Ļįps of Đєąŧħ

[~All I Need]

OPEN ONLY TO SHARD AND MEER

[/b][/size]

... Caged up in what you would call a memory that can never be forgotten ...

{ I'M IN THE BUSINESS OF MISERY }
{ LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP }

The softest sigh. The quietest breath.
The orb in the sky did not loosen its deadly torture on the land below. Plants withered in the heat; all traces of water sapped from their stems. Water seemed to evaporate before your eyes as you bent to consume it. The relentless torridity leeched the breath out of a tom as he padded across sharp stones that cracked under his weight. Traces of clay had washed up on shore, staining the dry beach a sickly red. Today was excessively sweltering.
Slightly panting, his pelt soaked with sweat, the tom bent to lick a few hasty drops from the river. A cold, icy hand gripped his insides and he shivered with glee. After gulping a few more mouthfuls, he straightened up to inspect his surroundings. A ThunderClan patrol was nearing the border, their pelts dusty from the lack of moisture in the air. The RiverClan tom watched as they drank their fill and walked away to continue marking the borders. One apprentice, a tom named Pumpkinpaw--no doubt as crazy as everyone said he was--looked back at Shadowfire and waved his tail in acknowledgement. Shadowfire bared his teeth and clawed at the fragments of stone he stood on. With a silent gasp of surprise the ThunderClan apprentice bounded faster to keep up with his Clan seniors.
" Good riddance, " he hissed sullenly. After standing there for a few more minutes--looking for any other telltale signs of patrols--the dark tom snorted disdainfully at the thought of ThunderClan and trotted on. Just the sight of that ignorant, ThunderClan apprentice roused memories in Shadowfire's mind that he didn't want. They were just so intrusive. Bringing up memories of her... Those beautiful amber eyes... That sightless gaze that had always captivated him, allured him...
" Don't think about her! " he screamed. So sudden was his reaction that a mourning dove took flight, emitting a cry of alarm. Caught up in a tidal wave of rage, Shadowfire lept at the bird and pinned it to the ground. With incoherent cries of fury and sadness, Shadowfire blindly tore at the bird until his claws dripped with blood. Well, hell,

[/color] Shadowfire thought acidly as he examined his ruby claws. I can't bring that back to the fresh-kill pile. Might as well eat it right now.[/color] Sighing resentfully, Shadowfire pressed his lips of death to the still-warm fresh-kill. The scent of blood and death was strong, metallic. Shadowfire retracted from the dead bird, his thoughts reeling. One memory in particular was cognizant, bringing the bittersweet feelings with it.
At the time he was just Shadow, flitting out of range of the Clan cats prodding eyes much like one. But, as always, there was one exception: Shard. He remembered how he stood at the loner borders, only a few inches from her lovely form. Blood was strong in the air as she dumped a dead Clan cat at his paws. What...? Why was she doing this?
" Come with us, Shadow. Join Bloodlust and never worry again. You will be protected and...and loved. "
The tom's steely gray eyes snapped open. " NO! " Scrabbling to his orange paws, Shadowfire fled towards the loner terras, his mind not quite understanding where his paws were going.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

Two amber orbs shone like that of the deathly hot star about the. Their master, a midnight creature, stood proudly on the root of the willow tree. As if it was defying the sun itself. Rebelling against the giant's reign over to forest, over the morning, over the world. " Mother... " The creature twisted it's head; three more creatures has arrive. The one who spoke was a tabby colored creature, my bigger then the other two. It's green orbs were the same shape as the midnight creature's; yet seems so much more enlightened. Besides the tabby creature was a beautiful tan creature; it's eyes were smaller then it's kit. Their color was only a shade deeper then it's short pelt. Lastly was a small white creature, it's eyes were narrow. Making it's orbs look midnight black.

" Hoshi; what is it?" Shard's voice was soft, kind. It had been a while since she had last seen Stitches. So slowly her insanity was returning back to normal. Why did she go insane at the meeting of the black tom? Because to many mates had walked in and out of her life. To many of them had hurt her, had betrayed her, had killed her; why should she trust any tom? Hoshi's green orbs seemed to relax when he listen to her kindness in his mother's voice. Hoshi had been named by Cujo, one of Shard's old mate. Hoshi , out of all the kits, was the only to know that Cujo wasn't really their father. Yet he still kept the name the tom gave him in remembrance of the happiness it borough his mother. " an intruder had been spotted, we were going to take it on by out selves. Yet we lost it when Serpent was bickering about taking it out by herself".

" Hey! Shut up you mousebrain! I wasn't bickering! If you weren't ratbitten you would have seen that I could have taken it out all by myself!!"

" You are giving me a headache "

" WHAT DID YOU SAY PUNK!! "

" Punk? I am your older brother. You can't call someone older then you punk "

" C-come on; don't f-fight "

" Enough; Lullaby, you search to the west lands; Serpent, try tracking his sent from the South lands. If he was a clan cat he should have crossed our south border. Hoshi; you go to the east lands. I will check around our north border " Shard said, tough but lovingly. As if her kin's fight humored her. Serpent bowed her tan head; " Of corse " with that , all three children raced off to find the intruder. To find him first and to bring his dead body to Shard. To prove to her that they were the best child.

Shard listened as the foot steps of her beloved children disappeared before running towards the North. It only took a few minutes for Shard to relined the sent of the intruder. Shard's eyes grew wide with surprise, she hadn't seen him in such a long time. The thought of him made her heart hurt; it made her think back to her apprenticeship. Trying to prove to Brownstar that even though she was quite, shy, and blond. She could be as good as any other warrior. Shard follow the trail, trying to figure out where he was going. Then took a shortcut to cut off the tom. Jumping out in front of him; Shard's amber eyes stared into the darkness what was him. " Shadow; it has been a long time "

[Meerful]

Meer,,

save your scissors for someone else’s skin,
My surface is so tough, I don’t think the blade will dig in

yes, yes i did make that!

[Forgive me, I’ve lost my knack on Meer, so this may be a little OC.]

’I wish it was easier to knock someone into a never-ending coma’ Meer thought, her mind tracing back to earlier that morning when a tom had annoyed her to such an extent, it was absolutely ridiculous. In the end she has just flung herself at him without warning and sliced him open until he bled profusely. Stumbling away, he shot profanities at her and she just watched with hooded eyes, a purr of amusement in her throat.

She wished she had killed him, though. Although Auseek no longer threatened her and made her hunger for blood, murder was still something she couldn’t help but yearn to do. Something about the power of being able to end a life just made her fur tingle. It made her feel powerful, whereas, her whole life before the forest, she only felt weak and insignificant. She had meaning here, she was a mother, and a mother-to-be, and a grandmother, and quite possibly a soon to be great-grandmother. It kind of made her feel old, but youth was present in her appearance, her fur still deep rich golds and tans, with the ever-present stripes of dark brown. Her eye held the wisdom of a cat who had seen more moons than her. Meer was fierce, Meer was strong. Nothing could bring her down.

Meer had only one weak spot: Shard. Yes, Skull meant the world to her, but she’d lost a mate before, she could do it again, as long as she had her Shard. Shard meant more to her than her own life, than anything that she’d ever come into contact with.

Shard was her sanity, her life, her heart, her hope, her very existence.

It was highly possible that Shard didn’t know the extent of purpose she had in Meer’s life, but Meer knew, and that was enough, enough to make it all worthwhile. Meer would go to the end of the world and back just to be with Shard, to give her the support she needed, to help her, to protect her, and to just to spend time with her. Shard was her sister, in a way, and nothing could ever replace the spot in Meer’s heart that she inhabited.

Swollen with unborn kits, Meer’s stomach jutted out like a basketball, causing her to walk all wobbly and lopsided, but nonetheless, she was still a formidable hunter, opponent, and supporter. Against her own beliefs, she ate regularly to feed her kits, groomed her fur more than necessary, just to make sure she didn’t get sick. Her kits meant as much to her as Shard, but in a different way. Her instincts made her love them, her own mind made her love Shard.

Waltzing around clan territory was her favourite past time. Who wouldn’t want to break all the rules? And better, it would be a nice change to have a good fight, especially with those stupid clanners. They were much feistier than any ol’ loner. Most of the loners were BloodLust now anyway, so she didn’t want to fight them. They respected her, Skull, Shard, and other cats. She was wanted there, she belonged, and it made her heart swell. As dark and cruel as she seemed, she was a real lover, and a huge softie.
Suddenly, snapped her head up, her eye peered endlessly through the jade forest, a scent drifting past, one not unfamiliar.

Shard, the very subject of her thoughts. What a coincidence.

Ignoring the other scent that caught her attention, she creeped forward, her weight barely being put on her paws as she planned to sneak up on Shard and tackle her, laugh at her surprise, and shower her with the licks a mother would give her kit.

Carefully, she avoiding anything that might blow her cover, her ears slicked flat against her head, and her tail curled around her so that it wouldn’t lash unexpectedly and ruffle any of her surroundings. Her tongue swiped across her mouth with anticipation, her good eye gleaming with amusement at the prospect of seeing her favourite cat.

Ducking under a bit of bramble and side-stepping a clump of heather, she leaned down into a crouch, feeling that Shard was near. Her haunches trembled ever so slightly as she prepared to fling herself forward. Making sure her claws were sheathed, she gathered all her strength, and pounced, front paw extend to catch Shard and pin her on the ground with her weight, and the added weight of her pregnancy. The air whistled past her ears as she flew forward, impact inevitable.

=] awww Meer is so cute
the post kinda sucks, i know, just bear with me :]


ERRR do you guys know that Niche has a daughter named Flare?!

[~All I Need]

... Caged up in what you would call a memory that can never be forgotten ...

I'm in the business of misery, let's take if from the top.
She's got a body like an hourglass, and it's ticking like a clock.

The scent of ambrosia and glass fragments...
Shadowfire knew who was there before she became present in his eyes. All of the memories he had shut out, they came back with a vengance. He had tried so hard to get rid of her...to rid himself of her presence. It had always lingered...but it was never this present. So painful...so powerful...
" Shadow; it has been a long time. "
The tom's eyes widened and he backed away, pelt bristling. No...no, no, no! It just wasn't her. Everything had been said, everything had been planned. She had said she never wanted to see him again because of Cujo...So why was she here, with him? Though seeing her again made the hole in Shadowfire's chest burn and ache, he couldn't help but feel enlightened and blissful. He had missed...Shard--wince--so much... And here she was.
Shadowfire was glad that she couldn't see.
Pain grew in his eyes as his eyes greedily took her in again. They first took in her face, lingered there at her beautiful amber eyes, and traced every midnight hair and contour of her lovely paws and the way her lovely tail curled high over her head like a banner. God help me... I can't ever leave this piece of heaven I have obtained...

