vulnerable. (Niche)

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

The rain falling matched Sakura's mood.

The tortoiseshell femme lay between two roots of a large oak tree. Her white tail wrapped around her body, trying to keep her completely soaked body warm. She appeared ten times smaller then she already was, and since Sakura wasn't a large cat, she could've easilly been mistaken for a lost apprentice. Her wide eyes, one ice blue and the other a clouded gray, stared up at the gray sky. There was a vulnerability to her appearance, something one did not see often. Sakura had always been taught to never show weakness, never to show the pain she felt. Yet now, she saw no point. The fae had nothing left for her. Her kits were all grown now, living their lives as loners of BloodLust. She didn't even know if they were all alive anymore. Occasionally she'd see Ariona, her smallest daughter, watching her with bright orange amber eyes. Even as a kit, Ari had possessed those eyes. The eyes of her father, Niche.

Niche.

Sakura's heart nearly stopped at the name. Niche, the love of her life, the one cat she could really depend on. He'd always been her rock, the one thing that had kept her sane during those first moons. He'd been there through it all. He'd saved her life more times then Sakura could count, and in more ways then she could count. Truly, he was the one thing keeping her alive, the motive for her to breathe. But now, he was gone. Moons upon moons had gone by since that battle with the ThunderClan patrol, with the peskering kits trying to pick a fight, along with the few warriors. She hadn't seen Niche since then, and ever since that day Sakura would come to the ThunderClan border and wait for a trace of him. Had he been captured as prisoner? Sometimes she'd sneak close to the camp and peer inside, yet she hadn't seen him.

Now, there the she-cat lay, beneath two roots. Her pelt plastered against her shaking body, bringing out her wide eyes. Vulnerability. It had always been a sign of weakness to Sakura. Yet now, she'd never felt more vulnerable. Any cat could stumble by and try and chase her off, but she would not fight back. They could taunt and jeer at her, but she'd turn her deaf ear on them. None of it mattered anymore. The rainfall increased, causing the tortoiseshell to close her dull eyes. The scent of rain overwhelmed her, practically suffocating her. It reminded her of when she and Niche had jumped the cliffs at the WindClan border, and they'd both almost drowned when they were caught by a current. Not long after, the kits had been born. It was all so crazy. Sakura could remember every detail of every moment she and Niche shared together, and every night she went to sleep knowing that she'd never forget.

[Meerful]

