The Gentler Tiger

[Blackie]

The sky was bright on the cold, leafbare day. The sun almost made up for the chill hanging over the river. It's brilliant blaze sliced through the few clouds and weaved through the willows to the frosted ground. The river gurgled and laughed, lapping greedily at the melting ice along it's banks. Sometimes, a clump of snow would break loose and ride the water until it became one with it. Bending over the rapids, a clump of plants had escaped their confining cages of snow. Stinging nettle. The plants were moldy around the leaves and crumpled, but the white and black striped cat wasn't looking for the leaves. He was looking for any left over seeds.

With the nettles having long since died, Tigerpaw didn't worry about getting stung by them. He stomped down a few shoots with one paw, smelling their tops experimentally. As he had expected, there were no seeds on the plants, but there might be some scattered nearby. Gently, the apprentice scooped up the snow until he could see the bare ground. With his teeth, he tugged some of the nettle stems out of the soil so he could see better before scraping the frozen earth with his claws. Slowly, his ears began to lay back in discouragement as it became more nd more clear that he wouldn't be finding any seeds. Oh well, he thought suddenly cheerful. This just means that everyone is going to have to be very careful not to get poisoned. Not having an antidote for it should be good motivation!

Purring, Tigerpaw stepped back from the patch into the snow. It really was a beautiful day. There were even birds flitting about, looking for catkins to nibble off the willows. The constant sound of the river was the only thing that bothered Tigerpaw. It was a very pretty sound, but it never stopped. Always bouncing, trickling, dripping, flowing. It seemed to brush the apprentice's ear fur and irritate him like a persistant fly. Even at camp, he could hear the streaming sound. The handsome cat glared at the water as if he were about to tell it to stop, when he caught sight of a bobbing green in the water.

Watermint!

It was almost too hard to believe that there was actually watermint in the middle of freezing leafbare, but Tigerpaw was grateful for it. The Clan could always use extra herbs. The white tom bounded through the snow to the bank where the water plant floated. The waves rocked it gently. Tigerpaw bent over it, stretching out a paw to scoop the plant closer to himself and onto dry ground. But as he lifted his paw over the crispy cold river, he paused.

Blue eyes intense on the water, Tigerpaw stared down. There was something there looking back up. It was the reflection of a cat, but not himself. Worried, the young medecine cat looked behind him and across the river. No one was there. When he looked back down, the reflection was gone. He couldn't even see his own face. How strange. The cat in the water had had blue eyes just like his, but instead of having a white coat with tiger stripes, the cat had been stormy gray and white. With a black mark above it's eye.

No way. You just imagined it, that's all. Shaking his head as if that would clear away anymore strange images, Tigerpaw continued to gather his watermint.

[~All I Need]

.hold on to me love.
.you know i can't stay long.
.all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid.
.can you hear me.
.can you feel me in your arms.[/size]

Scream... Scream... Scream... No one's going to save you...

Honeystripe had suffered so much from her family. Avarice and Hate had raised her to kill... A machine. But the she-cat didn't want to take another's life. Because of that... Avarice--her own mother--left her to die. After a day of bleeding on the RiverClan border, Honeystripe was then founded by Nighteye, a gentle senior warrior who was had one jet black eye. Sweet, old Nighteye died during the war with The Night. Though Honeystripe was a warrior at the time, she stayed behind with Lilyfeather to tend to the injured and the hurt.
But she still stayed quite cheerful. Even if the nightmares and the wounds in her heart still affected her, Honeystripe knew her purpose was with the Clan and to protect them.
And to also teach Tigerpaw and care for him as if he were her son.
That thought unnerved Honeystripe some. How could a medicine cat who wasn't meant to be one teach such an innocent youth to carry on if anything were to happen to her? Will he be able to live up to the code of the medicine cat? Will the pain of watching everyone else fall in love and not being able to fall in love yourself get to him?
Stop thinking such morbid thoughts... Find your apprentice and teach him skills he'll need as a medicine cat. That's your job. Not to think about what will happen. But to worry about now.
"Tigerpaw? Tigerpaw! Where are you?"
She bounded through the crisp and soaking snow to the edge of the river. The she-cat hadn't noticed her apprentice yet, but she stared into the water. Most of the water was iced over, but some holes had melted through and water sucked at the edges, thawing it ever quicker. It was then that the black water became red and blood became a geyser. The RiverClan medicine cat cried out and backed away. But the blood rose ever higher and came down upon her. Blood dripped into her eyes and down her throat and up her nose. She gagged and tried to clear it out of her system, but it poisoned her and she saw a group or nomads--including the Seven Sins--claiming the Clans' territories.
"No! It can't be...!"

