Post by Blackie on Mar 1, 2009 20:04:45 GMT -5
She felt strong.
Stronger than normal. Strong enough to walk, which felt strange. Ever since she and her brother had come in sight of the forest, she had felt so weak. And dark. She hadn't been able to see. She could see now. At least, a little bit. Surely those were trees? Yes, she knew those trees. Home. She stumbled toward them.
With each step, her stiff legs seemed to buckle and break. She couldn't stop, though. Home was in those trees. And little kits with warm, milky scents and fluffy coats. And a river with a fire orange cat. And starry nights beside a rogue queen. She loved those forest things. She mustn't stop. She must know if her other kits had become like the blind one. She must know if they had kits like their sister. Had they grown to be as beautiful? She must know.
She must also know if the fire warrior still lived. Would he be waiting by the river for her? With all her heart she hoped he had not become like his brother. Abandoning his mate when she failed to visit and her affection seemed to fade. The black queen could not bear it if the fire warrior had taken a new mate. But surely he felt loyalty to their kits if not to her.
And the rogue queen, what of her? She had loved no friend like she loved the rogue queen. No friendship had ever been so loyal and sweet. She longed to see the black and white cat. Perhaps even meet her friend's kits again. They wouldn't remember her now, but she would still love them as her own little ones.
The black queen also longed for the Thunder leader's forgiveness, but she knew she did not deserve it.
Suddenly, leaves snapped beneath her paws. She was within the trees! Familiar Thunder scents wreathed around the queen. She breathed them in deeply and purred. The well-guarded border was packed with cat scents. Many of them were unrecognizable, a younger generation. But there were some she did recognize like warriors and kits all grown up. But there were no cats now. Not so late at night. With a rush of excitement, the black queen fumbled over the border. Onto a territory no longer her own.
She made quick progress considering her handicap of weakness. She almost didn't notice how tired she was becoming. The strong smell of the Thunder camp was nearing, but the queen wasn't going to the camp. She was afraid of the camp and the cats in it. Especially her kits. They would spit at and despise her like the blind one had, she was sure of it. No, not the camp. The river.
The joyful gurgle that had accompanied her old love song, that was what the black queen longed for. To see the fire warrior again. To press against him and be close to him so she could die in peace. All she asked for.
The river seemed to approach her from the darkness. Bleak and quiet. It was unable to speak to her because of it's icy crust. The black queen felt like wailing at this cruelty. After coming this far, didn't she deserve to hear the river? No. This was her punishment for having to come this far.
There was no hope for it. She could not face her kits and meet their hate. The Thunder leader could never forgive her for abandoning the Thunder. The rogue queen had not been to the river for a long time, she could sense it. And the fire warrior . . .
With a thin haunted cry, the queen fell onto the snowy ground. She hung her head with deep shame and loss. She had nothing left. Just a living corpse.
"Flametail, I'm sorry. I never meant to. Never, never." She trembled. If cats had the blessing to shed tears, the black queen would have frozen in the river that would stream from her eyes. I never meant to stay away for so long."
And then, the water laughed.
Surprised, the black queen raised her head and pricked her ears. She knew that laugh! It was loving and gentle. The fire warrior's! Through her half-blind eyes, she could see the dim shape of a strong orange cat. The tips of his fur sparkled with starlight. His eyes sparkled too, and he blinked them with amused affection.
"Flametail!" the black queen gasped.
Her visitor laughed and she could hear him as clearly as if he were standing right beside her, even though he seemed to be hovering above the river.
"Blackpelt, why are you sulking? That's not like you! Why don't you cheer up? Come swim with me." the orange cat invited her, dipping his head encouragingly.
"Oh," the black queen mewed. "It's been awhile since I've tried to swim."
"Don't worry. I'll be with you. And we can pretend Blackthorn is with us."
"Blackthorn? And the kits asleep in the nursery?"
The orange cat blinked. "Don't you want to go back to before the kits?"
"I never want to go back to before them." the queen may have been afraid of facing her kits, but she loved them so dearly. She could not imagine her life without them.
"Alright, then we'll have the kits. But not in the nursery. They'll be here, with us. Splashing in the shallows. Do you like that?"
"Oh, yes. And are they just as I left them? Small and sweet, not grown up?"
The orange cat purred. "Of course."
The queen sighed. But not a sad sigh. "That's good, Flametail. I'll come swim with you."
"And afterwords, we'll send the kits to bed and Blackthorn will go home. Then we shall go for a walk, just you and I."
"Yes, I like that." the black queen rose to her paws and padded to the icy shore. She placed a paw on the frozen water. It cracked under the new weight, plunging her paw into the chilly blackness. The queen had expected this and was not surprised. But she hesitated.
The orange cat tilted his head to the side, curious. "Blackpelt? What's wrong?"
"Is it just pretend?" she mewed sadly.
He blinked affectionately at her. "Soon it won't be." And she knew he was right. The only thing left to do was swim.
When she had been a warrior, she had loved to swim. She loved it now too. As if the river had a magical hold on her, the black queen felt young and strong once more. She swam gracefully downstream. The orange cat laughed again and raced ahead of her on the water top. She followed him, purring.
Long river plants tangled around her backpaw. She tried to tug it away, but it was stuck fast. She couldn't move. She didn't think to panic. Instead she relaxed and pretended it was Tearkit and Snakekit holding down her leg. The splashing sound was Flametail chasing Shardkit and Sunkit in the shallows. The scratching sound was Speckledkit and Sharkkit in a play fight on the bank. The sweet bird song was Blackthorn laughing at them all. And the early morning light was the happiness in the queen's heart.
