Here we are ((badgersoul))

[~ Dusk:.:Moon ~]

Her small form sat silent in the dark. Her tortie pelt rippling in the soft wind. Bitterness flowed from her heart. No one else knew how it felt to feel like she did. Duskmoon's eyes stayed locked were they were, survaying silver pelt. Her body shuddered softly, as she fought back the pain. It was so confusing. Glancing down, she watched as her clas gorged threw the thick heather underpaw. How good it would be to feel thoes strands tear under her grip.

But it would never be, so perhapse she should just let it go. Let her bitterness flow out of her. Duskmoon turned back to starclan. She let there light shine across her dark muzzle. She watched as there glowing embers played with the moon. The bitterness did abate, a tiny bit. Starclan was watching. But did they understand. Duskmoon sighed softly, closing her glowing green orbs. why starclan? why did you take this away from me? why wont you let me feel the world around me?

Sometimes Duskmoon wished she had been born blind. Or deph or mute. Than at leats she could tell waht she was walking on. she would always revise thoes wishes though, after relizing she would find bitterness in that as well. Oh the sadness of a cat that would rather be diffrent than normal. As long as that diffrent wasn't what alied her now.Letting out another low sigh, the torie slid down into a crouch, pulling ehr legs underneather her. Settling inot the high grass, Duskmoon decided to just stay out here. Spend a night under silverpelt away from her den and her clan. Not like I have anyone to snuggle with anyway.

[Badgersoul]

{ YOUR TEARS DON'T FALL }
{ THEY CRASH AROUND ME }

A black and white creature loomed uneasily through the moonlit night. It was a large creature, muscles bulging from under it's short pelt. It's paws match it's large frame; pounding the earth with a silent beat. The beat was like a drum; a drum of a warriors. Though this creature seemed to have everything it needed for fighting; this was not it's job. The black-and-white lifeform was the exact opposite of a fighter; he was a healer. The creature had a love from existence, finding much more joy in saving a life then taking one. The creature's amber-green orbs maneuvered towards the moon. It's unsightly creators seems to bulge even more tonight. The stars the twinkled around the candlelit moon; laughing at the deformities that it had.

<3

Badgersoul purred softly at his catch; a large rabbit that could have easily been bigger then an apprentice. Badgersoul glance up at his surroundings; flowers were everywhere. Making the world look like Newleaf; a perfect golden sun gave warm beams down to the ground. A cool wind slithered across this valley; it was all so perfect. " Good Catch " the warm sent of milk and the cold stench of the river made Badgersoul twist around. A beautiful black-and-white she-cat stared over him. Her eyes were a mixture of many different colors, making them look almost purple. Scars plastered her body, each one telling a story. " Why don't you go and haunt some Riverclanner dreams? This has been the tenth time I have seen you, and we don't even share the same clan ".

The battle-scared riverclanner took a few paces forward; " and miss out annoying you? ". The female's voice was deep for a she-cat's. The exact opposite of what you would expect her voice to sound like. Badgersoul flicker his tail annoyedly; " You know; I hear your kits have made warriors- er. Well one of them did; the other three I haven't herd about in a very long time ", " Firelyric will make a great warrior for Riverclan, you Windclanners will have to watch your back. One day; he will become leader of Riverclan and Riverclan will be stronger then then it ever has ", " Is that a prophecy or just you rambling on about random things again, Blackthorn? ". Blackthorn laughed; her fox-like tail swishing back and forth. " Just a mother's rambling " she replied. Badgersoul opened his mouth to talk when suddenly his eyes snapped open.

<3

Blinking; Badgersoul found himself back in his den. The sent of herbs surrounded him alone with the putrid smell of battle wounds coming from Demonheart, who was still asleep in a nest next to his.. Why did he wake up? IT was still nightfall. Badgersoul curled himself deeper into his nest; trying to get back to sleep son he could criticizes Blackthorn for always rambling about her kit, yet sleep didn't come. Badgersoul felt full of energy, and was having a hard time just staying still. Getting up, the tom stretched until he herd the satisfying sound of snapping bones. With one last stretch of the leg; the tom trotted outside of his den to find many cats laying on the ground. To a born Windclanner like Badgersoul; this didn't surprise him. The Windclanners did have dens for shelter, but on nice nights like this the clan of the wind always preferred to sleep under Silverpelt's watchful stare.

