when i'm constantly failing you.

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

As the sun set over the Thunderpath, the monsters started to race by less and less. Every time, though, cause Flightfall's light gray pelt to ruffle with unease. His black paws scraped against the ground, and he lashed his tail as another monster charged by. His emerald eyes followed the shiny red creature until it faded into the distance. Though loud and frightening, Flightfall knew that monsters never left the Thunderpath. He closed his eyes at the thought, more relaxed as he sat down now, no longer standing in case he needed to run. The deputy felt completely and utterly exhausted, and had to resist the urge to lie down and fall asleep right there. His worried and doubtful thoughts were the things that kept him awake, though. Doubt. That was all he really felt at the moment.

He wasn't ready to be deputy. All the memories of the past flooded back into his mind, all the cats that he himself had failed, had let down. The list was constantly running through his mind these days, reminding him of how worthless he was to the Clan, how he shouldn't have been deputy. One that hurt him the most was Ivypaw... He'd stopped training her after her leg, mainly because she'd been clinging to Severedclaw, which had hurt him in a way. But after that, he'd lost the little cat who had been like a daughter to him. Whenever she'd look at him, her gaze would be filled with hate. It killed Flightfall whenever he saw that. And what about Severedclaw? He'd failed his friend when he failed Ivypaw.

One cat always stood out over all the rest though. Rosethorn. Whenever he thought of his best friend, he thought of how much pain he'd caused her, how he'd practically banished her from his thoughts one day, and ever since then he hadn't seen her. After the rose thorn inncident, Flightfall had said to Rosethorn that he never wanted to see, hear, or even scent her ever again. He didn't. He'd been too angry at her to realize that she was just in pain. In the end Rosethorn survived, but Flightfall had no idea where she'd gone. Every time he thought of her, his heart ached. He missed her, needed her back, to be there for him like she always had been when they were younger. And he'd always be there for her, never abandoning her again.

A loud screeching noise entered Flightfall's ears. A cat had run across the Thunderpath in a panic, not noticing the monster barreling across at high speed. The monster, in fear of hitting the cat, turned rapidly, right toward where Flightfall was sitting. His eyes grew wide. No. Monsters couldn't leave the Thunderpath! But this one did. Flightfall leapt out of the way just a split second before the monster slammed into the tree that he was sitting in front of. To anyone watching the scenario, it would've looked like he had gotten hit. Flightfall hadn't, though. The gray and black tom lay huddled in a bush, not daring to move, not daring to breathe and alert the monster to his presence. His emerald eyes were wide with fear. How had that happened? Monsters weren't supposed to ever leave the Thunderpath!

[~All I Need]

DRAGONFLYEYES
ShadowClan Warrior

I can feel you all around me...

... thickening the air I'm breathing.

[/color]

Green eyes were like two beams of light in the twilight shadows as they stared numbly across the landscape. This was home... The land where the pines grew and the marshes held a whole ecosystem of deadly creatures. It was his haven... But now it held nothing but horrible memories, heartbreak, nothingness...
The green eyes blinked, catching a ray of light. The purple and gold flecks around the puils glimmering like bits of gold and amethyst locked in ancient jade. A cold breeze galloped across the ground, kicking up debris and flailing tree limbs in its fury. This cold wind embraced the tom and he shivered, fur fluffed out to keep the cold out. It didn't work, though. His jet-black fur was too thin and short for this kind of weather...
Deciding to hunt to circulate his blood more, Dragonflyeyes scented the air, drawing the frigid air into his lungs. A warm, delicious scent thickened his senses and he shivered in glee. Rabbit. What a rare delicacy in ShadowClan, too.
The tom's eyes focused on the animal, nibbling at the roots of a bush by the Thunderpath. Dragonflyeyes crouched, unaware of the fact that monsters were still travelling at this hour. He darted forward, quick and low, to rip the rabbit's life out. It was his duty to feed and peotect his Clan... Even though he felt that he didn't belong anymore.
The rabbit was unaware until Dragonflyeyes cascaded down upon it with claws extended. Its beady eyes widened in terror and dashed across the Thunderpath, its actions cut short by the ShadowClan warrior who had hooked onto its haunches. The two tussled until the ground shook...
Distracted momentarily, Dragonfly looked up to see a monster bearing down on him, its eyes glaring balefully with flames in its eyes. The rabbit tore itself from the tom's claws and took off, its tail bobbing away into ThunderClan territory.
Finally regaining control of his legs, Dragonflyeyes sprang to his small paws and dashed into ThunderClan territory, his emerald eyes wide with terror.
After stopping and catching his breath, heart beating like a hammer against his ribs, Dragonflyeyes heard the loud sound of a crash. Timid, yet curious, he crawled to the edge of the treeline to see the monster wrapped around a tree, its Twoleg lying halfway out of its belly. Whiskers trembling, he edged forward until he was right next to the Twoleg.
Blood oozed quickly out of its chest, staining the ground a sickly red. Dragonflyeyes recoiled, afraid he was going to vomit at the sight. He turned away, trying to rid himself of that horrible image, and saw another cat huddled in the shadows. Is he dead, too?
Unsteady on his paws, the ShadowClan warrior walk up to the black and gray tom, worry in his voice. " Are you okay? " he mewed. Oh, please don't let him be dead!! he thought, panicked.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

