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[Badgersoul]

β г ё α ĸ | m ё

^{No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away Don't put
your life in someone's hands
They're bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes 'Cause
they'll find you, burn you Then
he said If you want to get out alive
Run for your life} [/center]

Shard's colored colored eyes stared silently at the darkness surrounding her. They looked so empty, as it they were death. Frozen in time; darkness, fear, blood, the eyes have been through many things yet seen none of them. Shard's black pelt matched that of the shadow she sat in. Her pelt was a comment color; a raven color. Yet hers seemed so different. Her pelt was somewhat longer then most cats; getting longer as it traveled down her tail and under belly. Oh how beautiful she was; everything about her. Many of her "features" were so common; yet why did they look so different on her? why was she so much more beautiful then others?

Shard slowly got up from where she laid. Her small paws indenting the earth bellow her; marking it with her presence. Mud coverd her small, delicate paws her her underbelly. Making her perfect appearance off. Shard didn't mind though; she was off. She was perfectly different and beautifully broken. She cared not what others thought of her because most likely they would be dead in her presence. Shard loved the death of cats. It was one thing she could control in her life; warm stick blood, screams of terror, pleads; yes- she didn't need her sight for it.

Shard walked silently through the Shadow's marsh. The disgusting smell of clan cats covered the marsh; she must have just missed a patrol. Shard knew that getting caught by a patrol would be deadly for any cat; the number of clan cats verses her- it really wasn't the best of ideas to confront that many cats. At least alone. Shard's clouded eyes stared in front of her to make the illusion that Shard wasn't blind. Her tail dragged behind her, as if she was to weak to even pull it up. But those who had herd her story would no she wasn't weak; she was strong- powerful- and lusting after your blood.

Shard turned her "gaze" over to the right; her small black nose had picked up a scent. Slowly the she-cat walked closer to the scent. Soon Shard came a pone Fragmentpaw. Memories of the past filled up Shard's head as she listened to the cat's heart beat. Fragmentpaw smelt so much like Shard's beautiful Meer, she was her daughter after all. Shard wanted to jump down and press her flanks with the apprentice but Shard knew if Fragmentpaw returned to camp with the sent of a loner on her pelt. She would be even more of an outcast and Shard didn't want to cause any more pain for the little sandy she-cat.

Shard sat there Listening to Fragmentpaw's heart beat as she rased off after prey for a while. Until the scent left; leaving Shard once again alone. A pain suddenly stuck through Shard's body; she wanted her own kits to be around her. Yet they were growing up; how Shard wished to have more kits of her own. Yet what cat would dare even look at her? She was a murderer, a blood lusting loner, an outcast, a reject. No- she wasn't very likable. Only a very few amount of cats and loved her, even many of her own teammates only followed her because they feared her. Shard let out a shaky sigh and laid down once more; the mud hooking onto her chin and throat. She looked pathetic in the mud; like a skinny broken toy. Slowly teh loner drifted off into a nightmare filled dream.

Ohohsee: Anyone can post! =][/size]

[Ferny]

((OK I'll try, keep in mind I ish tired. x.x lol))

Some kill themselves because others call them weak...

...but I ask you, Isn't death the weak way out?

Jay's brilliant blue eyes stared blindly ahead of him, unfocused and confused. He wasn't blind, nothing near it, but life wise you could say he was. He had no family, and no friends to make up for the empty space in his life. He was never much of a cat to just hang out with one cat, or a group. His instincts for travel were much stronger, carrying him across the clan lands and the kittypet yards. He was a fantastic climber, he had to be because of his stark white coat. His pelt wasn't short, or even really long, it was a beautiful white fluff, perfect for hidding in snow and horrible for forests.