N i C h E,,

oh, mon amour, j'aime toi avec mon coeur

Niche's sides heaved with effort as he scrambled up into a tree, higher and higher until his claws bleed. The trunk and branches had been gnawed by porcupines and other animals until it body was as bare and smooth as ice, offering him no grip. He shoved his claws into its bark and heaved himself upward before ripping them out and repeating the pattern.
He was goign to climb to the top and search for a way out of this place.
Niche had been taken prisoner so many moons ago, that he lost count. He was always being guarded, he was confined to the camp, unless he had to be out. Sometimes they let him hunt, but not enough to give him accurate excercise. He became restless, cranky, and his fur went from sleek to dull and matted. He was a mess, and it was all the clans fault. The she-cats would glare at him, warriors would scoff at him, and kits would stare at him wide-eyed as if he had walked right out of their nightmares and into their camp.
Maybe he had. Maybe he should have taken a couple warriors down, but that would have ruined his chance. If he tried to run home, that would just bring them to the loners, and as far as he knew, they would be scattered and living their seperate lives, therefore he couldn't do that to them. Not to Sakura. What if they ran to her and killed her without a second thought? A shudder rippled through Niche. He dragged himself upward, still. Since he couldn't leave that way, he was going to get out the only way he could.
He was going to climb to the top of a tree where no one would find him. It was going to rain soon. The warriors had let him go unsupervised for just a moment, and he seized his chance to run away. He went a little way off, right to the border, and hurled himself up the nearest tree. He wished he'd chosen another, but he couldn't turn back now, or the warriors would find him. They would see that his scent stopped here, and probably assume he'd been taken down by a monster.
Oh, how he hoped they would believe that.
A few raindrops began to sprinkle down and plop onto his head. The blood around his claws washed down, seeping through his fur and staining the ashy trunk. Hopefully, it would wash away before the warriors scented it. As if the sky understood, it began to rain harder, and a growl ripped through the sky at the same time as lightning jaggedly split through it. Then the rain increased to a steady downpour, and Niche knew he was in the clear. The warriors wouldn't even look for him in this weather.
He yanked his claws out of the bark one last time, reaching the top branches which were almost too thin to support his weight. He slipped once, almost falling before catching his balance and teetering on the little twigs. The wind knocked them around, and him too. Settling in a nook, he found stability and rested there, under a canopy of leaves and falling water. His eyes closed, relaxed, and he fell into a deep sleep.
-waking up-
Niche's eye blinked open, and he stared around a cloak of darkness. He'd slept all the way until moonhigh. The rain did not cease to pour, and his claws were sore and frayed from his desperate climbing. So far, he was safe. No one had found him, maybe no one had even looked. But they would, in his heart he knew they wouldn't stop searching their territory. He was amused when he thought about how they would jump at every little twig snap, ruslte of leaves, dark eyes. They would think it was him, waiting to ambush them. Maybe one day he would come back and do just that. Or maybe he would find Sakura, and take her far away from these evil cats, and keep her safe.
Of course, she wouldn't go for that. She was tougher than that. He had known that time and time again, as they plunged into danger. The adders, the cliffs, the trees, the everything. They had more memories than an elder. They would be together forever.
Except for now. He was alone, and she probably was too. A claw of jealoust gripped his heart as he wondered if she had found someone else. Would she do that to him? After all, she didn't even know if he was alive. Could she really? He wouldn't blame her, and if she did, he would still fight for her. She was his everything. How could he not fight for that?
Niche began to groom his paws, his heart now consumed with urgency. He had to get back to Sakura. He didn't think he could even remember how to talk though. He hadn't spoken a word to any cat in that vile clan. He hadn't done anything but nod, shake his head, flick his tail, and stare with pained eyes. All because he was miserable, hungry, tired, weak, restless, lonely, and his heart was breaking being away from Sakura. He didn't even know if his voice worked anymore.
Frightened, he opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Puzzled, he flicked his tongue around his lips. He strained his ears and tried again.
"Ugh." Was all that could be heard. But it was a start. Feeling a little more confident, he tried again, this time trying to say Sakura's name,
"Sakura!" Niche called, saying it a bit too loudly. Happiness spread through him, making him feel warm, even though he was soaked. "Sakura..." He purred. A new hope filled him, and he began to groom his paws, freeing them from all the blood.

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

When she'd heard the voice, she thought she was going mad.

Sakura had fallen into restless slumber, and when her eyes finally opened again, she was greeted by the soothing sound of the steady rainfall. The darkness of the night did not surprise her. Her dreams had been filled with images of him, of the past, when life was perfect. She remembered when she and Niche had killed the adders, planning on scaring stupid Clancats with them. Sakura had been bit at one point. Niche had been so scared. Sakura had always been annoyed, the way he constantly looked after her and feared for her. She'd always felt as if she could take care of herself. Now, she knew that she was wrong. She needed Niche, especially now. She'd give anything to hear his voice, scolding her, asking if she was alright. It didn't matter. Just one more time...

And then, just like that, she'd heard it.

"Sakura!"

Her head shot up off her paws, eyes gazing into the darkness of the night. No, that wasn't possible. Yet it was. His voice... it had been so clear. The sound of it was a small distance away. Sakura blinked, slowly and shakily getting to her paws. Niche was there. He had to be. She'd heard him, calling to her. Sakura couldn't help the smile that formed at her lips. She had to hold onto this hope. Though the disappointment she'd face if she didn't find him would kill her, this was all she had left to cling to. She needed to believe he was alive, and they'd be together again. This couldn't just be false hope. The sound of his voice had been what she wanted, and she'd gotten it. Now, however, she needed more. The beginning shock of hearing Niche's voice was fading off. She needed to hear his voice again, to prove he was there, to prove she wasn't dreaming and would wake up to more disappointment.