[/color]
" S-S-Shard, " the tom choked out with tears in his throat, " it has...been a long time. So long... But not... long enough. " He choked out the last two words with emotion clogging his windpipe. Shadowfire thougth he might suffocate with all of the nameless emotions that surged up in him. All of the scars that had been inflicted upon him just healed without a trace in Shard's prescence. " It has been far too long without you. "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

It's a matter of time before we all run out.
When I thought he was mine
She caught him by the mouth

[/font][/center]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

Shard's eyes grew soft at the voice of her lover. A longing to curl up into the tom's chest was almost unbearable. His voice was so hard; yet so comforting at the same time. Her love for this tom; for her lost son; her love for the happiness he brought her. All of it seemed like so far away now. " S-S-Shard, it has...been a long time. So long... But not... long enough. It has been far too long without you. " Oh how much Shard wanting to comfort him. To cover him with love; to feel his pelt on her's. His breath on her's. The black lera felt like an apprentice again; the nervousness replenishing her body, her kind spirit not wanting to hurt anyone ever again, and then she was knocked over by a flash of tan.

Blinking, Shard felt the whole world around her spinning. Now that she had been knocked off her paws; she didn't know which was was north or south. She didn't know if she was up or down; or if she was even alive. She was like a turtle who had been knocked over, trying to get back up ( ooc= xD Is Shard to turtly for the turtle club : D ) This made her sick to her stomach and fear pulsed through her body; suddenly the pulsing stopped at the familiar sent that washed over her. " M-Meer? " The lera squeaked out; she sounded more like Lullaby then herself.

Shard quickly located a few markers that helped her regain her since of direction before getting up to look towards Shadowfire. Meer was one the only cat alive ( besides Shadowfire ) that knew of her love for the tom and her begotten son ( ooc= that's right Meerful. YOU HAVE TO KNOWLEDGE!!! : D ). The she-cat shook herself off; wobbling in both embarrassment and fear of hurting Shadowfire more then she already has.

Shard's eyes trialed down to where her paws were; still feeling a bit nauseous. It took a few more minutes for Shard to regain herself. To stand tall again, and for the shyness that had someone escape to be locked once again in steal chains. " You are a clanner; you can not change who you are '' the words hurt to say; it was easy to tell by the pain that stabbed her amber orbs. " We could have never been; even a kit could see that..."

"... How is Flare?"" Shard asked. Thinking back at the thought of her son; how beautiful he felt. Flare, Lullaby, Hoshi, and Serpent. All of them were so fragile. She felt so much love for all of them, it was unbearable to give up Flare. Yet, Shard didn't want her mate to be alone. She wanted him to be happy; for Flare to be his best friend just as her children were to her.

[~All I Need]

S H A D O W F I R E
Heartbroken RiverClan Warrior[/color]

Whoa, I never meant to brag. But I got him where I want him now...

... Whoa, it was never my intention to brag, to steal it all away from you now.

[/i]

Shadowfire was nothing but a poor, heartsick lover as Shard's soft voice caressed his ears with tender fingers, stroking his back with a delicate hand, filling his heart to the brim. Everything that had been said disappeared into oblivion as he continued to stare at her with a hunger unimaginable. All of the scars that had overlapped his fragile heart died with a sigh as soft as a feather. A heavy burden that had lain on Shadowfire's chest lifted, taking all of his hate with it. All of this time he was nothing but a bottle, harboring a sea of sickness and agony that slowly tore him from the inside out.
Shard was the only thing he could see until a mottled tan creature threw her off her paws. In a matter of breathless moments, Shadowfire recognized Meer, his stomach tightening at the sight of her. During the time he knew her, the striped tom knew Meer as only a friend. He was one of the few besides Shard and Bloodlust who could look at Meer as if she were a living being. Shadowfire was relieved to see Meer after all of these moons, but trepidation came hand-in-hand with this odd feeling. It was already too much to take with Shard there; why was life being so cruel?
The tom bit his tongue to keep from saying anything as Shard lay dazed on the ground; he had bitten too hard and blood spilled like a fountain in his mouth. What if Shard was hurt? Just the thought of that made Shadowfire blanch under his fur. He wouldn't live another day if his true love was hurt. If she died...? Was there anything worse than death, more final? Sad to say, there wasn't.
" M-Meer? "
Shadowfire sighed, releasing the breath he had held far too long. A black sheet crept in the corners of his vision. He blinked rapidly, trying to chase away the haze. Again, Shard's voice whispered like a melody in his ear, making him calm and stare drowsily at the two she-cats. All he wanted was to lay down by Shard and close his eyes, falling into slumber listening to her heavenly purr. His chest swelled with unshed tears; every part of him felt like it was going to rip from the pressure.
" You are a clanner; you can not change who you are. We could have never been; even a kit could see that...

[/i] "
Shadowfire could have seen the agony in Shard's eyes, but all he saw was the sea of hatred in him surge into his vision, clouding it. Surely no living being could suffer this much in their entire life? He remembered the nights where he would lay next to Shard under the stars, naming the constellations. It would be on nights like these that he would tell her about his family, about how his father was a hateful and spiteful creature. Recalling how he was abused and neglected until his instincts told him to do only one thing:
Flee.
He told Shard about Apparition. He explained to her that he didn't care for his mate. Shard had only said that what mattered was them. And the way she said it made it seem like that they could be possible. Now he saw the horrible truth that all she said was a wicked, wicked lie. [Ooc= omg, he is sooo adorable! Shadowfire and Shard should be together!! Screw Stitches!! ( /kills Stitches )]
" It seems to me that some can change, " he hissed, all of the rancors against Shard building in his lovely voice. It wouldn't have been believed before that such hatred could come from such a beautiful voice.
" ... How is Flare?[/i] "
Shadowfire bared gleaming teeth; lips c o c k e d back in a wicked snarl. What does he matter to her? he thought acidly. " He's just like you; as vile and pathetic as you. Always lying and undeserving of my love. You gave him up, Shard, why bother caring about him? I stopped loving Flare the second you dropped him at my feet claiming that you didn't care to keep him. You kept the others, why not him? Did he remind you too much of me? I'm guessing that you didn't care to love him, just like me. Shard; you are as heartless and evil as they say you are. " he hissed, pain lathering his melodic voice. " Besides that, " he sneered. " he's just fine. "
Why not inflict the same pain upon her?[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

( ooc= YESSS ( / ships Stitches away ) COME BACK SHADOWFIRE! SHARD NNEEEEEEEEEDDDDDSSS you! )

Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang; the song of Shard's heart beating at a wistful pace as she took in everything she could about the dark tabby. The way he smelt of the river; fresh, earthy, and soothing. Her heart beat for his beautiful voice; that always reminded the she-cat of the songs birds sang. The way his pelt could warm her entire being on the coldest of nights. The wistfulness that had laced itself around Shard's heart slithered up towards her amber eyes. Causing the pain to be replaced by a look of longing and melancholy. Shard really was a simple adherent; following the path Shadowfire lead.

" Have it. He reminds me too much of you. I don't want it. " The thought of his fragile tom-kit Shard gave to her mate brought back recollections both good and bad.

<3

Shard listed in horror as her friend fought the tom. The female could hear her kits winning for her to come back. They were already named; each one based on what Cujo said they looked like. Yet where was the brown-and-white tom? His sent was missing; did he run away when Meer got into her ferocious battle? That sounded like him. Shard mistook loneliness for love when she met Cujo. All she wanted to do was to be love and love in return; that she would have accepted anyone. Yet; now that Shadow was back. She didn't have to love him. Of course; Shard really didn't know how to break it to the brown and white tom. She couldn't just say she loved someone else could she?

Quickly Shard scrambled back to her kits; picking up Kat and Tails while pushing along Hoshi. She had to get out of Meer's way quick, before she ended up in the battle. Soon the four cats made it out of the crimson scorched scene.

The moon had starting to set; sending rays of pink colors echoing around the territory. A little layer of golden was beginning to show above the horizon. Shard set her children down and push them all close to her stomach. Hoshi took up most of the room; already as big as an small apprentice, next came Kat; who was about normal sized, then Tails; who was very small compared to her older kin.

Shard listen as the kits suckled; padding her own soft underbelly to circulate the milk. Suddenly another pain his Shard hard; the intoxicating sent of milk made it hard to breath and made the black she-cat's stomach lurch. The sent of another kit came rumbling forwards; along with the loss of both pain and weight. Shard sniffed about; trying to find what had happened. Her nose touched something wet and slimy. It was a sack of flesh; cover with her own blood. The black-she cat nip the sack; clear water-like fluid dripped around her paws. mew. Out of pure instinct; Shard began to lick the little kitten; her little secret.

The kitten was orange and white; not that Shard could see him or anything. This kitten was smaller then even Tails. He was as small as a mouse; and stopped mewing after Shard had licked dry. The awful feeling of fear made the midnight cat shake; she pulled the multicolored kit closer to her stomach. Trying to get him to eat; but the kit did nothing. " Please, child, please eat " Shard pleaded, yet the kit did nothing. Shard felt as if her heart stopped beating; for even the thought of loosing one kit was to unbearable for one desperate for love. " How about I give you a name? " the kit began to suckle. This made excitement twirl through her body. " You will be my little secret " she whispered to the tiny kitten.

Suddenly the thought of loosing any of her kits made Shard crazed; she had to get out of the forest! She couldn't let anyone touch her kits! " We will run away; I won't let anyone take any of you away from me! " this love amazed the fae; never had she experienced anything like it. " it is almost overpower " she thought - and then it came to her. Her love from these kits was like a fire; readying to burn down the whole forest to protect them; and all fires starts with a single... " Flare; that is a lovely name "

<3

" It seems to me that some can change, He's just like you; as vile and pathetic as you. Always lying and undeserving of my love. You gave him up, Shard, why bother caring about him? I stopped loving Flare the second you dropped him at my feet claiming that you didn't care to keep him. You kept the others, why not him? Did he remind you too much of me? I'm guessing that you didn't care to love him, just like me. Shard; you are as heartless and evil as they say you are. Besides that he's just fine. "

Shard could hear her heart shattering into a million pieces. " M-Meer... may Shadow and I speak alone " she asked; trying her best to stay calm. The black she-cat waited until her friend was gone before speaking again. " What are you doing here, Shadow? " she asked, her voice cold and emotionless.