The twoleg inside the monster was clearly hurt; Flightfall could smell the scent of blood wafting into his nostrils, gagging him. Was the monster still alive? Would it come after him if he dared move? Flightfall let out a shaky breath, shifting a bit in the bush and feeling the sharp branches tear at his pelt. The sound of pawsteps approaching made Flightfall tense, and barely under the reak of blood could he scent ShadowClan. There was no time for the cliche "get off my territory" act, no time to threaten the cat or unsheathe his claws. He was still in shock at what had happened just a few moments ago. At the sound of the tom's voice Flightfall raised his head, nodding timidly like a young apprentice at first as he stepped cautiously out of the bush. The gray tom shook stray debris from his pelt.

"I-I'm okay,"

[/color] he mewed, dipping his head toward the warrior. His eyes moved over to the destroyed monster. Steam was coming from the front of it, and the metal interior was completely twisted like tin foil. Flightfall flinched at the sight. "That was insane,"[/color] he murmured under his breath, allowing his pelt to lie flat now that he saw the monster was no longer a threat. He turned to face the ShadowClan warrior again, his emerald eyes studying the tom. He was no threat either. Clearly he was just as curious to the strange happenings as Flightfall was, and curious to be sure that Flightfall was even alright.

The tom took a few timid steps toward the wreckage, ducking his head and peering at the monster with wide emerald eyes. There would be no helping the twoleg, there was nothing that he could even do. Flightfall flattened his ears, wanting to get a closer look but fearing the sudden ressurection of the monster. He looked back at the ShadowClanner, wondering what he would do. Flightfall took a few more steps toward the twisted metal, when he felt a sharp pain in one of his paws. He hissed, looking down to see a piece of a clear, reflecting substance stuck in his pad. He growled, walking more carefully back toward the ShadowClan warrior, making sure he didn't step on any more of the glass. Blood trickled from the wound, feeling warm and sticky against his paw.

"Foxdung,[/color] he growled, trying to get a grip on the glass with his teeth. "Just my luck."[/color] Realizing that he hadn't introduced himself yet to the ShadowClan cat, he figured he may as well instead of just having him stand there. He didn't feel threatened by the other warrior at all. Why chase him off if he meant no harm? "I'm Flightfall,"[/color] he mewed, still focusing his gaze on his paw. "Can you help me out please?"[/color][/blockquote]

[~All I Need]

D R A G O N F L Y E Y E S
ShadowClan Warrior[/color]

Maybe we should burn the house down, have ourselves another fight...

... Leave the cobwebs in the closet; 'cause tearing them out is just not right.

[/color][/i]

The black tom watched as the ThunderClan warrior nodded and stepped out, still fearful and shocked about what happened. Many ShadowClan cats had come close to dying on the Thunderpath, so the Clan as one was more hardy and less terrified than ThunderClan was. They knew to stay their distance, too. Dragonflyeyes's recent incident was his own foolishness; he scolded himself for being so mouse-brained.

" I-I'm okay... That was insane.

[/i] "

The ShadowClan warrior didn't know whether the ThunderClanner meant the whole scenario or Dragonfly's mad dash across the Thunderpath, almost crushed flat by the monster's flailing paws, so he just nodded solemnly, his emerald eyes distant.

" Foxdung. Just my luck.[/i] "

The black tom pricked his ears and walked up next to Flightfall, curious. He sidestepped a large pile of glass and studied the other tom's paw. He blinked, trying not to let the nausea show in his face; Dragonflyeyes hated blood.