"N-Niche?" Her voice came out soft at first, but her confidence and strength quickly grew back. "Niche!" Her voice was simply drenched with the hope she felt. The soaked femme took a few hesitant steps forward, gazing around with wide eyes. Her one good ear remained pricked upwards, listening, desperate to pick up any sound. All she heard and felt was the gentle downpour of rain. It chilled her to the bone, making a shudder roll up her spine. The cover of the tree was gone as she walked forward, searching for a sign of her love. Now filled with determination, Sakura raised her head high, ignoring the rumble of thunder and flash of lightning from all around her.

"Niche!" she called again, raising her voice over the thunder. Please... please, just one more time... The faint scent of blood began to waft into her nostrils, yet she pushed the thought away. Her ears remained pricked, her eyes open and senses alert. If Niche was really out there, he'd answer her. The thought that she'd lost her mind still was evident, though. It had been so long... Hope overpowered doubt in Sakura's mind, and she stood out in the center, rain falling down even faster now, mixing with the cold night air to give her another chill.

[Meerful]

N i C h E,,

all of my memories keep you near, in silent moments, i imagine you being here

Niche tugged at one of his claws. It was mostly torn off, and he didn't want to bother with a snag, so he clamped his teeth around it and pulled.
"Agh!" He spat, flicking the cripple off his tongue and licking his lips to get the blood off them. His paw was bleeding heavily, and he knew it could become a problem if he didn't do something about it. Searching, his eyes rested on what he needed most; a moon washed cobweb, shining with little drops of rain that looked like translucent jewels. He carefully dragged himself over to it and picked it off the branch, swathing his paw in the little strands. His blood began to stain the white little strings, and he felt a rush of fear. What if he bled to death? Determinedly, he applied pressure by putting his paw in his mouth. He clamped hard, but not enough to cause anymore damage. He could taste the tang of his blood, and again a flicker of worry spread through his mind.
Then something distracted him completely.
Niche!
It was her voice. It was Sakura. He wasn't imagining it! He almost leaped for joy, before he realized where he was, and that one of his paws was currently in critical care in his mouth. Gently, he removed his paw and studied it for a fraction of a second before giving it an ok. It had stopped bleeding, and that was good enough for him.
"Sakura!" He tried calling back, but his underused vocal chords were having a hard time mustering up enough volume to make it boom louder than the rain and thunder. Niche sucked in a deep breath of air and tried once more,
"SAKURA?" He yowled, feeling a sense of wonder. He had not spoken so loud in so long, he reveled in the feeling of her name sliding out of his throat.
The leaves around him were blocking his view of the ground below as his eyes searched desperately for her gorgeous pelt or her perfect eyes. She was so wonderful, so amazing, and he could hardly believe she was really down there, saying his name as he had just been saying hers.
It couldn't really be this easy could it?
More doubt clouded his thoughts. She wasn't really down there, he was only hearing what he wanted to hear. There was no way Sakura would risk herself to try to get to him. Was there? Niche bit his lip and suddenly felt stupid. Of course she would! Of course she would look for him! She loved him, and he loved her, and he knew he would do the same for her.
She shouldn't have been doing that. It wasn't safe. She probably knew he disapproved. He would never want her to endanger her life like this. He was so precious to her, and he treated her like a delicate flower whose petals could just simply fall of with a single flick.
He didn't want anything to happen to her.
Could anyone blame him?
Sakura was so courageous, and strong, and tough, and beautiful, and delicate in a way, and loyal to him. That struck him the most. She didn't even know if he was alive and still, she hoped and waited for him as though he still was and was just on an extended hunting trip.
He would do the same for her. He would wait for her until he had watched the sun rise and set and the moon settle in for the last time. He would wait until his very last breath. He wanted to be with her until the very last breath. It hurt him now, not being with her as he did breathe. In fact, his breathing was increasing and going into hyperventilation as he urgently looked for her. His heart was pounding in his ears so loud, she could be yelling for him and he wouldn't be able to hear her.
"Sakura! If that's really you, and I'm not insane, I'm up here!" He yowled to the ground with all of his might. He sincerely hoped that she would hear him and she would see him. That's all he needed, all he wanted. Just to see her. He could be completely content falling out of the tree and dying, if he could just see her!
Bravely, he began to make his way back down, going from branch to branch instead of clinging to the trunk. It was faster to go down the trunk, but his paws were in no shape for it. The branches were wet and slippery, causing him to lose balance frequently. His tail spun behind him like a falling leaf, helping his as much as possible. He bit his lips and opened his eyes wide. The darkness didn't help much, but he could make do with what little moonlight he had.
Niche scrabbled down onto a thick wide branch, and looking over it, he saw just a glimpse of Sakura's fur. It wasn't good enough. He wanted to see her. All of her. He had to see her now. Niche looked at the tree, the trunk behind him, his paws, and then the ground. There were many tail lengths between him and the ground. He wasn't up at the top, but he wasn't very close to the bottom either.
Niche began mentally calculating his chances of survival if he jumped from here. He had to admit to himself that they were not very good. But that didn't stop him. He was going to get down there as fast as he could, even if it killed him.
Which it just might.
Niche sucked in a huge breath and bunched his muscles, preparing himself to spring. Quivering, he closed his eyes, and leaped.
.
..
.
..
It felt like moons; the air was pushing back up at him, trying to make him go back up. It was as though the air was telling him he'd made a mistake, to go back, to stop plunging towards his death. Another moment of wind whistled past his ears, and he felt his paws hit the earth with such an impact, it left them stinging. His eyes jurked open from the shock, and he felt himself lose his balance, stumble, and fall.
Then the pain set in. His legs went numb for just a minute, and then began to hurt as though he had run for seasons and he was just now stopping. His flanks heaved, and he pulled himself back up, ignoring the searing pain. He tested each paw, stepping forward, then in a circle.
Nothing broken. He'd lived.
Niche exhaled, his body shaking as he did, and then he remembered the reason he had jumped. As if shocked by a tazer, he spun on his paws, looking for Sakura. He did about two and a half circles before he spotted her, and he felt his heart swell when he saw her, drenched with rain, shining in the moonlight.
She looked like an angel.
"Is that really you...Sakura?" He whispered hopefully, his eyes shining as he took in her beauty.