[~All I Need]

{ WILL YOU WALK ME TO THE EDGE AGAIN }
{ SHAKING, LONELY, AND I AM DRINKING AGAIN

[/size] }[/center]

Shadowfire watched as Shard's eyes filled with a wistful glow. Just like the dark moon was pulled to the sun--the most powerful luminary of them all--he was pulled to his lover, also. The pain, the agonizing pain, shredded the tom's heart with serrated teeth. All of the pain became a part of his bloodstream and ran through him, seeping quickly into his limbs. This pain made his heart skip as he took a few steps towards Shard; besides, how could a drug addict resist the tempting relief the drugs always gave him?

Gritting his teeth, Shadowfire dug his curved claws into the ground and looked away, jaw clenched. He knew how Shard could hear and feel others hearts, so he thrust all of the hate he could muster upon his heart, making it beat strongly with poison residing in the atriums. His cold eyes became frigid, containing all of the pain and fear he had felt. The way Shard composed herself reminded him strongly of Flare...

~¤

Shadow's eyes were empty of emotion as he padded quietly under the safe canopy of the forest, a small bundle of fur swinging from his jaws. Flare; all of the pain and misery put into such a small, insignificant name. Shard had named this kit, pretending to love it along with Shadow; then changing her mind to free herself of their burden.

The kitten squealed, yearning for the soft belly of his mother, the warm milk scent of Shard... Shadow growled and clenched harder on the kit's scruff, making it whimper in torture. The tom smiled, glad that that made him feel better. Of all of the kits that Shard had to give him, it had to be the weakest; what a pathetic runt.

Shadow set Flare down unceremoniously, unsure of what to do. He couldn't take care of this kit; he had never felt a paternal urge because of his upbringing. What to do? Maybe he could leave Flare alone in the woods; such an easy meal for a fox or badger.
Looking at the small bundle, Shadow realized that he couldn't bring himself to murder his mistake. No matter how much he wished for Flare to not exist, he loved him.

It was the first and only time that Shadow looked upon Shard's kit and pressed his muzzle to the downy fur lovingly.

~¤

He blinked his eyes, wondering why he even bothered to keep Flare alive. Shadowfire had put too much energy into making Flare miserable; was he really worth it? Shard didn't want him, Shadowfire didn't want him; did anybody?

Yes, Flare was loved by those in his Clan.

He saw the way Surfpaw and his son looked at each other, a brotherly love in their eyes. Flare never did know his real siblings, would he ever? Thymeheart. The young she-cat who was always by Flare's side. Shadowfire could see the love that was in Flare's eyes every time he look at her. Was the feeling being returned?

Even Dragonstar and Honeystripe had shown concern during the Clan ceremony. Flare had used his charm on them as he did with Shadowfire.

" M-Meer... may Shadow and I speak alone?

[/i] "

Shadowfire watched as the she-cat left, trepidation nestled in his chest at the thought of being here alone with Shard. How long had he dreamnt of this moment? How long had he yearned for the moment when he would once again have a place in Shard's heart.

" What are you doing here, Shadow?[/i] "

The tom lashed his tail, still frozen to the spot where he had buried the claws in his fury. He looked back at Shard, his face contorted and his eyes narrowed into two slivers of silver.
" What does it matter to you, Shard? " he hissed. His voice mollified a little bit as he said " I was searching for you... To ask you; why? Why did you decide that I mattered no more, Shard? Flare would have been better off with you...my love, " he whispered the last two words.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[Meerful]

// lawl, meer just left. //

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

The raven femme stood aghast at the sound of Shadow's heart beat. It was filled with pure abhorrence; pulsing venom into the body of the dark tom. This hatred could clearly be heard as Shadow began to speak; his harsh words clawed the fae's insides with acrimony. " What does it matter to you, Shard? I was searching for you... To ask you; why? Why did you decide that I mattered no more, Shard? Flare would have been better off with you...my love. " The hatred was twisted with the lugubrious sound of depression. " my love "

The fae stood still; not quite knowing what to say in response. Shard stared morosely at the tabby; wishing she could see so she knew for sure what emotions the tom was truly feeling. " Why search for me; you could have found me in Flare " Her voice was feeble; haunted with a distant look. " Your love was nothing more then an illusory lie " she hissed abruptly; amber orbs glaring with the same hatred the laced foolishly around the other feline's heart.

The femme felt trepidation overthrow her; making pure terror build up in her frail being. The onyx loner twisted her lips back to bare her ivory fangs at the Riverclanner. " Love is something that can never be broken. I thought you loved me. That night we met ...when I was a stupid apprentice. " Now her own trepidation and hate was being laced with despondent. Her voice sounded hollow; as if she was doing all she could from crying rivers of her own tears. " I loved you more then you can ever imagine; then you left. "

The she-cat pulled her fox-like tail around her body. Trying to give herself some form of comfort; " I was so heart-broken and lonely; I would have accepted anyone as long as they pretended to love me. That is when I met Cujo. He said he loved me; and I didn't care if he really did or not... soon enough you decided you wanted me back. I was thick with the thought of starting a family with you. I should have know I was meaningless to a great cat such as you "

" I had your kits; just as I promised to do.. and I was actually going to tell Cujo that they weren't his kits...." The distances returned to the femme's voice; emotionless coming back. As if the struggle over Shard's own emotions had finally been won. " Yet then I saw what happened to Meer and her mate; how they fought- and how her kits got taken away from her. I couldn't let that happen; so I went looking for Cujo... and he had ran. He betrayed me just like Meer's mate did. Why should I trust you, or any other tom for that matter? After I gave you and Flare up; I went to live as a kitty-pet... Hoping that my kits would be safe.. and for a while I was happy " Shard closed her eyes, memories taking over her " But... I couldn't abandoned Meer and Skull. The two cats who truly loved me. I couldn't change who I was... " Shard realized all she was doing was rambling; so she got to her feet and snored in disgust. " Did that help any? " all the emotions laced around Shard's heart poured from her eyes; cascading into the beautiful silver ones of the tom across from her. " If you are finished; I want you off of my land by moon high or else I will have you own kits rip you to shreds as you did to my heart the day you left"

[~All I Need]

{ WILL YOU WALK ME TO THE EDGE AGAIN }
{ SHAKING, LONELY, AND I AM DRINKING AGAIN

[/size] }[/center]

And about the forgiveness we were supposed to have exchanged; sorry, honey, but I pass up. Now look this way.

Shadowfire watched silently, emotionless, as Shard's eyes became soft with sadness, indecision. The dark tom had seen that look time and again on her face and he wanted to reach to her and left her bury her face in his strong shoulder; as she had always done. But that was when there were no secrets between them, no hatred or bitterness.

" Why search for me; you could have found me in Flare.

[/i] "

Pain destroying his handsome facade, Shadowfire shook his head. There was not an ounce of Shard in Flare. Though Shadowfire had said that his son was cold and heartless just like his mother; he didn't mean it. Flare would never be anything like Shard. His son could never deserve a shred of love from his wicked father. " He's nothing like you. I yearned for you, Shard.I can't stand Flare, " was all he said in response.

" Your love was nothing more then an illusory lie![/i] "

The tom flinched away, his eyes squinted shut as if he were in physical agony. There was a reason why they always described it as "breaking my heart." No figure of speech could be any closer to the horrible truth. Though he wanted to scream at Shard until his lungs collapsed, scream that she was wrong; he couldn't bring himself to do it. All he could do was stand there and listen to Shard speak, every fragment of his heart dissipating slowly.

" Love is something that can never be broken. I thought you loved me. That night we met ...when I was a stupid apprentice.[/i] "

Shadowfire's eyes were on fire as he held the tears back, his lungs drowing in his own sorrow. He really wished he never met Shard; none of this pain would have been inflicted upon either of them. The heavens above wouldn't have to witness such agony and weep upon Mother Earth below.

The rain fell slowly along with Shadowfire's tears; making the rivers of sorrow swell and kiss the bank like a long lost lover. The trees sighed and extended their arms to the sky, whispering their laments for the heavens. No one before had seen such a display of the worst elements that have ever walked this earth: isolation and love. Love was so beautiful and powerful that it could make you lust for blood, lust to kill; isolation slowly picked away at the seams of your soul until you went insane.

" I loved you more then you can ever imagine; then you left.[/i] "

It felt as if Shard had grabbed the anvil and crushed his chest in with those words. His heart beat irregulary, like a victim of a horrific incident where they harmed everyone around them without meaning to. The guilt and suffering grew and grew until you became sick with the reflection in the mirror. You murdered innocents!![/i] he wanted to screech. I'm so sorry for ever leaving you like that!![/i]

The tabby tom-cat watched as Shard wrapped her tail around her dainty paws, a sign that she was trying to comfort herself. Shadowfire's silver eyes burned with a fiery craze; he wanted to be the one comforting Shard!! It was his duty to right the wrongs he made!

He walked forward slowly as Shard continued to speak. " I was so heart-broken and lonely; I would have accepted anyone as long as they pretended to love me. That is when I met Cujo. He said he loved me; and I didn't care if he really did or not... soon enough you decided you wanted me back. I was thick with the thought of starting a family with you. I should have known I was meaningless to a great cat such as you. I had your kits; just as I promised to do.. and I was actually going to tell Cujo that they weren't his kits... Yet then I saw what happened to Meer and her mate; how they fought- and how her kits got taken away from her. I couldn't let that happen; so I went looking for Cujo... and he had ran. He betrayed me just like Meer's mate did. Why should I trust you, or any other tom for that matter? After I gave you and Flare up; I went to live as a kitty-pet... Hoping that my kits would be safe.. and for a while I was happy, but... I couldn't abandon Meer and Skull. The two cats who truly loved me. I couldn't change who I was...[/i] "

It was here that Shadowfire stopped, his eyes only inches away from Shard's amber orbs. He felt the old feelings of weightlessness and freedom engulf him. Why did he ever leave? He had been such a stupid, young, foolish coward. It was now that he questioned himself; what slefish deeds of his could be more important than Shard and their kits?

" Please don't do this to me, Shard, " he begged, pleading. Every word she spoke only dragged him deeper and deeper into the abyss of misery.