" I'm Flightfall. Can you help me out please? [/i] "

" Dragonflyeyes, " he mumbled bluntly.

Not answering Flightfall's second question, the small tom bent his head to examine the wound. Blood welled up around a jagged piece of glass, making the clear object appear red. Smaller bits of glass were embedded in the soft pads of the ThunderClanner. Gripping the edges of the glass shard in his jaws, Dragonfly tugged fiercely, taking the glass with him. He knew that it would hurt a lot; but that was the only efficient way to remove a glass shard. If you tugged too lightly on it or tried to wiggle it out, it would only cause more damage to the tissues around the wound.

He spat it out, tasting Flightfall's blood in his mouth. After looking at the edge of the road he saw red, blinking lights and heard quiet sirens that were fastly approaching them. Dragonflyeyes's stomach dropped. More Twolegs would be coming.

He looked back at the dead Twoleg and nudged Flightfall. They had to get out of here. There was no time for Dragonfly to get back into ShadowClan territory.

" We have to get out of here. I would like to ask permission to stay on ThunderClan grounds until it is safe for me to head back to my home. "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

Flightfall tensed as Dragonflyeyes leaned down and gripped the glass in his teeth. He knew that this would hurt; it hurt enough already witht he glass buried so deeply into his paw. Then came the pain. Flightfall bit down so hard on his tongue that the metallic taste of blood flooded his taste buds. He could feel the blood dripping from his paw now, and he didn't dare look down and see the damage. The tom timidly set his paw down, trying to put weight on it. He hissed and jerked it back up, allowing it to hang limply. He wouldn't be walking on that for awhile. Dragonflyeyes' nudge jolted Flightfall out of his thoughts. His ears pricked, hearing the apporaching sirens, and his emerald eyes picked up the sight of the bright red lights. He nodded at Dragonfly's request to stay on the territory, his pelt fluffing out as he imagined the ShadowClan warrior trying to manuever around all those twolegs.

"Sure,"

[/color] Flightfall mewed, beginning to limp off. He waved his tail, signalling for the tom to follow. "I expect you to leave as soon as the threat has passed, though. No hunting here either."[/color] Of course, he knew that the tom probably knew all of this already, but his deputy instincts were setting in. He had to be cautious with strange cats, or cats from other Clans. Flightfall limped rather rapidly through the trees, only relaxing as the sounds of the sirens lessened until they were dull background noise. They weren't too far into the territory; in fact Dragonflyeyes could probably walk back to the border on his own. With a sigh Flightfall stopped, allowing his eyes to scan over the forest in search of something that he definitely needed. Cobwebs.

He spotted them just a little ways away. Flightfall limped over to the sticky substance, gripping some in his jaws and attempting to wrap them around his injured paw. It stung and wouldn't stop the infection, but at least it would hault the bleeding until he returned to camp. An awkward silence hung in the air, and Flightfall found his eyes warily travelling to the ShadowClanner. Now that the shock of the whole situation was over, he found himself feeling just a small spark of distrust. Dragonfly was an enemy cat. The tom had helped Flightfall earlier, but now that they were deep in ThunderClan terra, Flightfall would keep his eye on Dragonflyeyes, and make sure he didn't get into anything or steal any prey.

The silence surrounding the two toms was slightly unnerving. Flightfall didn't like having enemies on the territory, unless of course he knew them. His mind drifted back to those days when he'd meet the young Gingerkit by the RiverClan border. He'd only just been made an apprentice. Flightfall hadn't seen the young cat since a few moons ago; she'd become a kittypet named Ginger. As of the present time, though, there was only one enemy cat that Flightfall would allow on his territory. Flightfall shook his thoughts from his mind, looking back at Dragonflyeyes."Thanks, for getting that glass out of my paw,"[/color] he offered, flicking his tail. "I've never seen a monster go off the Thunderpath."[/color][/blockquote]

[~All I Need]

D R A G O N F L Y E Y E S
ShadowClan Warrior[/color]

{ MAYBE WE SHOULD BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

[/size] }
{ HAVE OURSELVES ANOTHER FIGHT }[/center]

Dragonflyeyes watched as Flightfall flinched in pain, concern making his green eyes dull. It was now that he regreted pulling the glass out; it was better this way, though. The black tom flinched as Flightfall hissed as he tested putting weight on it. There was no way he was going to be walking on that for a while.

" Sure. I expect you to leave as soon as the threat has passed, though. No hunting here either.