[/color]
And then the vision was gone... Just like that.[/size][/center]

.holding my last breath.
.safe inside myself.
.are all my thoughts of you.
.sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.[/b]


{{Lyrics from My Last Breath by Evanescence}}[/size]

[Blackie]

Tigerpaw had the watermint on the frozen bank and was arranging it into a pile. He purred with satisfaction to himself. Honeystripe would be very happy with him. He didn't know why she would be so pleased; RiverClan wasn't moping around and dying for watermint. But something in the tom told him Honeystripe would be pleased, so it only made seen that he would find her happy. Which was why he was surprised when he found her quite unhappy.

At the sound of his name, Tigerpaw's head shot up and his paws stopped their work. He swept the surrounding area with his icy gaze, whiskers quivering with anticipation. He really wanted his mentor to see his find. He saw her some fox-lengths down the river, eyes intent on the breaking ice. The horror on her face frightened Tigerpaw. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. Abandoning the watermint, Tigerpaw began to pad carefully to her. He was walking slowly because Honeystripe looked entranced and he was afraid to disturb her in case she lashed out at him. But at the sound of her cry, Tigerpaw didn't hesitate to take the last few bounds to her.

"Honeystripe!" he mewed, panting from his sudden running spurt and fear. He swallowed, trying to control his ragged breathing. He put his paws on the wet ice and moved closer to the tabby. Gently, he pressed up against her and tried to lead her onto the bank. "Honeystripe, what is it? Come on, or you'll freeze your paws off." He was unable to hide the worry that rasped with his voice. What had frightened his mentor like that? Whatever it was, it was frightening him too. Mentors aren't supposed to get scared! Tigerpaw tried to look into Honeystripe's eyes. Softly, he mewed. He wanted her to know her behaviour was scaring him. He tried to control it though. Medecine cats have to be brave just like their leaders and deputies. He had to live up to his role in the Clan. He had to be brave. Gently, he nuzzled Honeystripe's shoulder and managed a quiet, but sincere, purr.

"Come on." he urged again, very quietly.

[/size]

[~All I Need]

.hold on to me love.
.you know i can't stay long.
.all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid.
.can you hear me.
.can you feel me in your arms.[/size]

The she-cat was stuck in her own world of blood and pain. How many times had she undergone Avarice's jubes? The blows? The suffering? Honeystripe was forced to take many lives... Or it would be her own. What kind of parent--what kind of mother would threaten her child's life? To force her into submission to follow through with your own, sick deeds? The she-cat wanted her mother and father and the rest of the Seven Sins to burn for all eternity. She didn't care about her karma, she wanted them gone.
"Honeystripe!"
The dazed medicine cat blinked her golden eyes slowly and focused on Tigerpaw's icey gaze. Why was he so scared? Was he hurt...?
"Honeystripe, what is it? Come on, or you'll freeze your paws off."

[/color]
The she-cat's beautiful gaze narrowed in confusion. The vision had sent her thoughts scattering and Honeystripe found it quite hard to regain her track of thought. What was Tigerpaw's problem? Did she do something wrong?
"Come on."[/color]
It was then that Honeystripe realized that her paws were in the freezing water and she looked down. If she could see her skin, it would probably be blue. After a moment of staring at her numb paws, she stepped back and sat down, staring silently into empty space.
Had the vision made Honeystripe snap?[/size][/center]

.holding my last breath.
.safe inside myself.
.are all my thoughts of you.
.sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.[/color][/b]


{{Lyrics from My Last Breath by Evanescence}}

[Blackie]

Tigerpaw gently led his mentor out of the river, glancing constantly at her face. Her silence was beginning to worry him. Was she still in a trance? What had she seen? His head burst with questions, but he knew better than to make any inquiries. At least, not yet.