Making his way through the sleeping forms of his peers; Badgersoul ran as fast as he could to who knows where. All he knew was that it felt amazing to have the wind blowing on his face, to have the moonlight to guide his steps. Badgersoul stopped when he found himself in the plains. The stale sent of rabbits fluttered through the air, making his mouth water. Then suddenly, Badgersoul realized that he wasn't alone. A beautiful Tortoiseshell was laying in the grass. For some warriors, it would take many minutes for them to recognize there comrade. But Badgersoul wasn't a warrior, he was a medicine cat. He knew exactly who his peer was. Slowly, the large tom made his way closer to the she-cat. His amber-green eyes unreadable under the moonlight.

" Duskmoon? What are you doing out so late? " The words were harshly spoken. Badgersoul was known for his awful attitude; he always seemed to be in a bad mood. " A cat like you should not be out alone" the truth was that a cat who couldn't feel shouldn't be a warrior at all. Out here, Duskmoon wouldn't be able to feel if a fox or cat was sneaking up behind her, or if a snake was sliding through the grass, nor could she tell if the temperature was to cold or to hot for her body to handle.

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[~ Dusk:.:Moon ~]

the breeze blew soft and shy threw the torie's ears. Brushing the fur along her muzzle, revealing to her secret mysterys. The scents of the world, so soft and fragile it seemed. Duskmoon blinked, her wide green eyes snapping open again when a sudden sound came to her attention.

" Duskmoon? What are you doing out so late? "

She jumped slightly, prepared to run at a moments notice. paws at one moment relaxed now shuddered slightly under her wieght. Duskmoon was on her paws and twisted around before the words here finished. The thin she-cat blinked in suprise. A large black and white tom stood before her. The perfect warrior, who was an even better medicine cat."I could ask you the same qustion" she said crossly, frowning.

She flicked her dark ears. Eyes narrowing slightly, Duskmoon snorted. Whiskers twitching she sat down again, sure that Badgersoul wouldn't eat her. She eyed him... maybe... The tortiseshell returned her gaze to the stars. "Its too nice a night to sit in camp."she murmured. "I thought id come out here and find a nice place to rest instead" Duskmoon nodded her dappled head towards the soft heather infront of her. It wasn't the real reason she came out here. No. She just wanted ot be alone. To think. To dream, without bieng forced to agnoladge her... defomity.

" A cat like you should not be out alone"

Every muscle in the small cats body tightened. Her claws ripped threw the heather. Could she not escape it? Two scentences and the issue was already apparent in her mind once again. Fury leaked into her heart. Not at Badgersoul. it wasn't his fault, he did have a point. Maybe she was mad at herself. Her own body gone traitor. Hatful things ran threw her mind as she glared coldly up at the stars. Fighting back the fury, Duskmoon transfered that hardened gaze to Badgersoul's green orbs.

"You have a point" she mewed, her eyes growing colder. "But I came out here to forget, for a little wile." the dappled she-cat turned her back on the medicine cat, her tail curling around her snowy paws as she sat down again. "And if your only going to tell me to go to camp because im to much of a reck to walk by myself than maybe you should just leave" she snapped, hackles bristling. She may act kindly, and soft hearted in camp.. but out here, away from the fuss she didn't have to hide how she felt.

Bitter, cold, angry. So very frustrated. Lost. Lost to the coldness of the gleaming white stars. Silverpelt seemed so nice, at first glance. But look again. Look and stare. Can you see how the white gets colder and harsher, untill it burns you eyes?