[/i] "

Dragonflyeyes followed the ThunderClan tom, careful not to step on glass. He noticed how Flightfall was limping; Dragonflyeyes wanted to offer his help, but he knew that Flightfall would decline. " If I were to hunt, it would only be to give it to you for your hospitality, " the black lera mewed, sincerity in his statement.

Dragonfly looked at only his paws as Flightfall led him into ThunderClan territory, unwilling to study his surroundings like an enemy cat would do. Dragonflyeyes respected the warrior code, there was no doubt about it; yet he wished for less blood-shed, less violence. He wanted the Clans to not be so suspicous of each other. So he tried his best to not ruffle the fur of his enemy Clan cats.

The black tom was still staring at his paws when he noticed the unearthly silence hanging in the air. He looked up, unsure of what he would see. Flightfall was staring at him as if he were to attack him any minute. The ShadowClan warrior's pelt bristled slightly. What did he do to deserve such distrust from the ThunderClanner?

" Thanks, for getting that glass out of my paw. I've never seen a monster go off the Thunderpath.[/i] "

Dragonflyeyes nodded silently, keeping his eyes down. He didn't know what to do now that he was alone with this ThunderClan cat. Flailstar would claw his ears off if he knew that he was being such a mouse-hearted coward. Talking to enemy cats as if they were friends!! Pfft!


The tom looked back over his shoulder at the wreckage, his eyes clouded in shame. A group of twolegs had huddled around the dead one, mumbling incoherent laments. Another twoleg wept on its knees, craddling the dead twoleg's head in its awkward paws. Dragonflyeyes felt so guilty it made him sick. It was all his fault!!

" It's my fault that the twoleg is dead, " he mumbled, still staring at the depressing scene on the Thunderpath. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.[/i][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

Flightfall took special note of how Dragonflyeyes didn't study the territory, and how hospital his gaze was. Guilt clenched his heart when he realized how distrustful he'd been toward the warrior. He was clearly not a threat, and if he were he'd had plenty of time to try and catch prey or study the area, and with Flightfall's hurt paw he could do nothing about it. The silence had returned again, causing Flightfall to move his gaze to his injured paw. Blood was already starting to bleed through the cobwebs he had wrapped around it. A dull stinging caused him to constantly shift the wrapped paw, discomfort showing in his eyes. Stupid glass. He opened his mouth to speak again, probably to ask about ShadowClan, when Dragonflyeyes beat him to the punch.

"It's my fault that the twoleg is dead," Dragonflyeyes mumbled. Flightfall's ears pricked. The tom sounded sincerely guilty, like he really believed that it was his fault. How could it have been? What could Dragonfly have done to make the situation go differently. Flightfall was filled with empathy as he pondered the tom's words. How many times had he felt that way before? But then, it really was all his fault. Ivypaw, Rosethorn... Their injuries were his fault. Flightfall reluctantly allowed his emerald eyes to move toward the crash scene. The wails of the twoleg were clear in his ears, along with the screaming sirens. Flightfall flinched, removing his gaze from the wreckage. His heart went out to the poor twoleg, to the deceased one, to all of them. But there was nothing he could've done.

"No it's not,"

[/color] Flightfall mewed softly. "What could you have done? We're not twolegs; we wouldn't have known how to help him."[/color] Still, Flightfall felt guilty as well. Could he, or Dragonflyeyes, have done anything differently? And if they had, would the twoleg that caused many others to shed so many tears still be alive? Flightfall shook his head, trying to chase away those thoughts. It didn't work. Flightfall sighed, shakily getting to his paws and walking over to stand beside Dragonflyeyes, well more like he limped, but whatever.

"I know what it feels like, to feel this kind of guilt. But trust me, this wasn't your fault.[/color][/b] His words were true. Neither of them could've done anything to save the twoleg... right?[/blockquote]

[~All I Need]

D R A G O N F L Y E Y E S
ShadowClan Warrior[/color]

{ MAYBE WE SHOULD BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

[/size] }
{ HAVE OURSELVES ANOTHER FIGHT }[/center]

An artic wind gathered leaves in its arms and flung them across the forest, bending trees with its might. The sound of galloping hooves echoed off rocks and reverberated among the trees. Snow danced down from the sky, their white pelts glimmering, crystalized. Dragonflyeyes glanced up, shivering slightly. His stomach growled with hunger and his whiskers trembled. Right now, he was overcome with guilt and grief. The tom's black pelt was in stark contrast to the powder that was resting softly on the ground, muffling all sound. The warrior's green eyes were narrowed against the liquid that settled on his face.