" Did that help any?[/i] "

Yes, it helped me.[/i] he whispered silently. it helped me to see what I have to do.[/i]

" If you are finished; I want you off of my land by moon high or else I will have your own kits rip you to shreds as you did to my heart the day you left.[/i] "

Shadowfire growled and closed the inches between them by bringing his muzzle right by hers. Eyes burning, heart aching, he stared at one and only Shard. " Now you listen to me, Shard! You wouldn't ever be able to understand all of the torture, the agony I went through when I accepted that I wasn't good enough for you!! I wasted my life away trying to forget you and not killing Flare because every time I looked at him, all I could see was your lips uttering 'I don't love you.' I have tried so long to remember the last time I smiled without you by my side; I racked my brain until it hurt and I came up with nothing. You know why, Shard? Because I will never be complete without you. Not a day goes by that I can't imagine your beautiful eyes or your resonating voice!! That's all I think of; you! I hate it that I can't live without you, I do. I really wish that I could live an independent life away from you, but I just can't..., " He broke off and looked down at his paws, engulfed in flames. " I'm sorry that I broke your heart; I would do everything in my power to mend it. Shard; I love you and I just can't see a future or a past or the present without you. "[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Ooc= Oh my god, he is sooo tormented!! ( /huggles Shadowfire ) I cried while writing his speech... Shard, you better forgive him :3!! ( /grabs rotten tomato )][/size]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

( ooc = WHY DID YOU MAKE ME CRY!!! ( / takes out tissue for bot me and Shard ) I cried reading it as well D; Poor Shadowfire. BEST.COUPLE.EVER! Yet now I can't keep a straight head so my response wont be as good D: WHHHYYYY!!! Bad Fiah! ( / hits with a news paper ) BAADDD GIIRRLL!! )

The needle-like tears from above ambushed Shard. Soon every sent, every noise, and ever feeling was covered with the wet rain; making the black fae even blinder then she already was. Some would say that Starclan themselves were crying over what was below them. Crying such tears that it hurt the cats bellow both mentally and physically. Yet, to Shard, all she could imagion was that the cats up in Starclan were laughing at her. Laughing so hard that tears rolled down their cheeks. Why were they laughing? Because they knew that Shard wasn't strong. She couldn't keep denying the tom. She couldn't even chase him out if she really wanted to.

Thump Thump Thump.

The black fae was surprised to hear how strong Shadowfire's heart was beating. Thinking it through; Shard realized that he must have gotten closer during her speech. The rain plastered his sent it own; making it impossible of Shard to smell anything but the mocking tears that were gathering in puddles around her.

Not knowing where the tom was; Shard just looked straight ahead. Hoping that she wasn't staring off at nothing. The amber orbs were gathering more and more emotion as time passed by. Just like how to puddles grew with more and more rain. Hurt, longing, resentment, amity, affection, urge, wistfulness, passion, aspiration.

Shadowfire's sent brushed past the she-cat's muzzle alone with the tom's hot breath. Though it startled her; the fae felt forzen to the ground. Not even flinching when the heat from the tabby's muzzle warped around her own. Longing melted over the fae; making her breathing partner become shaky. Like a cliche drug addict being presented with a big bag of cocaine and a room all to himself.

The sent of blood was tapped around the tom's muzzle; slightly daunting the fae. Intimidating her enough to make her take a step back. The tom's voice scared her; the amount of pain that laced itself around the lullaby made it hard for her to breath.

" Now you listen to me, Shard! You wouldn't ever be able to understand all of the torture, the agony I went through when I accepted that I wasn't good enough for you!! I wasted my life away trying to forget you and not killing Flare because every time I looked at him, all I could see was your lips uttering 'I don't love you.' I have tried so long to remember the last time I smiled without you by my side; I racked my brain until it hurt and I came up with nothing. You know why, Shard? Because I will never be complete without you. Not a day goes by that I can't imagine your beautiful eyes or your resonating voice!! That's all I think of; you! I hate it that I can't live without you, I do. I really wish that I could live an independent life away from you, but I just can't..., I'm sorry that I broke your heart; I would do everything in my power to mend it. Shard; I love you and I just can't see a future or a past or the present without you. "

For quite a while the only think Shard could hear was the sound of rain rolling down. As if she was in her own little world with no one there but herself and the rain. The though of the discussion the cats had being nothing but a dream was very tempting.

Shard lurched herself forward; pushing hard into the chest of the larger tom. Taking shelter from the rain with her head barred into the shoulder of Shadow. The sent of the tom was breathtaking, masking the sent of the rain and the horrid emotions that had clung to ever word she spat. " I hate you so much " okay; that wasn't really wanted to say. But as she said them; her voice was chocked out, almost completely drowned out by the muffling of fur and splashing of rain. Making it sounder very unconvincing. Shard nuzzled herself deeper into the pelt, pressing even harder against him.

[~All I Need]

{ IN THE END, ONLY KINDNESS MATTERS }
{ I WILL GET DOWN MY KNEES AND I WILL PRAY

[/size] }[/center]

( Ooc=Yay!! Shard forgives him!! ( /dances ) I won't have to throw a rotten tomato now. Everyone is going to vote for them to be the best couple if they want to live!! MUWAHAHAHA!! ( /cringes away from newspaper ) Aagh!! I'm allergic to newsprint!! I'm not bad!! ( /cries ) Don't hit me, Mommy!! )

Shadowfire had not been much of a believer in any kind of faith, but it was now that he believed that not everyone was doomed to die. He looked at Shard and saw an angel, a symbol and deity of hope and immortality. The tom wanted nothing but to live in immortal happines with Shard.

He couldn't stand the silence any longer and closed his eyes, the tears spilling even faster. If Shard were to break his heart again, would he be completely unrepairable? How many times could his heart be shattered and thrown back together to be disappointed again and again? Choking back the tears, Shadowfire's lips moved quickly to a silent, incoherent prayer. He was praying for all of his horrid actions to be not forgotten, but forgiven; he hoped for a blissful live and love with Shard, being able to watch their kits grow and love the world like the world loved them; last of all...
He prayed for Flare's forgiveness.

The tom's eyes flew open in shock as Shard's scent overpowered him, making him almost lose consciousness. Looking down, the dark tabby could only see Shard. Nothing else but Shard.

Shock made Shadowfire grow numb, blocking all thoughts and feelings. The tears stopped coming and he continued to stare at his love, unsure of what to do. And then, all of the feelings--unpleasant and beautiful at the same time--overthrew him and drowned him in a calming sea. With a cry of anguish, the tom buried his head in Shard's shoulder, shaking with laughter and powerful sobs.

" I hate you so much.

[/i] "

Shadowfire laughed, his melodic voice still contorted by tears. He rubbed his muzzle against Shard's and then laid his head on top of her's, feeling pure ecstacy imbue his entire being. He didn't care if Shard really meant what she said; she was here with him and in his heart.

He closed his silver eyes and breathed her scent in, trying to fill his lungs with nothing but her essence. Like his heart, his lungs were imbued with nothing but Shard. The tom felt like his chest was about to burst with this pure, angelic prescence in him. How could he, such an insignificant and evil person fall in love with a shard of the universe's heavenly grace? It was pure irony, this love was.

The rain continued to fall harshly upon the heartbroken felidae, the thunder cackling harshly overhead. Shadowfire felt his whole body quiver, unsure of whether it was the ominous drumroll of thunder or his joy. It was like he could hear his heart piece itself back together with audible sounds. He purred, thinking of nothing and letting his emotions rule him. They dragged him on a riptide of love and hate; he relished in it and never wanted this moment to end.

" I know you do, " he whispered playfully in her ear, love saturating his voice into a beautiful lullaby.

( Ooc=This cat has serious issues with his feelings... ( /hits Shadowfire ) Get it together man!! )[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

( ooc= not very gooodd D: but oh well )

The warm sound of laughter coddled the black she-cat. The large crown of Shadowfire was buried into her shoulder. He was warm; and very heavy. Yet Shard didn't dare move; in fear she would break the enchantment of the moment. Soon the tom's head lifted; to brush muzzles with her and lay it's own head atop of hers.

" I know you do, "

Shard was being treated like a delicate object, something precious and fragile, it was better than just feeling wanted, it felt like she was set, deep in the core of Shadow's heart. Thunder shattered the blissful look on Shard's face. Scaring the she-cat only for an instant. " We should take cover from the rain " she said softly; talking like she did when she was an apprentice. With the same kindness and gentleness she had when she first met the handsome kittypet.

The black fae shook herself; though she knew that no mater how hard she shook she was going to be wet for the rest of the night. Shard pressed herself once more into the flank of her beloved Shadowfire; drowning herself in his sent.

Shard reached up to give the tom careful licks on his shoulder. The rhythm of her licks corresponding to the sound of thunder shattering the perfection of the lovers.

" Come " It wasn't a command; if anything it sounded like a pleading kit. Excited to show it's mother something it found. Flicking her tail across The large tome affectionately; Shard jumped towards the Willow tree. The willow tree provided shelter more then once for Shard. For this was the spot where she first met meer, she caught her first mouse as a loner, she killed her first opponent. The tree stood there, representing all of Shard's accomplishments, and now it was welcoming with slender arms, Shadowfire. The mate of Shard.

[~All I Need]

{ YOU TREAT ME JUST LIKE ANOTHER STRANGER }
{ WELL IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR, I GUESS I'LL GO

[/size] }[/center]

If Flare were to see me now,

[/color] Shadowfire thought to himself as the rain pounded his broad shoulders. He sighed; how was he going to explain everything to his son? Old habits die hard with everybody, but with Shadowfire...it was almost impossible. All of the moons of lying and hating the young tom... How could that all just be repaired with a few meaningless words; well, they'd only be meaningless in Flare's ears. He hates me.[/color] The thought didn't anger or somber Shadowfire, it only made him feel slightly detached on the inside. For such a long time he loathed the thought of Flare; could he ever truly love his and Shard's child? He knew without a doubt that he would love the other kits that he had been told about, but what about Flare?

The dark tabby's thoughts were forgotten as Shard pressed herself against him, her melodic voice wrapping around his ears and desensitizing him. It felt as if he was going to burst with all of the love that imbued him. I will never be able to put my love for her in words... How depressing; the magic of words could only go so far.

" We should take cover from the rain[/color]. "

Speechless, Shadowfire slightly nodded and tried not to tremble as Shard’s tail flicked across his strong shoulder. Everything felt surreal as he followed the black femme to the willow tree. He could remember that this tree symbolized everything for Shard, did that mean it symbolized him, also? It had been so long since Shadowfire didn’t feel sure of himself. During his time in RiverClan, he had grown to be arrogant and strong, reflective like a shield. None of the diatribes of the other warriors fazed him, they meant nothing. All of the hurt that had been inflicted upon him from Shard’s absence in his life left him scarred and much stronger than he thought he could ever be. But now that Shard was back…? He felt defenseless and insecure with her around, did that mean he was vulnerable to words now? That’s probably how Flare felt whenever he was around his father. It shamed Shadowfire to think of the fact that he put his flesh and blood through unnecessary misery.