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

It felt like eternity before an answering call came to her. But when it did, Sakura began to run. She didn't stop, she just followed the sound of his voice. It was so much like things had been before. She'd followed Niche everywhere and anywhere without a single doubt in the past, and that wasn't going to change now. His voice gave her a shock, a burst of energy that sent her flying through the trees. She wasn't imagining it, he was there. He was alive. Tears came to her eyes, a sign that all the joy she felt needed to be let out. Sakura nearly yowled out her happyness, yet she couldn't waste her breath. She needed to reach Niche, to get him out of this territory. They'd be together again, and this time nothing would seperate them. Sakura would follow Niche to the ends of the earth if it meant she'd never have to lose him again, to go through the agony of not having him by her side.

She stopped, hearing Niche's voice yet again. Her eyes were bright as she gazed upward, listening to Niche's words. Sakura's smile was something rare these days; she hadn't found the need to smile ever since Niche had disappeared. But now... she saw no reason to not smile. Her eyes were alight with laughter, even her gray, blind eye held a new sparkle. She could hear the rustle of leaves as Niche made his way down, and each slip sent her heart into overdrive. No... he couldn't fall... not now, not when they were so close. "I'm here!" she called up to him, laughter and worry mingling within her voice. "Please, be careful..." Her voice became quieter as she mewed these words, fear choking her throat. If Niche were to fall from that height, the odds weren't in his favor. She shook the thoughts from her mind, gazing upwards with eyes filled with determination.

Just like that, she saw him falling.

Her heart stopped. Time halted. Her breathing ceased for that split second. Sakura couldn't move, just stare as Niche fell from the tree and to the ground. When she saw him finally land on his paws, she felt a stab of relief, but it all vanished as she saw him topple over. She could just stand there, waiting for him to stand up, like she knew he would. Niche was strong, a fall wouldn't bring him down. Just as anticipated, she saw Niche get shakily back to his paws. Sakura's heart started back up, now double time, as her gaze locked with his own orange amber gaze. He was okay. They were together again. Yet Sakura couldn't help it, she was suddenly afraid. Had Niche's feelings ever changed? Did he still care about her, as she did for him? He had to. He wouldn't have risked that if he didn't. Sakura smiled at him, a sudden feeling of shyness overcoming her. She shuffled her paws, looking for words to say, listening for his reaction.

"Is that really you...Sakura?"