Just leave

[Badgersoul]

{ YOUR TEARS DON'T FALL }
{ THEY CRASH AROUND ME }

A cold wind stalked the two felines; hissing threats and warnings through bared teeth. A threat of Leaffall; a warning of starvation and death. It's long paws slashed at trees and at the grass; it's tail lashing at the clouds, it's clear pelt pressing up against the two lifeforms. It was angry at the world for what it was; a lonely lifeforms that can be seen by no one. Letting out a yowl of anger; the wind turn it hatred on the two Windclaners, howling, scratching, biting- everything the invisible creature could do. To make the living things acknowledge it. Like a kit wanting attention from his mother.

<3

Badgersoul shivered as the wind penetrated through his dense pelt. Soon Greenleaf would be over and the whole clan would be sick and starving. For all cats of the clan, except maybe Riverclan, Leafbare was a time of suffering and defeat. None of the clans looked forward to it, mainly the medicine cats. Badgersoul could still remember his first leafbare, how much suffering and sickness there was. When you first become a medicine cat, you believe that you can do anything. Yet as Leafbare goes by, you realizes how weak you really are. How many lives you could have saved if you would have done one thing differently. A wise cat once said that the medicines cat suffer more then the ones they heal. This quote could never be so true.

Everyday; Badgersoul had to live with the thought of the ones he could have saved. Goldenpaw, Silverstar, Shadowstone, Sunset, Otterpaw, and so many others died at his paws. The spirits of his fallen comrades haunting his dreams every night. Even Blackthorn haunted his dream, killing her by decided to stay in Windclan instead of asking for herbs from Lilyfeather. Such decisions such as these, for a medicine cat, are all life or death situations. Even now, standing out here with the tortoiseshell; he could be killing anyone of his clan members.

<3

Badgersoul shivered again; this time at his own haunting thoughts. Amber-green orbs looking into forest-green eyes. Badgersoul listened without even a flick of the tail; it wasn't often the medicine cat was yelled at. Most of the time he did the yelling. Duskmoon was usually a very nice she-cat. Demonheart often talked about her and how she reminded him of his mate in Thunderclan, Burningwing. The midnight-black tom was always talking about her. After breaking his leg in a battle against a few loners, he had been crammed up in Badgersoul's den for nearly a moon now, and he WOULDN'T SHUT UP!

Badgersoul waited until the she-cat was done hissing at him before beaning. "And if your only going to tell me to go to camp because I'm to much of a wreck to walk by myself than maybe you should just leave". " Yes I am going to tell you to go back to camp, and no I won't leave! " he spat back, his hackles rising and fur spiking out. " and I am your medicine cat! So you have no choice but to listen " Badgersoul hissed. Why did warriors always think they were so tough? No cat was immortal, at least no on earth. Yet Warriors always seemed to think they were invincible, running into battle after battle; and doing things that jeopardized their health.

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[~ Dusk:.:Moon ~]

Yes I am going to tell you to go back to camp, and no I won't leave!

Duskmoon stared at him, her green orbs searching. Badgersoul was such a crude cat. Snappish and very direct. But he was also a true medicine cat. Loyal and brave, as any warrior could be, buthe had... somthing else. A deep knowledge that went beyond battle skills. Badgersould could have made a brilliant warrior had he decided to take that path. He was big enough, strong enough. But the black and white tom had chossen to help his clan thrive in a diffrent way. Fighting with his herbs and his wit. it was endearing. Duskmoon sighed, her ears twitching as the sharp breeze told her it was probably getting colder.

and I am your medicine cat! So you have no choice but to listen!

The toriseshell she-cat chuckled softly, her muzzle twitching as she smiled. No choice. Well he could deffinatly drag her back if he put his mind to it. But could he catch her in the first place? Duskmoon's eyes glinted as the thought accourded to her. Her dark tail twisted, the snow white tip flicking at badersoul's ears. "Your going to make me, I supose?" she mewed, shiffting her emerald orbs back to silver pelt. The breeze picked up again, blasting threw her pelt, whipping her ears around. duskmoon frowned, her small bit of real happiness fading away.