" No it's not. What could you have done? We're not twolegs; we wouldn't have known how to help him.

[/i] "

Dragonflyeyes turned his downcast eyes on Flightfall, a miserable light turning the emerald to dull forest green. " There's always something you can do, " he whispered wisely. Was there anything I could do about Goddesspaw?[/i] he retorted silently.

Sighing and looking back up at the sky, the midnight black lera watched sunset turn the snow into drops of blood. Glancing at the wreckage, he noticed that the twolegs were gathering their dead comrade up in a black shroud and pack up his corpse in another monster. The female twoleg stood all alone on the side of the road, her head hung in a silent vigil.

" I know what it feels like, to feel this kind of guilt. But trust me, this wasn't your fault.[/i] "

" It's always my fault, " he replied, his voice lathered in sorrow.

Dragonflyeyes closed his eyes and hung his head, ears pressed flat against his skull.
" How do you know what it feels like to experience this grief? " he whispered, glancing at the ThunderClan cat. It was now he noticed that the other tom was standing next to him. Dragonflyeyes' mouth parted slightly and he looked back down at his paws, shame running up and down his spine.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

Was there always something you could do? Flightfall's emerald orbs looked away from the black tom, instead focusing on the wreckage yet again. He studied the poor female twoleg, taking in the way she just allowed her coat to hang there as the bitter wind blew by, not bothering to tighten around her body and warm herself up. She was just staring, just so very numb. Flightfall could practically feel her grief pulsing out of her body as the tears fell silently from her eyes. The tom sighed, digging his claws into the earth. If there was always something you could do, what could he have done to fix all of his past mistakes? He looked over at Dragonflyeyes at the sound of the tom's whispered question. Flightfall tensed up for a moment, his eyes moving to his paws.

"I had a friend,"

[/color][/b] he began slowly. "My best friend, actually. We were new warriors, and we were hunting when we smelled a rosebush. We decided to investigate, but the scent was strange. It dulled our senses and made us, tired, I guess you could say. I saw her trying to grab a rose and freaked out, thinking she'd get a mouthful of thorns, and I yowled for her attention. She fell into the rosebush and got thorns everywhere, her eyes, her whole body. I tried to get her back to camp, but she wanted to die. We argued about it endlessly, and she said something that made me snap. I said extremely hurtful words to her, saying that I wanted her to die, that I never wanted to see her, hear her, or scent her again. In the end I came back, though, and tried to help her out of it. She'd gotten up after awhile and made it back to camp. But she couldn't see me. I haven't seen her since that day, I'm not sure if she's alive..."[/color][/b] Flightfall stopped. He let out a ragged sigh, remembering Rosethorn, and wishing that things hadn't turned out that way.

I've taken back what I said time and time again,[/color] he thought to himself And nothing's changed.[/color][/i] He looked back up at Dragonfly, his eyes darker by the memories. "There are a number of other cats that I could bring up. I'm not going to pour it all on you, though. You've had your fair share of sorrow, I'm sure."[/color][/b] He looked away again, somewhat wishing that the tom would take over the conversation from Flightfall. He knew it was selfish, but he didn't want to dwell on his problems. He wanted to know that he wasn't the only one to feel this pain. Dragonflyeyes clearly had felt a lot of it; he could hear it in the tom's voice.

"What has happened to you that makes you believe that everything is your fault?"[/color][/b] Flightfall asked, turning his gaze to the ShadowClanner. "What makes you believe that there's always something you can do?"[/color][/b][/blockquote]

[~All I Need]

D R A G O N F L Y E Y E S
ShadowClan Warrior[/color]

{ MAYBE WE SHOULD BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

[/size] }
{ HAVE OURSELVES ANOTHER FIGHT }[/center]

The tom stared at the female twoleg, his heartstrings snapping at the look of misery on her face. A lingering twoleg walked by and lightly patted her on the shoulder and continued to walk to its monster where it clambered in and drove off, leaving the female alone on the edge of the road. The tom's face contorted in confusion. How could twolegs just continue with their lives when their own kind suffered heartbreak like this every day?

The twoleg's red hair lay plastered on her shoulders and covered her eyes. She was trembling, Dragonfly could see, but no tears were falling from face. The ShadowClanner knew what that was like; crying so hard until your eyes ran dry. You wanted to keep crying, but soon you would feel the dull blade of grief and grow numb and emotionless.