Then, purring blissfully like a safely cared for kit, Blackpelt fell asleep under the river.
Stronger than normal. Strong enough to walk, which felt strange. Ever since she and her brother had come in sight of the forest, she had felt so weak. And dark. She hadn't been able to see. She could see now. At least, a little bit. Surely those were trees? Yes, she knew those trees. Home. She stumbled toward them.
With each step, her stiff legs seemed to buckle and break. She couldn't stop, though. Home was in those trees. And little kits with warm, milky scents and fluffy coats. And a river with a fire orange cat. And starry nights beside a rogue queen. She loved those forest things. She mustn't stop. She must know if her other kits had become like the blind one. She must know if they had kits like their sister. Had they grown to be as beautiful? She must know.
She must also know if the fire warrior still lived. Would he be waiting by the river for her? With all her heart she hoped he had not become like his brother. Abandoning his mate when she failed to visit and her affection seemed to fade. The black queen could not bear it if the fire warrior had taken a new mate. But surely he felt loyalty to their kits if not to her.
And the rogue queen, what of her? She had loved no friend like she loved the rogue queen. No friendship had ever been so loyal and sweet. She longed to see the black and white cat. Perhaps even meet her friend's kits again. They wouldn't remember her now, but she would still love them as her own little ones.
The black queen also longed for the Thunder leader's forgiveness, but she knew she did not deserve it.
Suddenly, leaves snapped beneath her paws. She was within the trees! Familiar Thunder scents wreathed around the queen. She breathed them in deeply and purred. The well-guarded border was packed with cat scents. Many of them were unrecognizable, a younger generation. But there were some she did recognize like warriors and kits all grown up. But there were no cats now. Not so late at night. With a rush of excitement, the black queen fumbled over the border. Onto a territory no longer her own.
She made quick progress considering her handicap of weakness. She almost didn't notice how tired she was becoming. The strong smell of the Thunder camp was nearing, but the queen wasn't going to the camp. She was afraid of the camp and the cats in it. Especially her kits. They would spit at and despise her like the blind one had, she was sure of it. No, not the camp. The river.
The joyful gurgle that had accompanied her old love song, that was what the black queen longed for. To see the fire warrior again. To press against him and be close to him so she could die in peace. All she asked for.
The river seemed to approach her from the darkness. Bleak and quiet. It was unable to speak to her because of it's icy crust. The black queen felt like wailing at this cruelty. After coming this far, didn't she deserve to hear the river? No. This was her punishment for having to come this far.
There was no hope for it. She could not face her kits and meet their hate. The Thunder leader could never forgive her for abandoning the Thunder. The rogue queen had not been to the river for a long time, she could sense it. And the fire warrior . . .
With a thin haunted cry, the queen fell onto the snowy ground. She hung her head with deep shame and loss. She had nothing left. Just a living corpse.
"Flametail, I'm sorry. I never meant to. Never, never." She trembled. If cats had the blessing to shed tears, the black queen would have frozen in the river that would stream from her eyes. I never meant to stay away for so long."
And then, the water laughed.
Surprised, the black queen raised her head and pricked her ears. She knew that laugh! It was loving and gentle. The fire warrior's! Through her half-blind eyes, she could see the dim shape of a strong orange cat. The tips of his fur sparkled with starlight. His eyes sparkled too, and he blinked them with amused affection.
"Flametail!" the black queen gasped.
Her visitor laughed and she could hear him as clearly as if he were standing right beside her, even though he seemed to be hovering above the river.
"Blackpelt, why are you sulking? That's not like you! Why don't you cheer up? Come swim with me." the orange cat invited her, dipping his head encouragingly.
"Oh," the black queen mewed. "It's been awhile since I've tried to swim."
"Don't worry. I'll be with you. And we can pretend Blackthorn is with us."
"Blackthorn? And the kits asleep in the nursery?"
The orange cat blinked. "Don't you want to go back to before the kits?"
"I never want to go back to before them." the queen may have been afraid of facing her kits, but she loved them so dearly. She could not imagine her life without them.
"Alright, then we'll have the kits. But not in the nursery. They'll be here, with us. Splashing in the shallows. Do you like that?"
"Oh, yes. And are they just as I left them? Small and sweet, not grown up?"
The orange cat purred. "Of course."
The queen sighed. But not a sad sigh. "That's good, Flametail. I'll come swim with you."
"And afterwords, we'll send the kits to bed and Blackthorn will go home. Then we shall go for a walk, just you and I."
"Yes, I like that." the black queen rose to her paws and padded to the icy shore. She placed a paw on the frozen water. It cracked under the new weight, plunging her paw into the chilly blackness. The queen had expected this and was not surprised. But she hesitated.
The orange cat tilted his head to the side, curious. "Blackpelt? What's wrong?"
"Is it just pretend?" she mewed sadly.
He blinked affectionately at her. "Soon it won't be." And she knew he was right. The only thing left to do was swim.
When she had been a warrior, she had loved to swim. She loved it now too. As if the river had a magical hold on her, the black queen felt young and strong once more. She swam gracefully downstream. The orange cat laughed again and raced ahead of her on the water top. She followed him, purring.
Long river plants tangled around her backpaw. She tried to tug it away, but it was stuck fast. She couldn't move. She didn't think to panic. Instead she relaxed and pretended it was Tearkit and Snakekit holding down her leg. The splashing sound was Flametail chasing Shardkit and Sunkit in the shallows. The scratching sound was Speckledkit and Sharkkit in a play fight on the bank. The sweet bird song was Blackthorn laughing at them all. And the early morning light was the happiness in the queen's heart.
Then, purring blissfully like a safely cared for kit, Blackpelt fell asleep under the river.