Glancing sideways she made a split second decision. Maybe Badgersoul would understand? Maybe not. "That wind... is it very cold?" she asked, blinking slowly. "Could you tell me what it feels like?" she asked, her pelt standing up slightly, before relization smacked her in the face. her muzzle contorted. "I guess not" Duskmoon turned away. "it would be difficult to explain such things to a cat who would never realy understand" Duskmoon sighed. "I sound like another annoying apprentice with a thorn stuck in her paw. Im sorry if I sound like im whining at you"

"But sometimes I wonder" her voice trailed off, Duskmoon twisted back around ubruptly to stare directly at Badgersoul. "Do you think, I would see everything diffrently...? If I wasn't.... diffrent" she mewed. "Id be odd, I think. Just another soft earted she-cat hovering about camp." she snorted. "To tell you the truth I think the bitterness builds character"

[Badgersoul]

{ YOUR TEARS DON'T FALL }
{ THEY CRASH AROUND ME }

"Your going to make me, I supose?"

<3

Green orbs narrowed into even tight slits; a look that was most certainly a yes to the question. " Leafbare is on it's way; and when it comes half the clan is going to be sick. I don't need another sick cat waltzing around, spreading her illness even before the trees shed their Greenleaf coat " Badgersoul said bluntly. Just as Badgersoul said those words a wind began howling past him once more. " Great Starclan " He hissed under his breath, sinking his claws into the ground to keep himself from being blown off the forest floor. The wind left just like as it came; quickly and suddenly. Sighing; the black and white tom pulled his claws from the earth.

<3

"That wind... is it very cold? Could you tell me what it feels like? I guess not it would be difficult to explain such things to a cat who would never really understand I sound like another annoying apprentice with a thorn stuck in her paw. I'm sorry if I sound like i'm whining at you But sometimes I wonder. Do you think, I would see everything differently...? If I wasn't.... different Id be odd, I think. Just another soft eared she-cat hovering about camp.To tell you the truth I think the bitterness builds character"

<3

Badgersoul felt surprise tickle away through his body. It was a very strange question to ask, and a question the would be very hard to answer. Getting to his paws; Badgersoul moved closer to Duskmoon. Pressing his pelt against her's and wrapping his tail around her cold body. " You are getting cold; we should be heading back soon " he said angrily, not at her, but at letting her stay out for so long. Sighing once more; Badgersoul started to talk again. " The wind... let's see " glancing around, Badgersoul noticed the grass waving back and forth. " Look at the grass. Each time the wind blows it pushing you forward, just like that, making it hard to control your own body. It can feel life- do you know when it rains? how it looks; or how the ground looks during a drought? Well- sometimes the wind dries your skin out like the ground. Like the dirt, when it starts to crack, being dry feels like your skin is cracking. Going in two separate directions, splitting your very being apart "

Badgersoul lifted a paw; showing his own cracked paws. A fresh skin of herbs had been applied to the cracks; but the harsh indents were still very viable. " The wind didn't do this; but it can to the nose and the face area, and when it dose happens, it hurts. Pain is a whole different subject; the closes thing that I have ever felt to a flesh wound is the pain of being alone. To having no one to be with, or to talk to. As a medicine cat you are never alone, you are closer to Starclan then any other cat. Yet you still urn for the feel of another cat's pelt when you fall asleep. In that case you can feel it in your heart and pit of your stomach; just imagine that pain on your flesh. Badgersoul closed his orbs for a minute; then turned his glare back down on the cat. Amber eyes blazing with the same intensity as they had before.

" Yes you would be different, and to tell you the truth I would rather you be a soft eared she-cat " Badgersoul said, turning his gaze back on the mocking stars above his head " but we can't change who we are; no matter how hard we try. Our paths are all align to the rules and guidelines of Starclan, they made us how they wanted us to be. So in the end; no matter how hard you wish or crave. Nothing will ever change. You just need to accept who you are and find friends who also accept both good and bad points "

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