Suddenly wailing with her face lifted upwards to the sky, the female fell to her knees and screamed until her voice died out. Her pale hands worked and wrung out a piece of fabric that seemed to be her dead mates. Dragonflyeyes looked away; he couldn't see her, but he could still hear her anguished cries.

" I had a friend. My best friend, actually.

[/i] "

The black tom's ears pricked slightly, unable to keep the curiosity out of his eyes. Dragonfly noticed the past tense and looked down at his paws, already able to understand Flightfall's grief.

" We were new warriors, and we were hunting when we smelled a rosebush. We decided to investigate, but the scent was strange. It dulled our senses and made us, tired, I guess you could say. I saw her trying to grab a rose and freaked out, thinking she'd get a mouthful of thorns, and I yowled for her attention. She fell into the rosebush and got thorns everywhere, her eyes, her whole body. I tried to get her back to camp, but she wanted to die. We argued about it endlessly, and she said something that made me snap. I said extremely hurtful words to her, saying that I wanted her to die, that I never wanted to see her, hear her, or scent her again. In the end I came back, though, and tried to help her out of it. She'd gotten up after awhile and made it back to camp. But she couldn't see me. I haven't seen her since that day, I'm not sure if she's alive...[/i] "

It had grown quiet and the tom nodded silently at Flightfall. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as the red-head curled up on the frigid ground, her brown eyes staring sightlessly ahead. He sighed.

" There are a number of other cats that I could bring up. I'm not going to pour it all on you, though. You've had your fair share of sorrow, I'm sure.[/i] "

Dragonflyeyes looked back up at the ThunderClan warrior and held his gaze evenly. " Yes... Yes I have, " he whispered softly.

" What has happened to you that makes you believe that everything is your fault? What makes you believe that there's always something you can do?[/i] "

" I, too, had a friend. Goddesspaw was her name. I. . . I loved her; she claimed the same. I wasn't born a ShadowClan cat, I was born as a loner. Goddesspaw was the only one to accept me in the Clan after my parents' deaths. Every night we would lie under the stars, saying nothing for there were no words to express our emotions. But then, one night... " he broke off, his voice constricted in pain. No matter how many times he told himself that she was a master at deceipt, he knew that the truth was there all along. Dragonflyeyes turned his emerald orbs to look at the snowy heavens, small tears leaking out of his eyes. " One night I woke up and found her with another tom. The whole time I had been there she was using me to try and kill Dogstar. For some strange reason, I never found out the drive behind her wicked plan. But, in my fury, I killed her true love while my heart was breaking. She screamed at me until my ears bled, but...on the inside, my heart my bleeding. Goddesspaw told me she had never loved me; that I was only a pawn in her sick, sadistic game. Dogstar exiled her... I haven't seen her since.
" The whole time I had known, deep down, that all of her vows were nothing but scathing lies. " It was here that the black tom drew in a ragged breath. His eyes were distant with all of the memories that choked him. " Many say that fate tore her away from me. But I say that there is always something you can do. I could have let her love live and let her kill Dogstar... It would be easier for me to wake up each day knowing that she doesn't hate me with every fiber in her being.
" It's been moons now... But the pain is as fresh as if it happened yesterday. I'm sure that you experience the same thing. "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

Flightfall could see the understanding in Dragonfly's eyes. Although Rosethorn wasn't dead, at least Flightfall hoped that she wasn't, he hadn't seen her in ages. Still, he could remember the look on her face as she fired those horrid accusations at him. He could remember the pain he felt at what she said, and the fury as he launched his own stinging words right back at her. Did she hate him now? No. Deep down, he knew that she didn't hate him. That helped him sleep at night. But there were other cats who probably did hate him... ones that he'd hurt but hadn't meant to. Why did it seem that the ones he loved most were the ones who were hurt by him the most?

Dragonflyeyes's story made Flightfall feel a strong sense of empathy toward the tom. Having the love of your life hate you had to be more then painful. He looked at the warrior, his eyes filled with understanding. "But would you be able to live with the guilt knowing that your leader died because you didn't say anything?"