She couldn't help it. Sakura plunged forward, burying her face in Niche's chest. She tried to hold back the tears, but she could feel them slowly coming out. A flood of emotions swept over her as she nuzzled against Niche, holding back a sob of joy. "Y-Yes. Niche... I've missed you, so much." She just wanted to stay there, with Niche again. It didn't matter where they were. ThunderClan territory or not, she didn't care. She was with him again. They'd found each other, like she'd always known they would. For a moment, Sakura couldn't help but wonder if she was coming on too strong, or if her reaction would shock Niche and push him away. Why had she suddenly become so self-conscious? The question pulled at her mind, but for now she pushed it away. Nothing mattered except Niche anymore. And again, Sakura found herself vulnerable.

[Meerful]

N i C h E,,

je veux toi avec moi

Niche felt a sense of wonder spread all through him, his eyes filling with tears that leaked down his face and splashed onto Sakura's already drenched pelt. A rush of heat caused him to feel embarrassed by her closeness. She was pressing up against him. He could feel his wet fur beginning to mingle with until their skin was touching, causing little pulses of electricity to course along his spine. A purr errupted in his throat, but still his whiskers twitched uncomfortably. It had been so long since he had spoken to any cat, let alone touched one. Sometimes apprentices would come up behind him and jab him with their paws, sneering at him, calling him names, and he used to snarl. He would bare his fangs at them until they backed away, fur exploding from them like fireworks. He'd gotten in trouble for it, been threatened with death. After a while, he stopped reacting at all. He would simply stare vacantly at the sky, or maybe at nothing, and wish for Sakura. It seemed as though his memories of her didn't even compare to the beauty that was touching him now, sobbing into her wet fur. He could remember all those times he struggled just to recall what this type of close contact felt like. He longed for it. Now he wanted to flinch away, fear pulsing through his veins, burning his eyes. If they were watering from rain or stress, or something more, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that he had Sakura, but his body was screaming for the familiar feeling of solitude. His heart was beating for her, she was his only will to live. That he knew. He also knew that he would give her anything as long as she would promise not to plunge into trouble anymore. But this... This nearness was overwhelming his senses until he felt like he was drowing in her scent, her fur, her eyes, her. He was afraid he was going to melt into her and disappear inside her heart forevever. Moments ago, he would have wished for just that. Now, now that he could feel it, and understand how alien it was now, he simply wanted to step back and drink in her sight. He could handle that.
Feeling slightly awkward, Niche backed one paw up, and then another, and then again until he was standing in front of Sakura instead of her standing virtually under his paws. He stared at her sympathetically, apology in his forest-like orbs. Within them they held the wild of the forest, ancient amounts of sorrow that begged for just a second of forgiveness, and all the love any dismension could possibly contain. Niche tried to show her with his eyes how he felt, he gazed at her, staring intently. His words were failing him, dying in his throat along with his heartbeat that gradually slowed to normal after their close embrace. His mouth opened, trying to tell her he loved her, that he had been thinking of her, but all he could do was stare at her and marvel at her. His paws itched to run towards her again, but his heart jumped frantically as his skin remembered the unfamiliar tingle of fur pressing together. He averted his gaze after a moment that could have lasted seasons. He looked down at his drowned paws, already beginning to bleed again. He felt a little shaky, a little dizzy, and rather uneasy. His fall was just finally beginning to wear off and the pain of it was really setting in. It ached just to be standing up. His tail, which had flailed wildly behind him, now drooped on the ground. It wasnted to stand up, and lash like a flag of victory. He had what he wanted. He was with Sakura, but his exhaustion was beggining to take over. He took in a long jagged breath, enjoying the way the wind tasted, and the ever so sweet fragrance of Sakura. It pulled him in. He stepped close, cautious. His eyes darted around and rested on her and his glanced down at his paws, terrified she might be hurt from his previous rejection.
"I'm...Sorry...Sakura..." He mumbled, not sure he was speaking the words correctly. He sometimes over emphasized the wrong syllable or didn't have any emphasis on the words at all. It sounded foreign to him, but then again, so did her words. At least she spoke them confidently. Niche tried not to look in her eyes, afraid of what he might see there...
Or what he might not see at all.
Stumbling, Niche rested on his haunches and stared at his paws, the tips of his almost touching hers. Was she looking at him? Gazing into his eyes and waiting for him to complete the visual transaction? Or was she looking away? Was she hurt? Did she understand his trepidation? Niche bit his lip and busied himself by looking at the thin strand-like stream of blood that was licking out of his paws and greedily making its way across the ground, mixing with water, before it was sucked into the dirt. He took another deep breath, trying to imagine what to say to her. His mind was screaming all the things he wanted to tell her, but his mouth wasn't cooperating.
A stab of fear seemed to jolt Niche to his senses. He was still in Thunderclan, treading on enemy dirt, being rained on by enemy rain, and feeling his heart shatter in the presence of everything that belonged to his enemies. Did he belong to them too? Perhaps that's what they had thought. Terrified, Niche brought his frantic eyes to meet Sakura's, still afraid he might be horrified to find that she had lost the warm gleam in them that was there. He didn't look for it, and he didn't directly see it either. All Niche could do was try to see himself in the reflection of their depths, while trying to warn her;
"You need to run. Get away from here as fast as you can. Don't...Wait for me. I will only slow you down, and I don't want you to face that place." His voice still sounded awkward, but he was remembering vaguely a few social skills. His eyes pleaded for her to listen to him. If they found him, he would go alone. Nothing in the world would ever make him forgive himself if Sakura was taken to that pitiful excuse for a clan. Even with him in the condition that he was in, he would fight to the death to protect her. Of course, the warriors wouldn't be coming anytime soon, but he didn't want to take any chances. Sakura was too important to him to have to watch her suffer. After all, he loved her, despite his awkwardness and fear of close physical contact.