“ Come.[/color] “

Shard didn’t need to say more; Shadowfire was already slowly following the renegade fae with silent steps. The tom’s silver eyes were trained on the way Shard’s muscles rippled like water under her jet-black fur. It had been so long since he saw her, it felt to him like he could never fully remember her detail by detail. None of his memories of her would do her justice. Not even her voice sounded like the way he had remembered it. In his cruel and dark memories of her, all he could recall was the way her voice was toneless and cold as she asked him to join Bloodlust. But now, all it did was bring the fondest of memories to the front of his mind where he could relive the nights where they slept under the stars. An unexpected purr broke out of his chest, making the thunder sound quiet in comparison to it. He sat down beside Shard, pressing against her to keep the chill in the air out of her fur. Shadowfire wanted to speak to her, to hear her voice again in this tempest, but he also felt that words were better left unsaid right now. What if he said something that broke this peace treaty and made her leave? The tom’s heart stopped at the thought of it and continued to beat irregularly once he calmed his nerves. No; Shard wouldn’t leave him now. He had said everything that had been left unspoken and she understood.

… Didn’t she?

Unable to stand the silence any longer, Shadowfire pressed closer and rested his head lightly on her small shoulder. Slowly, he breathed her scent in. His forehead knitted in worry and anxiety as he pondered over all of the moons he had spent away from Shard. How much longer would he have lasted if it had continued? Such stupid, selfish actions kept him away from her.
" Shard...? " he whispered, finding it hard to speak. His mouth was dry and he felt like his throat was blocked up by tears. Shadowfire swallowed nervously and continued, " I love you, Shard. With every breathe that I breath and every beat of my heart. But what am I to tell Flare? Do you want me to leave him with RiverClan and come join Bloodlust with you? " He stopped and looked in Shard's eyes, knowing that she coudn't see, but he hoped that she could feel the pleading in his voice. " I would do anything to stay with you. But, please, " his deep voice dropped to an almost incoherent whisper. " Don't make me live another day without seeing you. "

The tom's eyes were wide and pleading and his shoulders were hunched in submission. It had been so long since he had felt so weak and dependable on someone. It was like time was replaying itself as Shadowfire was the young and ignorant kittypet he used to be and Shard was the gentle apprentice he first met her as. It had been so long since these two hearts felt whole.

It had been so long since life felt right.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

tag; shard! ( /huggles ) you returned!
muse; i want to burn it in a fire!! it sucks!
notes; shard has returned shard has returned shard has returned!!
lyrics; ignorance by paramore--its a good song for them! :3

[/right]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

The willow tree's lacing branches made perfect cover for the tears that hissed from the dark sky above. Already, the sun bleached land of the loner territory seemed to be coming alive once more. The marshy areas that were cracked with heat, becoming wet once more; the dried river that provided water for many loners began to fill up with the precious liquid; the sun's violent rays were hidden behind soft clouds; life was beginning to form once more around the concept of tears.

Shard closed her eyes as the still air began to shift and move around her. Chasing away the heat that had clung so desperately to the forest. It was strange how fast the weather had changed; but Shard didn't mind it. Compared to the heat; rain didn't seem so bad. Of course; at least in the heat she could smell. The thought of which was better; droughts or rain made Shard's thought change into a entire different direction. Or kits were still out there looking for the intruder. They would be heading back to camp now that it was raining, and with Shard gone they may become worried at look for her themselves. The black fae wasn't sure if she was ready to tell Lullaby and Serpent about the truth.

The midnight she-cat was frightened at the sudden warm that wrapped around her. Smothering her with feelings that she hadn't felt in the longest of times. Them the silence came. Shard felt obligated to say something, to stop the awkwardness from creeping up onto the moment, yet she could think of nothing. Fear rose like bile in the back of her throat at the simple question that fluttered into her mind. What now. Would Shadow return to Riverclan? Would Shadow bring Flare and join Bloodlust? Would he go back to his kittypet life? Would he ask her to join Riverclan with him?

The thoughts that ran through the fae's mind were torture. Each new idea worst then the last. Each one begging to be silence in the sweet embrace of death. A weight on Shard's shoulder made her jump slightly, untill she remembered that she wasn't alone. " Shard...? " The word shattered the silence, yet at the same time at single word everything seemed to grow silent," I love you, Shard. With every breathe that I breath and every beat of my heart. But what am I to tell Flare? Do you want me to leave him with RiverClan and come join Bloodlust with you? I would do anything to stay with you. But, please, Don't make me live another day without seeing you. "

Shard felt herself shiver; she felt almost disgusted by the weight of such a large decision on her shoulders. Was this really a question, or was it a question that had a right answer? What if she got the answer wrong and make Shadow angry? She didn't want to loose him. Not now; and Flare. Would Shard ever get to be with him again? " I-" the raven began to studder, fear racing through her veins. Making her heart pump hard against her ribs, threatening to break them and spill her contains onto the roots of the willow tree.

" It is your decision " she whispered; begging to Starclan she was giving the right answer. " I will stay by your side where ever you go, but I cannot promise what will happen to me...." Shard trailed off before pressing herself into the dark tabby's chest. " I love you so much " she squeaked; " I- I just want to stay by you "

[~All I Need]

Shadowfire

{ TRY TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULDN'T DO

[/color] }
{ YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU }[/center]

The wind sighed with a huge gust as the rain drilled holes in the ground. Shadowfire kept his eyes closed as he listened to Shard's gentle breathing, his muzzle still brushing up against her soft, ebony fur. To anyone whom cared to look, it would seem that the dark tabby was asleep. But he was far from that; his thoughts were too hectic to let him gain an ounce of peace in his mind and his heart was beating too rapidly. The tom felt like he was running and then finding himself off the edge, heart up in his throat. It frightened--no, terrified--him, yet it also made him feel alive. The first time in what had felt like an eternity.

" I--

[/i] " Shadowfire could feel the femme's pulse quicken as terror engulfed her. The pulse of his heart, too, met her pace and beat against his thick rib cage with malice. Opening his eyes slowly, the tom lifted his head off of Shard's shoulder and eyed her skeptically, afraid to hear her answer. The same thoughts and questions that had been running through her mind were running through his, leaving his slightly nauseated and shaky. There were many options, but none of them just seemed right. The only logical solution was to stay in their separate families until fate decided when the time was right--but Shadowfire knew that he would die another day without seeing his beloved! Shard was the same, too!

The slightly supressed shudder that ran up and down Shard's small body broke the dark tom out of his brooding thoughts. Her voice was still shaky and holding the hint of fear and anxiety. " It is your decision, I will stay by your side where ever you go, but I cannot promise what will happen to me.... I love you so much. I- I just want to stay by you.[/i] "

Shadowfire's breathe was cut short as Shard's words ran around inside his mind. Though her decision had not made it easier for him to decide their fate, her one statement had thrown him off guard. She loved him; infinitely, it seemed. With a pang of misery, it was now that Shadowfire realized that that was the first time Shard had said that she loved him since the last time he saw her. Earlier, Shard had said that she hated him and he read it as love; but she hadn't said it aloud. His heart kicked back into third gear and sped up so fast that it was almost unhealthy; Shadowfire felt like he could walk on clouds and repaint the sky if given the chance!

Purring reassuringly, the well-muscled tom pressed his muzzle against Shard's, enjoying the way her breathe made his whiskers tremble. " Don't worry, my love. Don't fret; no decisions have to be made at this moment in time, " he cooed in his melodic voice, slipping under a deep and mind-numbing trance. But the one question that kept running through his mind was How am I going to explain this to Flare?[/color][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

F l a r e

{ YOU'RE NOT A JUDGE, BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA JUDGE ME

[/color] }
{ THEN SENTENCE ME TO ANOTHER LIFE[/color] }[/center]

Why do I bother loving my hateful and calignous father?

[/color] Flare asked himself as bounded at a steady pace through the harsh rain. Though his lovely fur was soaked to the skin, none of its luster had been taken away. Instead, it seemed to glow brighter; like flames dancing upon the snow.

The young tom's mind was chaotic as he stared down at where his feet were traveling, not really seeing anything. So much had happened in the past few moons; Lullaby, Serpent, Thymeheart, Sleetpaw, even Shadowfire. It was like Flare had been walking around with his eyes closed and then opened them to a new world. Like everything was bathed in a new light that brought all aspects of his life into amazing focus. It showed him how easily a seed of hatred can be planted in someone else; how love can sprout of long-cold cinders; how even those that seem millions of worlds away can have secret ties, bonding the two parties as intricately as a woven rug.

The tom stopped in his tracks and looked to the sky as thunder rolled ominously in the distance. Sometimes, the weather in the forest could be such an anomaly. One instant it is torrid and life-threatening, the next it can be revitalizing. Blinking his multi-hued eyes, Flare enjoyed the feeling of the rain hitting his face and running down his thick, water-proof pelt. Closing his eyes and a small smile haunting his lips, the tom stood there until his feet grew cold. It wasn't until the unnerving sound of a tree falling to its fate far in the distance echoed through the forest did Flare continue his search for his father.

It had been sunhigh when the rest of the Clan noticed Shadowfire's absence. Many questions and rumors had spread about the camp until it had reached Dragonstar's ears. He had suggested a searching party for the dark tabby, but Flare offered to go by himself. Quickly, the Clan agreed to let him go. After all, if something happened to Flare that'd be one less kittypet to worry about.

A small frown distorted Flare's handsome features as he scented the air, not surprised to find that Shadowfire's scent had been washed away by the rain. Shrugging his shoulders, Flare rolled his eyes upwards to the roiling sky. " The moron can get himself out of whatever stupid mess he got himself in to, " he hissed to no one in particular. Maybe it was StarClan, maybe it was to the dead she-cat. Who knew?

Suddenly, a sharp sword of pain stabbed Flare's paw as he pressed down on a shard of glass. A gasp of pain emitted from the tom's maw as he stumbled, catching himself on the injured pad. His eyes smarted, blurring everything. After blinking away the few stray tears, Flare studied the wound. It wasn't deep, but it was bleeding heavily, turning the orange fur on his paws to a sickly brown. Grimacing, Flare hopped on three legs until he saw a skeletal willow tree in the distance; Flare breathed a sigh of relief. Good, someplace to rest and get out of the rain.

Gaining speed, the striped tom barreled into the shadows and skidded, his flailing paws kicking up mounds of dirt and lichen. After shaking his ginger and white pelt out, Flare sat down and started cleaning out his paw, his wide eyes narrowed in concentration. " Darn shard of glass, " he hissed inaudibly under his voice. But then, suddenly, he heard a familiar voice that made the tom's fur stand on edge and his whiskers stiff.