[/color] he asked, flicking his tail. "Would that have been worth it?"[/color]

" It's been moons now... But the pain is as fresh as if it happened yesterday. I'm sure that you experience the same thing. "

He nodded. "Of course. I miss her, I miss all the others I've lost to my stupidity or StarClan. It hurts every single day to not have my loved ones by my side anymore. I lost my brother and father when I was an apprentice, I've never met my RiverClan mother or sister, my apprentice, or former now, hates me. I lost my first love. I lost my best friend."[/color] He sighed, looking down at his black paws. "Sometimes I wonder what I have left to lose."[/color]

They were leading the female twoleg away now. Flightfall followed her every step with his emerald eyes as she was taken into a monster. Her pain was his. Every sob she uttered tore at his heart. What if the ShadowClan cat was right? Could they have really done something to help the poor twoleg's mate? Flightfall suddenly felt guilty. It was too late now to do anything. Maybe he could've tried to help the twoleg. He shook his head. No, there wasn't anything that he could've done. Even if there was, that was in the past now. The male twoleg was dead, and the female grieving. Flightfall looked up as the monster drove off. Most of the twolegs had left now, it would be safe for Dragonflyeyes to leave if he was quick. Still, it didn't seem right to send the tom off without anything after he'd helped Flightfall.

"The twolegs are pretty much gone now,"[/color] Flightfall mewed softly. "If you'd like some prey, you can have some. It's the least I could do for your helping me. I'd catch it myself but I'm a bit handicapped at the moment."[/color] He waved his injured paw, wincing from the movement.[/blockquote]

[~All I Need]

D R A G O N F L Y E Y E S
ShadowClan Warrior[/color]

{ MAYBE WE SHOULD BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

[/size] }
{ HAVE OURSELVES ANOTHER FIGHT }[/center]

Dragonflyeyes was aware of the life of the forest as they ran to their dens and nests. Squirrels lept gracefully from branch to branch as they ascended to the pinnacles of the trees where they could keep warm in their nests; reb-breasted robins hopped about, looking for the lasts nuts and berries of the season; even a lone turtle was heading slowly off to its den where it would hibernate until the spring thaw.

" But would you be able to live with the guilt knowing that your leader died because you didn't say anything? Would that have been worth it? "

Dragonfly chuckled a dry, humorless laugh. " Sometimes I wonder, " he whispered, " if I could live with my leader's death like that. And you know what? I wouldn't say anything if given the second chance; it would all be worth it to have Goddesspaw back, even if she didn't love me. You of all cats should know what love is like. Doesn't it make you feel like you don't know yourself? Doesn't it make you feel like you'd kill anybody for the one you truly desire? " He stopped and took a ragged breathe, feeling like his chest was constricted in pain. He remembered Goddesspaw's sea-blue eyes and her beautiful white fur... And the time when she broke his heart.

¤~

" Goddesspaw? "

Dragonflypaw rubbed his emerald orbs, trying to get the sleep out of them as he yawned hugely. The small black apprentice stretched, shivering as a chill wind blew in through the ShadowClan camp and into the apprentices' den. Looking around, Dragonfly could only identify Owlpaw, Treepaw, and Juniperpaw's sleeping forms; the nest next to Dragonfly's was empty. Though it was still warm and masked in Goddesspaw's scent, it was growing cold very rapidly. " Goddesspaw?! " he squeaked, feeling panic tightening his chest. The only response was the wind howling and whistling outside. Springing to his paws, Dragonflypaw flicked his ears nervously and padded out of the warm den.

Outside, the world was bathed in darkness; there was no moon in the starless sky. In the distance, the midnight-black lera could see the trees of ThunderClan territory bending practically in half as the wind screamed. Ears pressed flat against his skull as the wind buffeted his fur, Dragonfly searched the darkness for Goddesspaw's white pelt. " Where are you? "

" Over here, Dragonfly. "

The tom breathed a sigh of relief and padded to the entrance, his ears pricked. " What are you doing out here so late? " he whispered, his heavily accented voice slightly quivering. Something was wrong, he could tell.

" Planning the Clan's demise. "

~¤

" Of course. I miss her, I miss all the others I've lost to my stupidity or StarClan. It hurts every single day to not have my loved ones by my side anymore. I lost my brother and father when I was an apprentice, I've never met my RiverClan mother or sister, my apprentice, or former now, hates me. I lost my first love. I lost my best friend. Sometimes I wonder what I have left to lose.

