-huggles-

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[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Blackie's really summed it all up, Fiah. I know what it's like when it feels like everything's going wrong, like I've let everyone down. But it really is just life. If you think that you're gonna fail, that's whats going to happen. I mean with grades, just study, ask for help, whatever you need to do to bring them up. And friends you shouldn't have to try hard to please, in that case they're the ones letting you down. Just know that everyone here loves you a lot, Fiah. We're all here for you.

[Meerful]

Blackie really is the one to go to for help. she's really helped me over the past few weeks. don't go, that's just going to make things feel more overwhelming =/
you don't fail anyone on ITW, and we're all your friends. ITW has no expectations.

also, if you realize your problems, then don't just type about them, do something! fix them! just remember that in french; problem is male, and solution is female. haha, that had nothing to do with anything.

it seems to me that the only reason you are unhappy is because you are surrounded by unpleasant people and unpleasant things. i know you're trying hard in school because you've pmed me saying you had to study. i know that you have good friends, because all of ITW loves you. i don't believe you are hideous or ungrateful. of course, i dont' know what you look like, but i'm mighty unattractive and i have had a few relationships. what you need in your life are people who truly care about you and your well-being, a positive attitude, and encouragement. ITW is always here to support you in whatever you do and any of your decisions. excepttheonewhereyougoaway,wedon'tlikelosingourfriends.
please, just consider the fact that, even if people at home suck, ITW will ALWAYS be here for you.

[~All I Need]

Thanks, guys... If only you all knew how much this really meant to me. Nobody at home understands me and I've never had the guts or strength to tell them how I really feel about life.

I've been raised as a Methodist (just like the rest of my family) but becided to not have any faith two years ago. The other day, my grandmother and I were talking about the Govenor's School--a school in the upstate dedicated to the arts--and we were discussing the kind of courses I could take there. My mother brought up the fact that I would have to draw people...minus the clothes...
Let's just say I have an issue with nudity.

I told my grandmother that I thought that humans were hideous things and that there were much prettier creations on this planet...

She acted like I said I was going to rob a bank...

" How can you say that if you believe in God? He made us in his creation! "

I just sat there, unsure of what to say besides " Uhh... I don't. " So I didn't say anything and she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

I've never been able to stand up for myself and follow through with the actions I want to take. That's why I'm typing all of this... Because I have no one else to vent this to. My closest of friends hates me right now because she was planning to get married at fourteen to an eighteen-year-old and I told her parents...

She hasn't spoken to me in a year.

My other best friend is dealing with problems of her own and I don't want to make matters worse by telling her all of my sob stories.

None of my other friends really care enough...

The one friendship I used to cherish with this one guy has been severed due to me stupidity.

Again, I'm sorry for venting all of my misery out on you guys. You all don't deserve an ounce of it and I probably seem like a huge baby. I'll try to get back on as soon as possible. I'll check back in about two weeks.

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[Spook]

*Hugs Fiah* It's alright if you ever need to vent. We'll always be here if you need to just let it all out. I'm sure none of us would ever judge you, after all I'm sure we've all had our share of horrible times. Some of us more than others, but we've all been on the same road before. I, we, will always listen.

[Blackie]

Spook is totally right, Fiah. We're here for you, and you wouldn't be able to call us friends if we didn't pay attention to your venting. Now Meer up there might be exaggerating when she says I'm the best person to talk to. I will ALWAYS listen and give you my advice and do my very best to help, but your mom would be a much better person to turn to, you know =] She knows you better than any of us do. I've had experience with being afraid to talk to somebody, but trust me, its the best thing to do. And maybe you could just write her a letter if you don't want to face her right away. I'm sure she's there for you.

And we will always be here too.

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[Burningwing]

Aww Fiah ;_;
You're a very good friend to me!
Spook is right, vent all you want if it makes you feel better <3