" Don't worry, my love. Don't fret; no decisions have to be made at this moment in time. "

Flare held his breathe as his eyes widened in pure shock and utter amazement. Shadowfire? Love? It was like asking a skunk not to stink; it was that ironic and unbelievable. Keeping his air regulation steady and even, Flare glanced around the side of the willow trunk to see two dark forms crouched in the shadows. One of them was Shadowfire's dark pelt, highlighted by his ginger paws; while the other was a black femme Flare had never met. But something kindled in him like the time he met Lullaby and Serpent; he knew this she-cat, but from where? Though he hadn't heard he speak yet, he could hear six words that had been uttered to him many moons ago:

" Flare; that is a lovely name.[/i] "

Taking a deep breathe, Flare tensed his muscles and stepped out of the shadows, his multi-colored eyes cold and unnerving. He watched as Shadowfire glanced up at him, pure terror on his face. Flare's snarl faltered as he read the expression on his father's face. Never before had he seen his kin so terrified. Though his eyes were soft and curious, Flare kept his voice cold and menacing as he mewed, " Father; who is this? "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

tag; shardeh!
muse; building... BUILDING....... It just crashed
notes; omg i love shadowfire and shard!!
should flare find out that shard is his mother or about his long lost sister (fireice)?
lyrics;freak out by avril lavigne and ignorance by paramore

[/right]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

(ooc= BAD POST!! AHHHH )

The black fae let the smell of rain and Shadow take over her. Indulging all of her senses. Shard let out a blissful sigh which turned into the steady beat of purring." Don't worry, my love. Don't fret; no decisions have to be made at this moment in time, " the dark tom's voice was a perfect lullaby that seemed to calm Shard's inner kit. Rain played the rhythm; like a drum- while his purr and breath took the lead. The willow branches swayed, chiming beautifully over the two cats- the wind howled like a background singer. The organisms played their song over and over, Shard's own purr sounded awkward compared the to dark tom's perfect one.

The feeling of pure horror stuck into the song; breaking the pure contentment of the serene clearing. Shard was confused to why the music stopped playing, so she let out a confused mrrow before licking the other cat's cheek. " Father; who is this? ". Shard felt her own heart lurch at the sound of Flare's voice. her guard sprung up around her. That perfect blissful feeling was hidden under pure want and pure sadness. " Flare " she whispered under her breath, turning around to face where Flare should be standing.

Now the rain wasn't even audible. Only the gunshots of the black cat's heart. Pounding again, and again on her neat chest. The fae got to her paws only to take a few steps back and sit down as close as possible to Shadow. " Flare " Shard said as she turned her head over her shoulder to position her eyes up at the hansom tom. "...Should I leave?" Now the fear was taken from Shard's eyes to show nothingness.

Shard was great as hiding her emotions. The day she left Shadow, she showed no pain; the day she left Thunderclan, she showed no pain; the day she learned her mother was dead; she showed no pain; and the day her son returned; she showed no happiness. The amber orbs closed as if they were impatient of waiting for an answer. Yet; they flickered back open the next second and gave Shadow a look of pure love. " It is your choice "

[~All I Need]

[glow=black,5,000]♥

[/left][/color][/glow]

Shadowfire

[/font]

{ SO PUT ON A SHOW

[/color] }
{ I WANT TO SEE HOW YOU LOSE CONTROL }[/center]

Shard's delicate purr became background noise as he stared at his son, the blood roaring in his ears. All feeling evaporated from Shadowfire's veins and was replaced with a chilling numbness as he sprang to his paws, the fur along his shoulders bristling. A deafening snarl ripped out of his chest as he contorted his body to be blocking Shard from the ginger-striped tom's view. Pure venom dripped in the dark tom's muscles as they rippled under his thick pelt, anxious for the miniscule chance of a fight. If he had to fight Flare to keep Shard safe, then so be it; he had hurt his son many times before, he could do it numerous times again.

" Flare.

[/i] " At the sound of Shard's breathless whisper, Shadowfire's head whipped around to stare at her, agony destroying his handsome features. So much was going to be obliterated; all because of Flare's existence. Claws unsheathed, Shadowfire lowered his head and bared his teeth in Flare's direction, his silver eyes as cold as ice. He was not going to lose Shard to Flare again; not ever! Though, earlier, Shadowfire had promised to himself that he would love his kin, all of those promises disappeared as he glared his son in the eyes, pure agony distilling in his veins. Before, the birth of the kits had separated them. Without them, Shard and Shadow could have continued to meet; the black fae completely forgetting Cujo. But the little ones created a committment; and that committment was none other than Cujo, leaving Shadowfire and Flare on the sidelines.

" ...Should I leave? It is your choice.[/i] "

Panic gripped Shadowfire's muscles as he turned to look into Shard's amber eyes. The tom swallowed nervously, finding it hard to since his windpipe was choked up in unadulterated terror. " Please, " he whispered, his voice pleading like a kit for its mother's milk. " Please stay. We will do this; together, " he added, his voice still soft and fragile seeming.

Meeting Shard's loving gaze with one of his own, Shadowfire took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders as his gaze traveled over to Flare, looking into those eyes so much like Cromwell's. Those eyes were what made him flee from Apparition and Star; he left them for his silly, petty reason. . . Just like Shard. Shaking the dark memories from his mind, the tabby tom took a few steps closer to Flare, his tail brushing against Shard's shoulders as the space between them expanded.

He watched with calculating eyes as Flare flinched away from him, his wide eyes narrowed; prepared for the blow that would come.

But Shadowfire just stood there.

" Flare; this is Shard. " The beau took another deep breath and mewed, " Shard. . . My mate. "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[glow=orange,5,000]♥

[/size][/color][/glow]

Flare

{ COME BREAK ME DOWN; BURY ME, BURY ME

[/color] }
{ ALL I WANTED WAS YOU[/color] }[/center]

Everything seemed to slow down, but everything sped up in Flare's body. His blood pushed with agonizing force through his veins and arteries, flooding him completely with his disbelief and horror. This unknown fae. . . Was Shard; Serpent and Lullaby's mother.

" Flare.

[/i] " The she-cat's first utterance of his name was almost revolting in the young tom's ears. He flinched away, a defensive hiss bubbling on his lips. Flare wound his body tight like a spring, preparing to strike Shard. Who was this she-cat? Why was she whispering his name like she. . .yearned for him as a mother would her long-lost child? Though the ghost of a thought lingered in the back of his skull, Flare pushed it away entirely. There was no way that he could be the--the child of Shard; it would be almost as bad as saying that he was Meer's son.

" . . . Should I leave? It is your choice.[/color] "

Though the question wasn't directed to him, Flare opened his mouth to speak before Shadowfire cut him off. " Please, please stay. We will do this; together, " he cooed in his deep, booming voice. The disgust on Flare's face was obvious as he recoiled as if stung; Shadowfire was with Shard?! If only he had Lullaby here with him so she could see that their parents were more than just friends. Now, more than ever, he wished he had his friends here to support him. Thymeheart, her rational deductioning and calm mind; Surfpaw, with his witty tongue and confidence; Lullaby, her prescence seeming to having a calming effect on everybody; even Serpent, with her quick temper and sharp tongue. Flare closed his eyes and dug his claws into the ground.

" Flare; this is Shard.[/i] "

The tom glanced up and glared at both his father and Shard, his bright eyes cold and baleful. He flexed his muscles and bared his teeth at Shadowfire, spitting at his feet as he said, " I can see that it's Shard, Father. What is she doing here near RiverClan territory?! We need to run here off at once! That cat is a killer! " Flare had spat the word as if it was poison or acid; banishing it from his mouth in fear of it scalding his tongue. Just looking in those amber eyes and the undying love in them just made Flare sick to his stomach. He wanted to rip both of them up and toss every bit of their carcasses all across the forest so he wouldn't have to endure anymore suffering. If he had the choice to never see his father again, Flare would gladly take it and never look back. " She's a filthy, crow-food eating-- "

" Shard. . . My mate.[/i] "

" --maggot. . .! " he squeaked, his voice raising an octave before falling into complete silence. Staring at Shadowfire, Flare could see the truth in his silver eyes. " No, " he whispered, his voice muffled and sounding very far away in his ears. Everything grew silent as his multi-colored gaze flickered from the dark tabby to the midnight-black fae. He took a step back, preparing to run. His whiskers quivered in terror; his plumed tail shook midair; his paws fruitlessly tried to anchor him to the ground.
" No. . . It can't be. " After a long, unnerving pause filled the air, Flare spoke again. His voice was like a small child's instead of an agonized youth's; all of the pain of the previous moons just spilled its contents into his small voice. " She just can't be. . . Mother? "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

tag; shard! ( /tackles )
muse; ack! no muse for shadowfire; muse for flare! flare is the bestest!!!
notes; flare is going to be uber pissed mad!! X3
lyrics; down by jay sean and the kill by 30 seconds to mars

[/right]

[Badgersoul]

{ I'M ADDICTED TO YOU }
{ DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOUR TOXIC }

(ooc= I just reread some of my old posts. When Shard was in the nursery she had a crush on a kit named Shadowkit xD xD Shard! What is with you and darkness!! Heheh :3 )

" Please, Please stay. We will do this; together, "

Shard's eyes grew wide as she noticed that Shadow's heat was growing farther away. As soon as Shadow's tail left her Shard felt abandoned. The rain drowned out the world around her. Leaving her in pure blackness. Shard pulled her self onto the warm spot where Shadow had been and tried to let his lingering sent comfort her. Yet it didn't, time passed like seasons. Though Shadow had just promised they would do this together; thoughts of him abandoning her made Shard paranoid. The female's hackle rose in fear and fur fluffed out. The fae pulled her front paw up to paw at the air, hoping to feel Shadow's warm pelt. Yet her paw felt nothing and she stumbled forward ungracefully.

Would Flare be happy to see her again? Hope flutter in her soul and with a purr that hope flutter across the clearing. Shard was more then excited; she would have her family back! Maybe she could also find her siblings, now that her mother was dead- maybe it was time to make up with them. Sunpelt, Speckledfrost, Snakecoil, Sharkfang, teardrop, Shadowfire, Flarepaw, Lullaby, Sentinel, Serpent; all together again. The thought banished all other emotions. Only hope, happiness, and excitement danced in her core. She wouldn't be alone in her darkness anymore. She would be alone ever again.

<3

" I can see that it's Shard, Father. What is she doing here near RiverClan territory?! We need to run here off at once! That cat is a killer! She's a filthy, crow-food eating--"

Shard couldn't hear what Shadow said in response. Her heart dropped and her very being felt sick. Her knees started to shake and heart stopped. Her thought of a world surrounded by creatures who loved her, who would make her pure black world full of color and light, was ripped from under her. Shard got up and took a few steps back, she felt different. Being rejected like that- she felt like she did when she left the clans. She felt like she wasn't a living being at all; only a shallow organism that lived in blackness and loneliness.