[/color] "

Blinking his emerald eyes rapidly, Dragonflyeyes was relieved to find himself broken out of the heart-wrenching memory by Flightfall's voice. Looking up at the tom evenly, the ShadowClan warrior nodded, his thoughts slightly muddled. " You have your life to lose, " he pointed out. " You, too, also have experienced pain. It's an omnipresent thing, but sometimes it seems that some are unaffected by it while it crashes down on the shoulders of others. " He looked up at the sky, searching for the light of StarClan. But the clouds obscured the night sky, and Dragonflyeyes could not see the luminaries. " StarClan are supposed to help us; to me, though, they take from us and hinder us. "

" The twolegs are pretty much gone now. If you'd like some prey, you can have some. It's the least I could do for your helping me. I'd catch it myself but I'm a bit handicapped at the moment.[/i] "

Looking back at Flightfall, Dragonfly shook his head. " I can't take ThunderClan's prey. I didn't help you in the least; after all, it was me who almost got you killed. Besides, " he mewed, shrugging his shoulders. " I'm not hungry. "

The tom's stomach growled, making his hunger obvious. Dragonflyeyes sighed. " Well... Maybe just a little. "[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

tag; cinder!
muse; anybody got a noose so i can hang it?
notes; im speechless...
lyrics; promises by the cranberries

[/right]

[Cinder.and.Flightfall]

Flightfall

[/color][/size]

perfection's not guaranteed, cause i don't know what i need...

[/color][/left]

work in progress it seems, this is me.

[/color][/right]

Sometimes I wonder, " he whispered, " if I could live with my leader's death like that. And you know what? I wouldn't say anything if given the second chance; it would all be worth it to have Goddesspaw back, even if she didn't love me. You of all cats should know what love is like. Doesn't it make you feel like you don't know yourself? Doesn't it make you feel like you'd kill anybody for the one you truly desire?

With Dragonflyeyes lost in his own memories, Flightfall took the time to ponder the warrior's words. Would he honestly be willing to kill his leader for someone he loved? Would he be able to murder Brownstar if Rosethorn or Gingerflight or any of his close friends asked for it? Flightfall closed his emerald eyes, taking in a deep breath. No. Brownstar was his leader, she trusted him enough to name him deputy of the Clan. How was he even allowing himself to consider the scenario? How could Dragonflyeyes even think of killing his leader for this she-cat that didn't even love him? Well either way, it wouldn't happen to Flightfall. This whole situation wouldn't happen; no one he loved would ever dream of killing his leader.

But what if it weren't Brownstar? What if it were another cat, causing someone he loved harm? Would he kill for them then? Of course, Flightfall would kill for Rosethorn; she was his best friend. It didn't matter how far apart they were or how long it had been since they'd seen each other. Flightfall loved her. He'd kill anyone that caused her pain. And yet you caused so much of the pain in her life,

[/color][/i] he thought to himself, digging his claws into the dirt. Quickly he shook his head, listening as Dragonflyeyes spoke up again.

" You have your life to lose. You, too, also have experienced pain. It's an omnipresent thing, but sometimes it seems that some are unaffected by it while it crashes down on the shoulders of others. StarClan are supposed to help us; to me, though, they take from us and hinder us. "

"My life? It left when I lost all my loved ones. All I have left is my Clan, and I'm not going to abandon them. What kind of deputy would I be if I did? This pain though, the pain of losing everything, is always weighing me down in the back of my mind."[/color] He looked to the stars at Dragonfly's referance to StarClan. The gray and black tom shrugged his shoulders at the tom's accusations."StarClan can't control everything,"[/color][/b] Flightfall mewed, "I think it's silly, all these cats putting all of their fate in StarClan. Of course, they can do some things, but they can't control everything. They can't control who joins their ranks and when. They can only hope to warn us, in my opinion, and some cats are just too blind to see the signs.[/color][/b]

He looked up at the sound of Dragonfly's growling stomach. "Yes you did help me. I find that your getting the glass out of my paw was a big favor. Even if you caused the accident, I was the mousebrain sitting right next to the Thunderpath, staring out into space like an apprentice."[/color][/b] Flightfall's eyes looked further into the forest. Surely this kind warrior wouldn't cause any trouble. He'd done enough so far to gain Flightfall's trust. "If you say you're not hungry, then don't hunt. Just know that the land is open to you if you choose."[/color][/blockquote]

[~All I Need]

D R A G O N F L Y E Y E S
ShadowClan Warrior[/color]

{ MAYBE WE SHOULD BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

[/size] }
{ HAVE OURSELVES ANOTHER FIGHT }[/center]

Unfinished

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

tag; cinder!
muse; i strangled it
notes; ( /cough )
lyrics; promises by the cranberries

[/right]