After watching her sit down, the white apprentice began to groom Honeystripe's gold fur. Maybe the rhythm of his tongue would bring her back to reality. His tail began to twitch with uneasiness.









ooc: very short, no muse

[/size]

[~All I Need]

.hold on to me love.
.you know i can't stay long.
.all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid.
.can you hear me.
.can you feel me in your arms.[/size]

The RiverClan medicine cat's eyebrows knitted above her eyes into a crease. The worry and fear that shone in the golden orbs was enough to make a warrior feel uncomfortable. Her pearly whiskers twitched and she continued to stare into the dark water. Honeystripe's white-tipped tail twitched, also and she finally looked back up at her apprentice. The she-cat was quite small, so her apprentice looked more like her mentor. And with the way she acted, no wonder most of RiverClan looked down on her. They were all doomed to die if she kept acting this way. She had to be strong. For RiverClan, for Dragonstar, and most of all--for Tigerpaw.
The brown and golden tabby shook herself from head to tail and flicked the water off of her frostbitten paws. She got to work and licking them warm and looked back at Tigerpaw once she felt feeling come back into them. "You know,"

[/color] she purred. "I didn't fall in the river, by any chance."[/color][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

.holding my last breath.
.safe inside myself.
.are all my thoughts of you.
.sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.[/color][/b]


[Blah! No muse, either.]
{{Lyrics from My Last Breath by Evanescence}}

[Blackie]

She's going crazy.

That was the only logical explanation Tigerpaw could come up with for his mentor's strange behavior. Honeystripe had been weird before; nervous, quiet, quite the opposite of her curious apprentice. Yet, he had never seen her go into a trance and act like all the world never existed. This was just weird.

The white tom felt a small surge of relief as Honeystripe seemed to come back to her senses. Her eyes focused and she seemed to realize where she was. Tigerpaw nosed her shoulder, wondering if he should comfort her. "Are you okay?" he murmured anxiously. But she was already moving to warm up her freezing paws. He watched her, his tail twitching with frustration. What are you supposed to do when it looks like the medicine cat needs a medicine cat?

"You know, I didn't fall in the river, by any chance."

Tigerpaw looked up with delight at the sound of his mentor's voice. She was okay! she was speaking to him! She . . . What in StarClan was she talking about? Eyes narrowed with worry, Tigerpaw gave Honeystripe a long, hard look. Maybe she did go crazy.

"Um, fall in? I, uh, no. Erm . . . I found some watermint over there." the apprentice pointed at the place where the little plants were. Maybe the herbs would help Honeystripe come back to reality.

[/size]

[~All I Need]

.hold on to me love.
.you know i can't stay long.
.all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid.
.can you hear me.
.can you feel me in your arms.[/size]

Honeystripe looked at her apprentice when he nosed her in the shoulder. The emotions that swirled in her eyes were quite and odd mixture indeed. Fear, relief, humor, and a startling contrast of anger made her true feeling unknown. She was scared because of what she saw. Honeystripe was relieved because she created the logical reason that what she saw was only an illusion. Not a vision. And she was also angry at how Tigerpaw doubted her. Everyone else doubted her, now her apprentice did, too!
"Um, fall in? I, uh, no. Erm . . . I found some watermint over there."
The tabby gave the striped tom the same hard look he gave her. She could see the confusion and the worry there. But she also saw the same kind of look someone would give if they saw a nutcase get released from the asylum. Nice.
"Good. I'm glad you found watermint. We've been running short on that lately." Her voice was firm and slightly cold. It was about time her apprentice actually believed in her. But she had to talk to him about the prophecy. About what was going to happen to the Clans. "Set it all aside, though. Make sure it's in a nice, dry spot where it won't be too damaged. You and I are going to take a walk. I have to speak confidential topics with you. And it's about time that I start acting like the medicine cat that I am."