All the midnight female wanted to do was run. She wanted a fresh start; away from everyone who even knew her. She didn't want her family, she didn't want Meer, she didn't want Skull, she didn't even want Shadow. She wanted to be alone, she wanted to torture herself for being who she was. For being someone her own son hated.

<3

" She just can't be. . . Mother? "

Shard flinched at the words. She stumbled forward until she found Shadow's should; where she buried her head. Shard's whole body was shaking now; from the cold that engulfed her insides.


( ooc= Eh; bad post. I didn't really made a good post to answer to Dx )

[~All I Need]

[glow=orange,5,000]♥

[/size][/color][/glow]

Flare

{ BUT THROUGH MY TEARS BREAKS A BLINDING LIGHT

[/color] }
{ BIRTHING A DAWN TO THIS ENDLESS NIGHT[/color] }[/center]

( ooc=Fiah! i'm going to be weird and throw flare back into a memory. so here's going to be the deal: shard gave flare to shadowfire a few days after she had him. y'okay? good!! )

" M-Mom? Why c-c-cant we p-play with Flare? "

" I've already explained it to you, Tails; he still needs to get stronger. "

" Yeah! 'Cause he's a runt! "

" Don't talk about your brother like that, Kat. "

The little kit's forehead knit in concentration as he pawed at the air, yearning for the warmth of his mother and his brother and sisters. The tom-kit mewled pathetically and tried to stand up on his back paws, only to tumble backwards head over heels. Tiny maw open wide, Flare's cries of pain and want filled the still evening air. A soft paw wreathed in his mother's scent pushed him closer to Shard. Purring weakly, the striped kit curled up in between his mother and Hoshi's warm bodies. Flare mewed in gratitude as his mother's fox-like wrapped around him, keeping him warm. The worry lines in the kit's forehead smoothed out as he laid his head on his paws, sneezing lightly when Shard's fur tickled his nose.

" Mom? "

Flare stiffened as his mother did, also. Because he was only just a few days old, he was unable to place names on each of his family by heart or memory. All he knew about them was their scent; the way they shifted against him in their sleep. " Yes? "

" Why hasn't Flare opened his eyes yet? "

Flare squeaked happily as he felt Shard gently stroke him with a delicate ebony paw. " He will when he wants to, Hoshi. "

¤*¤

[/u]

Flare took Shard's silence as a confirmation of the truth that had been there all along.

Oh. . God no. . .

[/color]

" Flare, " hissed Shadowfire, his tone threatening and warning. Flare narrowed his wide eyes at him and stalked past him, ignoring thhe way he could feel the waves of hatred rolling off of his father. " Flare, " came that hideous voice again. The young tom stopped and looked his father in the eye, daring him to do something in Shard's prescence. " Do you want to lose her again? " he taunted, his voice icy and venomous. " Because it seems to me that I was the reason why you lost her the first time; me and Hoshi and Tails and Kat. "

He turned back to his mother, a snarl building in his throat. Right now, he wished he had never opened his eyes to this cruel world. Why be torn from the womb if one's life is going to be a living nightmare; dark, calignous, and cruel? The muscles of Flare's pelt flexed, making the numerous silver scars flicker in the dull starlight. The first rays of moonlight was filtering through the cloud canopy as he glared balefully at Shard, hoping that she would just evaporate under his seething gaze. " I want you out of my sight, " he snarled, teeth bared.

Shadowfire lunged at his kin, claws outstretched for Flare's throat. The ginger and white beau was fast, though, and dodged his father's deadly claws. He watched as Shadowfire once again positioned himself in front of the midnight fae, his broad shoulders rippling with rage. Flare took a few steps back, his hackles raised in terror. He wanted his father to suffer at his claws, for a change. Liar, liar. . . Pants on fire. God and maker gripping tighter, saying "You will burn in hell."

" Let me kill her, Shadowfire, " Flare whispered, his statement barely heard above the howling wind. " Then again, let me kill you both. Lies for the liars. Kill the killers. "

" I'm warning you-- "

" I HATE you!! " he screamed, shattering the silence. " I loathe both of your stinkin', maggot-ridden corpses! But you, " he hissed in a velvety, soft voice as he pointed at Shadowfire with an unsheathed paw, " you are the most wretched being I've ever laid my eyes on; and that is saying a lot since I've met her. I've let you break my bones, enjoying my screams of pain; I've let you cut me open and poke and prod at me as if I were a specimen; I've even let you conduct cruel and unusual experiments on me! Every time I think of you, I get sick to my stomach and tell myself 'Your punishment for living is taking corporeal form. . .and that form is no other than Shadowfire!' "

The tom's voice rose in a crescendo and ruptured the air with all of the moons of hatred that had been building up in him. The wind halted along with everything else, all living beings holding their breath. . .just waiting. Flare was finally going to break away from the undertow.

" Flare. . . "

The tom looked up to see his father cowering, his silver eyes dead with undeniable terror. His fear-scent was so strong it gagged Flare, giving him a baneful taste in the back of his throat. They both knew that Flare had given away all of the secrets. Shard could choose to hate her mate for tormenting their son, or she could choose to partake in the business of misery.

Tired, sad, miserable Flare dug his claws into the ground, his eyes burning. " Now I will do to you what you have done to me, Father. I will tear your life out by taking her's. . . " As he said this, Flare's flame cloaked paws drew closer to Shard, incoherent curses flying out of his mouth. Bile rose in his throat as he stood a fox-length away from her, his luminous orbs burning from the held back tears.

" Please, Flare. . .Don't-- " Shadowfire's voice gave out and he sobbed, his whole muscular form shaking with hysterics.

Flare lifted an unsheathed paw, every single limb shaking. He wanted to end it all right now. . . But he-- " I just can't do it, " he whispered, his quiet voice quivering. Flare stepped back, his eyes downcast in defeat. " I'm not strong enough to fight back; I've become so numb. "[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

tag; shard! ( /glomps )
muse; sorry it took so long to finish this, my muse died after the first paragraph. . .tell me if i have to change anything wrong with it
funny thing is, when i was reading the part of your post where she was naming off her family, all i could see was S. XD
notes; we are getting snow where i live, yay!!
lyrics; lies by evanescence

[/right]

[Badgersoul]

{ PULL ME BACK TOGETHER }
{ OR SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM BONE }

Pure fear grappled across the black fae's heart. It's pounding beat animating the moment like a drum. " Flare. Flare. Do you want to lose her again? " The beautiful voice of Shadow made the fear start to slowly die. Amber orbs stared towards her feet; not in a shy or scared manor, but in almost a polite manor. At the same time her tail wrapped around her small paws. Her fur laying down on her back. Though her insides flooded with grief and fear; she wasn't about to let her son show how much he truly meant to her. " Because it seems to me that I was the reason why you lost her the first time; me and Hoshi and Tails and Kat. "

" I want you out of my sight, " Shard's eyes grew wide and her ears pressed hard against her head. Closing her eyes; the black she-cat tried to gain back the only thing she had left. her dignity. She rose her head, and moved her gaze where the fighting. She looked like a Fu Dog, with her head held high and chest ruffled just slightly. Shard wasn't sure if she could stay like this for long though. The fight was scaring her enough; and the whispers of her son and mate made her shake. What were they planning? Was all of this a joke just to kill her?

Suddenly a familiar sent made the femme almost jump. Now, she no longer cared about her own life. The life of the small she-cat was more important. " I HATE you!! I loathe both of your stinkin', maggot-ridden corpses! But you, you are the most wretched being I've ever laid my eyes on; and that is saying a lot since I've met her. I've let you break my bones, enjoying my screams of pain; I've let you cut me open and poke and prod at me as if I were a specimen; I've even let you conduct cruel and unusual experiments on me! Every time I think of you, I get sick to my stomach and tell myself 'Your punishment for living is taking corporeal form. . .and that form is no other than Shadowfire!' "

Shard felt her heart beat faster, was this true? Shard got to her paws, shaking. She didn't know which one of them to trust. Her mate, her son, herself. The blackness that grasped her was the scariest. The wind laid it's soft hands on Shard, stroking her fur; whispering words of encouragement, as it pushed her towards the sent. The wind wanted her to wind, just like her own being. TO just run as fast as she could. No one could stop her. She could run as far as she could, and start a who new family. One that was built on love and trust, not like her family now that was built on fear and lies.

Fear poured into the clearing. Covering every sent with it's own fear-sent. Shard didn't know who the sent belong to. It could be her; It could be Flare's; or even Shadow's. Maybe they were all a little scared; or maybe Shard was the only one. So many scents and feelings mixted together in pure confusion.

" Now I will do to you what you have done to me, Father. I will tear your life out by taking her's. . . "

Shard closed her orbs; her heart beginning to slow at the though of death. It's sweet embrace seemed so beautiful compared to life now. " Starclan, do you still watch over me. Even after everything I have done? Is it to late to forgive me? " though Shard as she moved her head to where the stars would be. The fae thought about her mother; Blackpelt ( RIP Blackie~~~ ( / cries ) ), the Kittypet ( or was it half :b ) who worked so hard to be a part of Thunderclan; her father Flametail, one the deputy of Riverclan; and all the dead cats she knew in Thunderclan when she was apart of them. All of them now now resided in Starclan, would they be there waiting for her.

The thought of Sunpelt also made Shard purr; Sunpelt worked hard- along with the rest of her siblings- to make sure she was apprenticed even though she was blind. Sunpelt use to maneuver her with his tail, where ever they went. It was in Thunderclan did Shard also meet Shadow. So many good memories, why did she ever choose to become a loner? Silently Shard wondered if Brownstar would have her back in Thunderclan. Blackpelt was a personal friend of Brownstar, she would have to let her back. Wouldn't she?

Now all seemed quite as Flare slowly came towards her. The black fae's heart beat slowed and her head dropped down into a bow of defeat. She felt so tired, tired of everything. All she wanted to do was lay down and wake up back in the apprentice den with her siblings. " Please, Flare. . .Don't-- " the pure pain of Shadow's voice made Shard twitch. Maybe, one day, the could both live in Starclan- or where ever cats like her went- together. The fae let out a long, shaky sigh. " Do it Flare " she thought; " I do not fear death " though her words were brave her pure instincts told her differently. It took all her power to hold her ground, and not let her own paws carry her back to the protective arms of Meer and Skull.

" I just can't do it, I'm not strong enough to fight back; I've become so numb. " Shard opened her eyes, her tail quivering in shock. Opening her mouth to scent the air, the black fae pinpoint just where Flare was. All the black she-cat wanted to do was hold her baby; lick him all over until all the pain she and Shadow caused him was cleaned away. Yet the fae knew better then to think it was over. Flare would never love her; and this burnt all the hope that ever existed in the frail body of the loner. Slowly the female got up, but instead of turning away she raced over to Shadow and pressed herself against his chest. Her whole body shaking, sobbing words that were muffled by Shadow's hansom pelt.