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

She had feared that this would happend. She'd hoped that it wouldn't, had pleaded with the heavens that she wouldn't feel the type of pain she felt now. Yet deep down, she knew that it was going to happen. Sakura only watched helplessly as Niche stepped away from her, as if her touch was too much for him. Sakura looked at her paws, embarrased, hurt, and completely crestfallen. It had been many moons since they had last seen each other, but still, it hurt to see the cat she truly loved flinch away from her. Niche's apology seemed to hang in the air for a moment, yet Sakura didn't lift her gaze from her paws. She longed to run for him again, to know that they were together again and that Niche would never let her go. But she couldn't handle another rejection.

His paw was almost touching hers. Sakura almost moved her paw over, just barely a centimeter, so their paws would be touching merely at the tips. She kept them rooted in place, though. She was suddenly shy, quiet, like a little school girl come face-to-face with their long-time crush. This was so different from that though. She and Niche were in love, they'd had a litter of kits together. There was no reason for this awkward feeling, her fear of rejection. He loved her, and she loved him. Sakura knew that she just had to remember that, yet it was so hard. She couldn't help but hold onto that fear that, just maybe, Niche didn't want her anymore. Just thinking of that made Sakura want to cry. She would be so lost, so alone. Sakura couldn't even imagine that in her head.

"You need to run. Get away from here as fast as you can. Don't...Wait for me. I will only slow you down, and I don't want you to face that place."

Sakura's eyes flew up, meeting Niche's gaze with a determined glare. Did he honestly think that she would leave him now? After all this time, there was no way that she could just run away. Part of her screamed at her, telling her to run away. This side fed her mind lies, saying that Niche was only saying this to get rid of her. But Sakura pushed those thoughts away. She could see the concern in Niche's gaze; it was a look she was all too familiar with. She almost smiled at the memories; the corners of her lips had already begun to pull up into a smile. How many times had Niche tried to protect her? How many more times had Sakura simply insisted that she could defend herself? For a moment, it crazily felt like old times.

"I'm not leaving," she mewed, voice determined, furious. "Especially not without you. I've never left before, there's no way I'm leaving now." Her eyes, one silver and one blue, gazed straight at Niche. "We're leaving her together or not at all. Come on, while we're walking I'll get some cobwebs for your paws." The stubborn femme got to her paws, determination in her stance.