[/color][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

.holding my last breath.
.safe inside myself.
.are all my thoughts of you.
.sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.


{{Lyrics from My Last Breath by Evanescence}}[/size]

[Blackie]

Tigerpaw shrank under the look his mentor gave him. Obviously, he had done something wrong, and now he was going to hear about it. But what had he done? Honeystripe had looked as if she were going to fall head first into the river any second. She had looked like she'd lost her brains! What was so bad about trying to coax her back to the real world, even though the real world wasn't always much better than the fake one Honeystripe had been lost in.

"Good. I'm glad you found watermint. We've been running short on that lately. Set it all aside, though. Make sure it's in a nice, dry spot where it won't be too damaged."

The apprentice dipped his head obediently, scampering off to do his mentor's bidding. While he scooped up watermint, he tried to listen to Honeystripe, but his mind was wandering back to the reflection he had seen. Who was that cat? RiverClan didn't have any gray and white apprentices like the one he had seen, yet it had seemed so familiar. Like some one he knew extremely well.

"What? Talk?" Tigerpaw mewed, looking up sharply when he realized Honeystripe was still talking to him. "Talk about what?"

[/size]

[~All I Need]

.hold on to me love.
.you know i can't stay long.
.all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid.
.can you hear me.
.can you feel me in your arms.[/size]

The tabby watched her apprentice shrink under her withering stare. Immediatly, she felt quilty and sorry. But Tigerpaw had to learn that he had to trust in her. Everyone did. If not, Honeystripe would probably lose all hope and expectations of herself. And that couldn't happen, not now that she was the medicine cat. Unfortunately, everyone looked to her for guidance and wisdom and advice. She had to stay strong. She just had to.
The medicine cat watched her apprentice scamper away to conceal the watermint. She couldn't see his face since his back was turned to her, but the way that he moved gave Honeystripe the feeling that he was mulling over something. But the she-cat didn't want to get into Tigerpaw's business. Only when he would talk to her about it would she then pester.
"What? Talk? Talk about what?"
Honeystripe held back a sigh when her apprentice mewed, confused. He wasn't paying attention. Perfect. But there obviously was something on Tigerpaw's mind. What in the world could it be?
"Listen, Tigerpaw. You musn't tell this to anyone, do you hear? I recieved word from StarClan a few nights ago at the medicine cat meeting."

[/color][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

.holding my last breath.
.safe inside myself.
.are all my thoughts of you.
.sweet raptured light it ends here tonight.


{{Lyrics from My Last Breath by Evanescence}}

[Blackie]

Tigerpaw pricked his ears, finally interested in what his mentor was trying to tell him. The apprentice had not been to a medicine cat meeting yet. He was dying to go, mostly for the pleasure of meeting new cats and his fellow apprentices. The white tabby loved making friends, he couldn't wait to find out what sort of cats his new acquaintances would be. The half-moon meetings were also appealing to him because of the mystery that shrouded them. It made him shiver to think hat he would be apart of it, healing his Clan, interpreting signs, and listening to the whispers of the stars. Leaving the watermint, Tigerpaw bounded back to Honeystripe with a hungry look on his face.

"Words from StarClan? Like in a dream?" his blue eyes were alight with awe and his voice was taught with excitement. "What did they say? Was it important? Was it bad?" His demeanor clouded over with the memory of the incident that had happened not a few moments ago. Honeystripe had looked so terrified . . . "It's not bad, is it?" he mewed hopefully.

[/size]

[~All I Need]

{{ LOCK THE LAST OPEN DOOR }}
{{ MY GHOSTS ARE GAINING ON ME }}

"Words from StarClan? Like in a dream? What did they say? Was it important? Was it bad? It's not bad, is it?"

