::C.an't Handle it any.more::

[Burningwing]

Raven
Windclan tom




_{Please, I'm standing at the door, just can't handle it anymore.}

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Time passes, slowly, so slowly, inching by...bit by bit as you watch the life you have worked to hard to build up tumble down around you, the shards shattering as they hit the floor around you, biting at your pelt as she sharp fragments spring up against your skin. And yet, there's nothing you can do about it, nothing to stop the nightmare from coming true, nothing it stop it from fogging up your mind until you no longer saw reason, only vengeance against the ones that did this too you, the ones that pounded a sledgehammer against your wall until the cracks began to form. Fissures that would allow the cold and sorrow to leak through to you, stain your thoughts black. Seeping, thrashing, spilling through like black water to engulf you.

All this was happening to him, why him? Why him of all cats? Was it his size, his legs that seemed stilt-like as he raced around on dry pads? Moons had passed, so slowly, allowing him to wallow in misery as he watched cats, who hadn't even been born when he was old enough to become a warrior, flaunting around and going off on patrols, lazing in the sun. It was driving him mad. Leader, after leader, neither Silverstar or Wingstar had granted him his deepest wish, to become a apprentice, and then a warrior. It was much to late for apprenticeship, he had trained himself for many moons. But perhaps he had a chance...a chance with the new leader, Windclaw. Maybe she would be the one that finally accepted his desires and held that fateful ceremony.

That was why he was here, standing tall on his long lanky legs, staring into the deep entrance of the leader's den while he went over sentence after sentence, striving to find one that would manage to win him warrior-ship. He suspected the dray tabby she-cat was somewhere in the darkness down there, dozing off or consulting clan matters. Maybe she would notice Ravenkit standing, his eyes void of any emotion that you could draw from them. Ravenkit...that name had shadowed him for his whole life, though he now consulted himself as Raven, a simple name, not a warrior's name. Like him. He was a clan cat without a warriors name. The thought was rimmed with the frost in his mind, though he pushed it into the darkest corners he could summon.

A though of Drizzlekit, the cat he had loved made his heart beat quicken, beating against his rib cage violently, made his temples feel pain from the stress he was under. She too, was supposed to become a warrior, an apprentice, but now she was gone...gone far from him, leaving him with no distraction from the tragedies of his life. How he missed her, how he yearned for someone who would fill the empty roll in his life. There was no way someone could see the look on his face without knowing there was a help wanted sign hanging barrenly inside him. His thinking had given his inspiration, and with a new found courage tracing his facade, he let out a meow into the gloom. " Windclaw? Are you there? I'd like to talk to you about something, If that would be okay..."

[Ferny]

((hmmness I'm hungry, so I'll try to post this without mentioning food. XD))

Windclaw

Hollow wind runs through my saddened heart

Age, it was a funny thing. One minuet you were a kit, playing in the nursery, the next you were fighting a life and death battle. Generation after generation it was all the same, you went through kithood and into apprenticeship, then to warriorhood and if you were lucky you would spend quite a few moons as deputy, but that wasn't the case in this clan. What happened to good ol' apprenticeship? One warrior training one apprentice, not one warrior teaching four! But that is what this clan has had for many moons. And this young leader was determined to change it back to the old ways, she didn't feel it was right the way it was.

But that wasn't the only problem, Windclaw haden't even been a deputy for two moons before Wingstar dissapeared. So what did everyone think she was feeling? Proud to have the leader position now? Or the true story? Feeling upset for loosing her idol so fast, and not only that but not having any family in the clan. My family has been with Windclan since it was first founded by the first Windstar, and my brother had to ruin that. She lay in the farthest dark corner in the leaders den. Her pelt was slightly fluffed, tail tip twitching angrily. But she wasn't asleep, she lay, sadly, staring at the wall. Her icy blue eyes stared into nothingness, filled with thoughts.

She reached out with one paw, claws extended she pulled them along the wall's uneven surface. How many days had it been since Wingstar's dissapearence? Too many she thought sadly. She's dead. With a heave she pulled herself onto her stomach, chin resting on the ground. She had spent her entire life in this camp, watching all of the cats one by one, you could call it a hobby I guess. Several had caught her eye, and one in particular was probebly around her age, maybe younger. Perhaps in his twenty moons now? More or less. Raven...kit it hurt her to think the name. Why haden't the past leaders given this cat his name? Reaching up with her paws she covered her eyes and let them slowly slide untill they hit the ground. I need to talk to him

But she didn't have to go far, a nervous voice echoed into the den from the entrance. Lifting her head she perked her ears and listened. Raven she wansn't about to think Ravenkit. Pushing herself to her feet she streached and turned towards the front of the den. What was she going to say? How old was he now? She swallowed then answered "I'm here. Come in Raven" She seated herself in the dim light of the den, icy blue eyes shining slightly as she waited for the warrior aged kit to enter her den. My den.... she thought sadly.[/color]

[Burningwing]

Raven
Windclan tom




_{Please, I'm standing at the door, just can't handle it anymore.}

Could he do it? could he build his life wall back up with mortar and bricks? And if he could do all that, do all that building, could he maintain it, could he seal the creases that might break through? He would do it, whatever it took he would do it, take another chance, build another wall. He had spent a good two to three years of his life peering out the nursery entrance, watching kits who had been younger then him just keep on moving up a notch, stepping up one more stair, one more level then the small black tom was. Many, many moons... it hurt him to even think how old he was, his temples ached with unknown pressure and his chest burned as he fought back the salty tears that worked their way into his eyes. It was a hard life, but some had to do it right? But why him, why him, why him?