[Meerful]

N i C h E,,

my lips, two blushing pilgrims,
ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

you o wrong, your hands too much.
for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do not touch.
have not saint lips?
ay, lips that they must use in prayer
oh, then, dear saint!
let lips do what hands do! i pray, grant me a kiss,
lest faith turn to despair.
saints do not move, though, grant prayers' sake.
then move not while my prayer's effect i take.
thus from my lips, by thine sin is purged.
then have my lips the sin they have took
sin from my lips? oh, trespass sweetly urged!
give me my sin again.
[translation: romeo compared his lips to pilgrims, and hers a shrine he must be near, and tells her to let their lips do what hands do, and kisses her. she calls it a sin that he can only take back by kissing her again. cute huh?]

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Niche recoiled from the pain he saw in Sakura's eyes, the pain he could feel rolling off of her like waves rolling off the shores on sand and being sucked back into the depths of the ocean. As the wind swirled around them, and the rain drops sprinkled upon both of them, he felt as if his earlier happiness was being lapped up by the ground just as the rain. An endless misery, instead, was settling on him, making his paws heavier and hurt more than before. It was as though a claw had pierced through his chest and shredded his heart like an enemy, and now he had nothing within him that Sakura wanted. It seemed so dreadfully apparent to him that maybe he didn't deserve Sakura. After all, hadn't there once been anohter cat she had her eyes on? Ashfur... To this day that name still made his heart beat pick up frantically and beat on his chest like a kamakazzi animal. He feared that name, and just what kind of memories it could inspire in Sakura. What if she remembered being with him, and how she felt, and maybe liked that feeling more than she liked being with him? Niche desperately wanted to press his face against her's and stand like that with her forever, but it would just feel so confusing and his emotions and words would jumble up and nothing would make sense until he stepped away and cleared his head. And he knew this. He knew he wasn't in enough control of himself to really multi-taks like that, to think, speak, feel, and respond. Niche sighed softly to himself and closed his eyes, breathing in the forest around him.
The wind was picking up and buffeting against his small body, nearly knocking him off his once strong paws, which used to be thick with muscles and wiry with strength and lean with agility. Now he was merely just another half-dead scrawny cat. Maybe Sakura deserved to be with someone better than him. No, not maybe. She did deserve someone better. She ddeserved a cat who wasn't terrified by the simplest things, like just a tiny brush of fur or just talking. Niche could already feel the salt water stinging his eyes, and wondered how he could even tell a difference with all this rain. His tail lay flat on the ground, unmoving, as was his heart. He knew within his chest the life pumping organ still beat, but the emotional state of his heart, love's secret architecture, was no more alive than the leaves fluttering down from the trees, already crisp with dryness as their lives, just as his, ended. In a fragile part of his mind, he knew life would be nothing without Sakura, and he wouldn't blame her for leaving him after the hurt he had bestowed upon him.
Niche bit his teeth, looking down at the ground where his paws were still freely bleeding, and nothing within him wantedto do anything about it. Maybe it would be better for him to just surrender to this feeling, and maybe all the aches and pains would go and he could close his eyes, never again to have them open until he bleeds out all he'd been. Oh, and it was in the night, but Sakura was the sun! She killed the envious moon who was already pale and sick with greif! Standing in the territory, but he had night's cloak to hide him from their eyes. But, unless Sakura and he could still be together, let them find him there. He knew his life would be better ended by their hate than his death prorogued, wanting of her love. How could this have happened? What did he do right before that he wasn't doing right now? Memories jabbed at him, and he remembered all the fearful waiting, wanting to know where her heart lay, terrified that it might not be in the grasp of his paws. He could remember the times when he was just her best friend, while she was the love of his life, and he found himself doting after her like a thoughtless kittypet wandering into the grarden. But Sakura was so much more. Sakura was everything.
"We're leaving her together or not at all. Come on, while we're walking I'll get some cobwebs for your paws.
Niche's ears perked, and he felt the same turmoil in his stomach roll into a tense ball of anxiety. Nothing mattered to him except her safety, and she knew that. She knew how much it bothered him to think of her getting her, or even losing a scrap of fur. He loved her, that he was sure of. The terrified feelings he was getting when he touched her were nothing compared to the strong amount of love that could possibly leaking out of his pores, because he was so full of it that he didn't think his body could contain it.
"Sakura..." He started out softly, his voice still rough from lack of use, however. "I missed you..." He attempted feebly, trying to say something that would remind her that he was still the cat she loved, he was just lost.
He needed her. He needed her to help him and guide him and be there with him through it all. He knew he couldn't handle any of this on his own. How could he ever become normal again if the one cat he loved and relied on most lost hop in him? A shudder rolled down his spine just thinking about it. His moods jumped, and he became determined. He would not lost Sakura, not at any cost. She was something so sweet and tender from his heart, and he knew she deserved better, but that wasn't going to stop him from fighting for her until he was beaten. If love was going to be rough with him, he would be rough with love. He would p.rick love for p.ricking, until he beat love down.
"I need you. More than you know." He whispered queitly, glaring at the ground intently, feeling strength flow to his limbs. "I'm afraid. Being in night, all this is but a dream. Too flattering-sweet to be substantial." His throat croaked, and he coughed in the middle of his sentence, but he lifted his gaze and stared at her, trying to convey his thoughts. "Don't bother with the cobwebs. Let's just get out of here." He attempted to grin at her crookedly, but he doubted she could see him through the rain and crackling lightening.