[/color]
Honeystripe watched her apprentice with a dark--yet sad--look in her eyes. Every emotion that flickered across the white tabby's face was imprinted in her mind. Like when one's eyeballs were seared and then if they closed their eyes, all they would see is that one, horrible moment. If only Tigerpaw knew the dangers of being a medicine cat... Of being a Clan cat. But she was glad that he didn't know of her past. No one did. And she wanted to keep it that, no matter how selfish it was. There was no need to let the Clan panic. The Seven Sins were gone. Even if it wasn't true, Honeystripe believed that if she thought that, then it would become true. Illogical, yes, but reassuring.
"Yes, it was bad, Tigerpaw. They said that a horrible threat is coming. The Clans will be left broken in a way. Emotionally? Spiritually? Literally? I don't know. Their message was so--was so vague. Even the other medicine cats had trouble figuring out what it meant. But I know the Clans will stay strong. Why do you think we are still here? I believe that we have a reason to still stay, even if the answer hasn't been shown to us."[/color][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Blackie]

Tigerpaw, so eager to hear his mentor's news just heartbeats before, shrank back in fear at what he was told. He was still too young and inexperienced to understand what such an ominous message could mean to their Clan. Death was a possibility and the greatest fear in his mind. Little did he realize that it would be a part of his duty to try and protect his Clanmates from death. It was frightening to think about, especially considering the lack of answer Honeystripe was able to give to him.

But I know the Clans will stay strong. Why do you think we are still here? I believe that we have a reason to still stay, even if the answer hasn't been shown to us."

"What if we're not strong enough?" Tigerpaw whispered. He didn't mean for his voice to quaver so much. He was scared now, truly frightened of this threat suddenly lurking before him. His mind was drawn to the cat he had seen in the river. Suddenly, this cat was very important to him and Honeystripe's message increased the importance of finding and meeting the cat Tigerpaw had seen. But not yet.

"What do we do?" he mewed, forcing his voice to stay steady and sound braver than he felt.

[/size]

[~All I Need]

{{ LOCK THE LAST OPEN DOOR }}
{{ MY GHOSTS ARE GAINING ON ME }}

The golden and brown tabby she-cat watched in cold calm as he apprentice shrank away, as if touched by a burning cattle prod. Her usually warm honey eyes were pieces of cold, golden flint. A darkness seemed to settle there, showing the importance of what she about to say. If Tigerpaw couldn't handle the truth of the world and the violence that resided in the hearts of many, then he had no reason to stay as he apprentice. If he coudn't take it, then so be it.
"What if we're not strong enough?"

[/color]
In a cold, emotionless voice. "We will be strong enough."[/color]
"What do we do?"[/color]
In that same tone, Honeystripe replied. "Then we wait, prepared and ready. And we will stay diligent and at hand to Dragonstar's and the Clans' bidding. That is the duty of the medicine cat, Tigerpaw. We are here to protect and heal and our Clanmates. Keeping them out of the clutches of death. StarClan will not accept them until they are ready. That is our job, Tigerpaw. Are you sure you can accept that?"[/color][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Blackie]

"We will be strong enough."

The way Honeystripe spoke sent shivers up Tigerpaw's spine. He had never heard her like this before. It was as if she were empty of herself with only a voice left in her body. She spoke automatically, giving words of encouragement that fell like icy stones in the apprentice's belly. Her words increased his fear and quickened his heartbeat. If they would be strong enough, why did she sound so hopeless? Did she mean to be that way, or was she even thinking about her words at all?

"That is the duty of the medicine cat, Tigerpaw. We are here to protect and heal our Clanmates. Keeping them out of the clutches of death. StarClan will not accept them until they are ready. That is our job, Tigerpaw. Are you sure you can accept that?"

As if she had physically struck him with her claws, the white tom flinched. Did she doubt him? Tigerpaw admitted he was scared. Any youngster suddenly faced with death would be frightened, but he was a medicine cat. Facing death was his job. Finally, he was realizing what he had asked for when he agreed to be apprenticed as a medicine cat. Perhaps he didn't have to take his claws and teeth against another cat, but when a cat was sick he would be the one expected to fight. When a cat died by his failure he would be the one at blame. He breathed in deeply.