Was Crowpaw, where ever she was, having the same treatment as Raven was? Was she tasting the bitterness of this cruelty? She had left him... left him to wander the plains alone while she ran off to one of the clans. Didn't she give anything to her family roots, to Windclan? She had always been the strong one, the one who stood up for him when others taunted him about his size, his gangly legs and gauzy proportions. But now, even though his proportions had evened out more or less, now he needed someone more then ever. He needed Drizzlekit, he needed Crowpaw, he needed his mother his father...no. He didn't need them, he didn't need them, they weren't the right mixture, the right tool to build up his wall.

He needed Windclaw.

She was the one Raven needed the most right now, the one that could build him back up the quickest, the most efficiently. She was the only one that could grant him what he really needed the most, to become a warrior. To free him from the cramped nursery, like a raven to be freed from the metal bars of its cage to soar high above the tree tops, thermals pushing you up into the sky, puffs of clouds blurring past you. In a way, he was just like a raven, he needed space and freedom to truly be happy. Along the way he would pick up friends and family, but in order to do that, first he had to be out of this cage. Out of the prison. It was the only thing that could allow him to fix his shattered window panes.

'I'm here. Come in Raven" He could hear her hollow meow coming out from the darkness at the back of the den, where even his keen blue eyes couldn't pierce. He could almost hear thoughts woven into her words, and instinctively knew she had been thinking deeply about something before he had came here and disturbed her peace. But sometimes peace had be broken for things to come.

Clearing his throat gently, he stepped cautiously into the entrance, confidence growing as he stepped down the path in an manner that portrayed that whatever he was thinking about the past leaders, it was not her fault. " Windclaw, I think you know I'm around the same age as you, but I have not yet been granted warrior-ship, or even apprentice-ship. I've seen cats younger then me get their warrior names, and each time its almost unbearable. I understand you are still mourning Wingstar, and her loss saddens me greatly, but could you perhaps, do me something she never did?" Raven paused, feeling the next words welling up in his mouth. " Please let me become a warrior."

[Ferny]

Windclaw

Hollow wind runs through my saddened heart

Everyone has a past they would much rather keep a secret. Some is the fact that they used to be a rogue, or kittypet for that matter. Other might be because they had kits as a deputy, or even as a leader. Some family lines are true, like Windclan through and through. Others are faded, as if they were a rogue gone clan cat, or even if they were once a pure Windclan cat but moved to a different clan, say Thunderclan. If that was the case, it changed the entire persepctive on things. Ravenstrike, Windclaw's brother, was one of the cats that did this, leaving their clan for another. She vaguely remembered the last time she talked to him, she had almost ripped his fur off.

Windclaw perked her ears as she heard Raven shift slightly. The warrior age'd kit's name always reminded her of her brother, but she would never treat him the same way. She looked up towards the entrance and gazed at Raven's shillouette. Windclaw, I think you know I'm around the same age as you, but I have not yet been granted warrior-ship, or even apprentice-ship. She nodded and looked past Raven into the clearing. I've seen cats younger then me get their warrior names, and each time its almost unbearable She understood, she would have probebly gone crazy if that happened to her. I understand you are still mourning Wingstar, and her loss saddens me greatly, but could you perhaps, do me something she never did? She snapped her gaze back to Raven's, What?. There was a small pause before Raven spoke again, and with this Windclaw nodded and stood, swishing her tail to her side. She padded forward, to stand less than a tail-length from him, "Of course". She smiled, he deserves it.

(Sorry for the shortness)

[Burningwing]

Raven
Windclan tom





At that moment Raven could almost burst with the happiness, expelling whatever it was in him that made him so ecstatic, but of course he wouldn't want to do that. It had been so long since the amazing feeling had made his fur quiver, had lit a spark in his his dark amber eyes, and it seemed that they were beginning to flash with a new flame, the brilliant orange flaring and glistening as faint traces of sunlight spilled from outside the leader's den. It was as though the rays were melting the hard frost coating that was lining his veins, and as though a burden that he had been carrying on his back had been lifted off of him. It would take time to heal, he new that. A gash couldn't suddenly stitch itself back together and vanish without the slightest glimpse of delicate white scar tissue.

"Of course"

Of course. Of course. This is what he had been waiting for, wishing for, dreaming of. The sign that his wishes would become reality, and that warriorship would be within his grasp. It was just two words, just of and course. But Raven could tell, he could feel it by the way his stomach rolled like maggots squirmed in it, he trusted Windclaw, and he knew that she would finally make him a warrior and set his mind to peace. He didn't really care, quite truthfully, If after his first day as a warrior a giant badger leaped from the bushes and tore his black pelt to bits. At least he would finally have to chance to sleep within the comfort of the warriors, under the Silverpelt, able to serve his clan with every last fiber of his strength.

" Thank you so much Windclaw! You can't imagine how much this means to me! I mean-maybe you could, I'm not sure and I'm not going to pry or anything, its just that I-that I've been waiting since I first felt thoughts pierce my mine for this moment to come." It didn't take eagle eyes to tell that Raven was numb from the excitement that racked his body.