( Hnnn; sorry it took so long to reply. I didn't see that you were done xD. Who should I bring in, Shard's brother her Lullaby? and forgive my awful postinesss :c )

[~All I Need]

[glow=orange,5,000]♥

[/size][/color][/glow]

Flare

{ LEAVE MY DOOR OPEN JUST A CRACK

[/color] }
{ 'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN INSOMNIAC[/color] }[/center]

What kind of a world can we live in if the one that we have known for eternity was built on lies?

The tortured beau watched his mother as she bowed her head in defeat, her amber eyes closed as if she were already in death's bitter embrace. Flare sobbed as his paw trembled before falling to his side, an electric current of pure numbness poisoning his blood stream. Though he knew that Shard was an evil creature of darkness and blood lust, a spark of sympathy made him pity her. It sickened him, it disgusted him. This was the perfect chance to make Shadowfire recompensate for all of the cruelties he had inflicted on Flare; why was he hesitating?! Why was he letting Shard run to his father?

I know it's hard to forgive, Flare. She may have abandoned you, but your mother still loves you.

[/color] Fireice's ghostly presence was with him, her scent wreathing him and choking him. Flare was tired of her preaching--tired of everything, really--and he didn't want her, or anybody.

" SHE'S NOT MY MOTHER!!! " he screamed, his throat raw with emotion. Caught up in his rage, Flare whirled around, bounded forward and dragged his claws across his father's face, not caring if he killed him or not.

Shadowfire reared back on his hind legs, a feral snarl of fury and pain emanating from his scarred maw. Flare flinched, immediately regretting his actions. He watched with terrified eyes as the dark tabby pawed at the huge gash across the bridge of his nose, fruitlessly attempting to soak up the buckets up blood pouring out of the laceration. Shadowfire quit with a threatening growl at Flare, his silver eyes burning with hatred. The ginger and white tom backed away slowly as Shadowfire advanced on him, his unsheathed claws clicking rhythmically. Leave Flare alone![/color] Fireice screamed in his mind. They both knew that Shadowfire couldn't hear her, but that gave Flare an idea.

" What about Fireice? " he snapped, his neck fur rising in apprehension. Only a fleeting look of confusion passed through his kin's eyes as he continued to come closer. Flare continued to back away, his hackles bristling. He doesn't know you! he hissed at the dead she-cat, terror jumbling his thoughts.

Because he doesn't remember me by that name.[/color]

A tide of relief trickled into Flare's shaking paws; Star. . . Of course. Her name became Fireice when she ran away to ShadowClan. Why did he run away, Fireice? Why can't he ever stay? What pulls our family apart?[/color] he questioned the she-cat, his eyes growing dim with sorrow. Was he eventually going to feel the urge to travel and just leave? Thymeheart. . . And Surfpaw. . . I can't hurt them.

Fireice's urgent hiss made the tom throw himself back into the present, his eyes snapping up to see Shadowfire's claws cutting through the air. " YOU LEFT STAR AND APPARITION! " he choked out, his breathe hitching as Shadowfire's claws froze only a hair's breadth away from his throat. " What? " he snarled, his eyes smoldering.

Flare straightened as his gaze flickered from his father to Shard and back again. Did his mother know about his half-sister; about Shadowfire's previous mate? By the look in the dark tom's silver orbs, Flare could tell that not many secrets were kept between his parents. . . That is, the ones that didn't truly affect him. " Why didn't you tell me? " he whispered, his eyes turned accusingly up to his father. Shadowfire didn't reply but instead clenched his teeth, his tail lashing behind him. Without waiting for the lashing that was looming on the horizon, Flare padded away from his wretched father and sat in front of Shard, his eyes tracing every part of her that he could. From her sightless eyes to the small scars all over her body, he tried to understand how her blood ran in his veins; how half of her was in him.

Frowning, he took a delicate sniff, cringing at the scent of the loner terras and the mingled scents of other felines that brought the stench of blood with them. Though it was alien and revolting to him, it was also something from a distant memory. A memory of being carried through a moonlit clearing to be deposited at his father's ginger paws, a small melodic voice relaxing him into sleep. Little did he know that that voice he had loved so much was throwing him away.

Unsure of his mixed feelings, Flare leaned closer, oddly feeling ashamed at the fact that he had to bend his neck at an odd angle to be eye level with his mother. Staring intently, the ginger and white tom studied the amber depths that held years of lonliness and pain. So different. . . Yet so--so real.

" I wish you could see. . . " he whispered, his tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth in fear and misery. " And not in the way that you would think. . . But I wish you could just feel all of the pain I have endured. . . All of the misery you both have caused me. " His brow furrowed in anxiety as he leaned away, his voice brought down to an almost inaudible whisper. " Is that really too much to ask for? To be loved? "

Sometimes, dear brother, it is.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

tag; shard! ( /glomps )
muse; I am digging deeper just to throw it away XP
notes; I am obsessed with Linkin Park and Owl City; that's all I have to say. And that the music video is going great! =3 you can bring lullaby or sunpelt in, I don't mind either one.
lyrics; fireflies by owl city (teehee ;3)

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[Blackie]

"Shardpaw," Speckledpaw sighed, her tail flicking over her white socked paws. She was barely keeping her frustration in check, watching the smaller kitten rocking clumsily on her paws. "Look, its really easy. Just like our mentors showed us." The apprentice crouched down into the famous ThunderClan hunter's position, rolling her haunches slightly. "Try it again."

Shardpaw obeyed, nervously copying her sister. Like a bad-tempered eagle, Speckledpaw glared at her. She knew she was being unreasonable, that her sibling didn't catch on as easily as she had. She shouldn't be so hard. An image of Blackpelt erupted in her mind, patiently watching her children play, laughing when they stumbled over their own paws. She would have treated Shardpaw kindly, helping her gently. But Blackpelt wasn't there, was she? No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now she was gone forever.

She felt blinded by anger and pain, filled with hate rushing through her mind. All of her feelings, her heart, what she was in completeness of herself, it was crashing down onto her head. Smothering her, suffocating her. Whispering death threats in tunes like a lullaby. Run, run, run, but she couldn't run far enough. The words that broke through her hard shell, the sight of the mangled body being dragged into the camp. The half-hearted vigil. The unfulfilled feeling that accompanied the sudden end. She hadn't met her purpose. She had failed. And now her mother was dead.

Speckledfrost choked on rage, running swiftly over the forest ground, not paying attention to any of it. She just had to get away, far away from the memories. She and her siblings used to dream about Blackpelt, imagening how much she would love them. The warrior used to imagine her father, too, with a grudging fond pride. Flametail had been a popular cat in RiverClan. But he passed before his mate, leaving his children without a parent to go to. Why had Blackpelt left at all?

The moons had pulled her away from her brothers and sister, widening the distance between her heart and her Clan. Every fiber in her body wanted to be apart of them, but Speckledfrost was an individual. Independent of them all, strong enough to uphold herslf.

Until now.

She was falling apart. The black and white she-cat stumbled to a stop, panting heavily. A lethargic feel had crept into her legs, buckling her knees beneath her. With a soft gasp, she gave in and sunk to the ground. Limply, she lay breathing in the dust of the ground, her orange tipped tail curled behind her. Her claws dug into the earth as if a physical hold could make her keep sanity. Get a grip. she hissed silently, shaking.

Catching her breath, Speckledfrost looked around her. Immediately she became tense, growling nervously. The gentle sound of water was playing close by, accompanied by the strong smell of RiverClan. Though she owed what little Clan blood she had to them, Speckledfrost disliked the fish-hunters. They were possesive and quick to battle, completely self-centered. Blackpelt had to of been insane to fall in love with one of them.

" SHE'S NOT MY MOTHER!!! "

The sudden fierce yowl made Speckledfrost snarl, whipping her body around to face the downward course of the river, further into enemy territory. The angry words echoed waveringly around the trees, fading swiftly to the stronger noise of the water. The warrior's heart raced, her mind realing as it tried to make some sense. Someone wasn't happy, that much was obvious. The question was, should she be concerened about it? Taking a tenative step forward, the she-cat lifted her muzzle to smell the air, attempting to use her hunting skills to decifer the mystery. It's too far off. She frowned, tail twitching with the thought of someone in trouble that she might have helped. Even if they were RiverClan, Speckledfrost wasn't so cold that she would allow another cat to become hurt. The only way over there is across the river.

She grimaced, remembering the last time she had gotten so wet. Though she was a strong swimmer compared to other ThunderClan cats, she didn't like the feel of water through her fur.

" YOU LEFT STAR AND APPARITION! "

She bared her teeth and jumped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I wish you could see. . . " a ginger and white tom was hissing under his breath, fury etched on his face in dark, bold lines. From her angle, he was the only one visible to the ThunderClan cat, his rage distorted face focused on something else out of sight. Testing the air with her nose and the scent glands in her mouth, Speckledfrost was able to distinguish two other scents - or was it three? There was something there confusing her, something familiar that she should have known. Perhaps a cat she had met before? But the third smell was so entertwined with the other, that she found it difficult to even relate it to something. It was confusing. Like moss bedding and woodsmoke.

" And not in the way that you would think. . . But I wish you could just feel all of the pain I have endured. . . All of the misery you both have caused me. "

[/i]

Speckledfrost studied the young cat carefully, noticing the signs of battle in his stance. Whatever he was talking to, he was prepared to attack it. She swallowed, pressing close to the ground and slinking so she could see his oponents.

" Is that really too much to ask for? To be loved? "
[/i]

She had to strain her ears to hear him, but the words struck home to her heart, reminding her painfully of what she herself had been feeling for moons. The emptiness of having no one close to her heart. Not even Teardrop was really 'near' to her anymore, and her brothers never had been.

Speckledfrost nearly cried out in terror when her paw landed on a thorn, digging into her pad. She pulled back swiftly, the plants she was sheltering behind swaying with the sudden motion. The warrior winced, frantically shaking her paw. Scarlet drops seeped around the thorn, which was lodged deep into the skin. That's great, just great! The pain stung all the way up her leg, making her eyes water. What'll I do now?[/i]

Only then did she realize the comotion she had made and the cats lurking nearby.[/center]

Terrible muse, sorry X] It will get better, just need to find a way to nestle into my character!

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[Badgersoul]

I want your love and all your lover's revenge

you and me could write a bad romance

Unfinished ~ Waiting for Blackie to post <3
But just need to post my layout to show people it's beauuttyy xD