"Don't worry, Honeystripe." he mewed unsteadily but very certain. "I can do this. I can take it, but . . . I'm scared. Is that okay?" He pleaded with his blue eyes for his mentor to give him real comfort and encouragement. He wanted the real Honeystripe to come back and tell him all would be well, he would be strong enough to fight. "Is it okay to be scared when you fight?"

[/size]

[~All I Need]

{{ LOCK THE LAST OPEN DOOR }}
{{ MY GHOSTS ARE GAINING ON ME }}

Honeystripe watched cooly as her apprentice flinched and writhed under her scathing words. It hurt her to see her apprentice doubting his own decisions, but it was her duty to help others now. And it was her job to pick the right apprentice who could take the pain of death and suffering. Maybe that was why Honeystripe felt secure with her new purpose: because she had suffered so much herself that nothing else would really hurt her. But was that Tigerpaw's duty? Was he ready for that kind of pain? The kind that settles in your mind and eats at it like a parasite.
"Don't worry, Honeystripe. "I can do this. I can take it, but . . . I'm scared. Is that okay? Is it okay to be scared when you fight?"

[/color]
The tabby's golden eyes softened, her spirit mollifying under Tigerpaw's pleading blue gaze. Immediately, she loathed herself for putting her apprentice under such an interrogation. She knew from the start that he was able to undergo the solitary life as a medicine cat. Even now, though, she still doubted the only cat that really meant something to her.
The she-cat bent to press her nose to the space between the white tom's ears. She murmured quietly in his ear, her voice saturated with warmth and a mother-like pride. " I'm sorry, dear Tigerpaw. I know you can do it. And it's okay to be scared when you fight.[/color] " Her eyes seemed to grow distant for a moment as she thought of all of the fighting she went through. The internal conflicts of her mind and the external conflicts of fang on flesh. But then they grew warm again and beautiful, leaving no trace of the old Honeystripe. The Honeystripe that used to be slightly cold and distant and horrified, this was the one that was gentle and kind and wise. " I have faith in you, Tigerpaw. As I have faith in StarClan and RiverClan.[/color] "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Blackie]

Seeing the returned warmth in Honeystripe's eyes and feeling her muzzle rest on his head put fresh strength in Tigerpaw and chased away most of his fear. Knowing his mentor trusted him was like biting into his first prey. She has faith in me as she does in StarClan! Pride flooded over the apprentice and he purred with delight. He would be the greatest medicine cat the Clans had ever seen. For Honeystripe, for Dragonstar, for his unknown parents; he would make them all proud. So what if he wasn't forest born? The ancient Firestar of ThunderClan had been a kittypet before he came to his Clan! Yet, there was still a nagging fear in the back of Tigerpaw's mind. He was surprised to find most of it wrapped around the water-cat he had seen.

"Honeystripe," he mewed, pulling away from her. "I saw something in the river just before you came. A gray and white cat I don't know." Tigerpaw's blue eyes went wide. Could his vision be a sign from StarClan? Where else could it have come from, mouse-brain? Jumping up with excitement, the apprentice blurted, "My first sign! Honeystripe, I got a sign from StarClan, didn't I? I really will be a medicine cat!"

[/size]

[~All I Need]

{{ LOCK THE LAST OPEN DOOR }}
{{ MY GHOSTS ARE GAINING ON ME }}

"Honeystripe, I saw something in the river just before you came. A gray and white cat I don't know."

[/color]
The small tortiseshell she-cat pondered this for a moment. A swell of pride rose in the Honeystripe's chest. Her apprentice's first sign! Though she had done nothing to bring Tigerpaw to this stage in his medicine cat life, there was no doubt that she was so proud of her apprentice. After all, it was her duty to raise the next medicine cat of RiverClan.
" Great job, Tigerpaw! " the she-cat purred fondly.
"My first sign! Honeystripe, I got a sign from StarClan, didn't I? I really will be a medicine cat!"[/color]
" But being a true medicine cat isn't all about receiving signs, Tigerpaw. It's about interpreting them. What about this sign touched you? Did it rouse a long forgotten memory? or did it make you feel doom or trepidation? Think, my apprentice. For this is your sign, not my own. Sometimes the path as a medicine cat has to be tread alone. "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]