[some lines used from Romeo and Juliet ;] ]

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[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Sakura glanced at Niche once, before her mind started to drift, drift to a different time many moons ago. Back when her heart had been torn between two cats, between Niche and the Clanner, Ashfur. Ashfur had been a RiverClan warrior, and though the two of them started out rough, Sakura had started to develop feelings for him. It was soon after that, that she met Niche for the first time. Sakura had been helping Bone, injured and bleeding, when a frantic Niche raced into the clearing, hovering fearfully over Bone. At first, he hadn't even paid attention to Sakura, barely even responding to her questions. Yet soon after, the two found themselves hunting together under the moonlight. Niche had introduced Sakura to marmots, one of the best pieces of prey Sakura herself had ever had.

Things began to change rapidly after that. Niche, who had once just been a best friend, suddenly was beginning to mean more to her then anyone, even Ashfur. And yet, at one point she told Niche she needed to think, that Ashfur was still on her mind. In Sakura's confusion and depression, she'd wandered into ShadowClan territory, where a fight with an apprentice had nearly ended her own life. Niche was the one that saved her. Sakura realized then where her heart truly belonged, and that was with the tom before her now. Those feelings were still there; a love never to be broken. Niche needed her now, like Sakura had needed him then. Sakura had to be strong, had to help him return back to the way things used to be. It didn't matter how long it took. As long as she and Niche remained together, everything would work out.

"Sakura... I missed you..." Niche's voice was soft, feeble. Sakura smiled softly back at him. She'd missed him too, missed him so bad that every day without him pierced another hole in her heart. Having him back beside her, even with the awkward, nervous feelings, was like having a bandage being placed onto those wounds. "I've missed you, too," she murmured. "Every day I would wait here, at the border, hoping to see that you were alright." She didn't mention that she'd snuck toward the camp, knowing how worried Niche would become.

"I need you. More than you know. I'm afraid. Being in night, all this is but a dream. Too flattering-sweet to be substantial."

The words sent Sakura's heart into overdrive. Memories of Niche's always poetic words of his love for her flooded into her mind, and suddenly she felt as if she were back in the past, the days when life was easy. When ThunderClan hadn't ruined everything. Sakura couldn't help but smile. "I need you, more then I need the air I breathe. These moons without you have been worse then torture. You can't imagine how happy I am right now, just to see you."

She felt Niche's gaze on her as he told her that they both had to just get out of there. Sakura nodded in response, just barely catching sight of Niche's signature crooked grin. Sakura was speechless, hundreds of images of Niche, grinning in that same way, flashing through her mind. How many times had that grin just sent her heart flying, had saved her from going completely insane. Sakura's spirits were soaring, and as she prepared to exit this horrid Clan's territory, her mood was nearly as joyful as it had been when she first saw Niche again. Everything would be okay.

[Meerful]

[should my post be the last in this particular thread?]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

((works for me =) ))

[Meerful]

[Actually, i think yours should just be the end, and you can make a new thread in the LONERSSSS terra =D work for you?]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

((k that works! =D i'll start on it later today, once i get some muse back.)

[Meerful]

[yeah, 'cause i just can't think of what else for niche to say or do here LOL]
-locked!-