Jay flexed his claws, gazing down from one of the highest branches in the tree he sat in. If it wasn't for the trees he would have been dead long ago. You could say that the trees were his paths through clan territory, hidding him when his pelt wouldn't. He wasn't bloodthirsty, using the trees to drop down onto his victoms, no he prefered to watch. And that's what he did, he let his keen gaze follow a dark shillouette along the Shadowclan forest floor. Rogue or loner? he considered. He lifted a paw and licked it, running it across his face.

No one cares right? Jay stopped cleaning his face and stared streight ahead of him. Not you again. You know you can't get rid of me Jay Frost. I was your foster mother and I will stay here for all your life. Fantastic. It was just the beginning of the young loners day and he was alreidy haveing a mental moment. He grunted and hug his head over the edge ofthe branch, why did he have to be haunted by his dead foster mothers voice? No one knew, in fact no one but himself knew he heard the voices.

The massive white tom cat pushed himself up so he stood on the branch, tail waving so he wouldn't lose his balance. Time to move on but his gaze flickered back to the shape on the forest floor. He crouched and launched himself off of his high perch, landing gracefuly on the next branch. He looked down, and now to move lower in the canopy. But before he could move the scent of a different caught his attention, looking up for a split second he watched Fragmentpaw dissapear. He swallowed nervously and continued to make his way, slowly, down the tree. Just get lower and move on, no need to speak to this loner.

But his plans were foiled, the next branch he moved to wasn't strong enough to hold his weight. He gasped as the branch broke away, sending him spiraling towards the ground. He swung his tail around to right himself, and landed with a thud on his paws, but then keeling over onto his side. Graceful! Shut it!

[/i] He grimaced and looked up, the shape, Shard, was just a few fox lengths from him. He had never met this she-cat before but worried he might have startled her. Lets just hope she does't rip your pelt off[/color][/center][/size]

[Badgersoul]

β г ё α ĸ | m ё

^{No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away Don't put
your life in someone's hands
They're bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes 'Cause
they'll find you, burn you Then
he said If you want to get out alive
Run for your life} [/center]

It seems that you have returned Shard turned to see her brother; his dark orange pelt shone like the star he was named after. Sunpelt; Where was she? Thunderclan- no! Suddenly many cats appeared; there eyes sockets empty, just like Meer's. Teardrop, Snaketail, Sharkfang, Sapphireheart, Blackpelt . So many cat's she knew- there scent over whelmed her. Burning her throat and making her cry out in pain. Each one of there voices whispered through her head, like a broken melody- different screts, different songs. Overwhelming, Overstimulating. S-Stay Back!. She tried to yowl; but her voice came out like a whisper. AS if her voice had been caught off; she could see, she could smell, she could hear, she could taste the dream. Making her twitch in her sleep.

Shard turned and ran; her small paws making loud sounds as she raced across the forest floor. come back! no- she had to run. To keep running. Wake up- wake up! Shard looked back to see no one was following her, but before she could stop she tripped on a tree root. Sending her sparling into the air. Pain shot up through Shard as her body hit the surface of the water. Sinking deep into the water. She tried to move, but her body was paralyzed- she could breath, she couldn't talk. She looked up to see that shadow of her eyeless friends staring down at her. Blind, blood dripping into the water. die!. The sound of Jay falling from the tree made Shard slowly wake; coming back to the land of the living. The land of darkness.

Slowly the she-cat lifted her head; her head felt heavy from the mud that had laced itself into Shard's pelt. Shard's cream white eyes grew wide at the scent of an unknown loner;thud, thud, thud,thud; the sound of a beating heart. The sound made the she-cat fill with joy; a cat- an unknown cat; blood- heart; warmth. Broken thoughts entered her mind, mocking her. laughing at her- she would show them. She would. Shard slowly got up; her muscles tensing excitedly at the thought of tearing open the tom in front of her. Her milky white eyes moved towards the heart; making it seem like her empty eyes were staring straight into the tom's eyes.

Her beautiful black pelt hung around her from lake of nutrient; the lack of will to eat. The she-cat's muse to live was fading fast. Her muse to do anything, to eat, to talk, to walk, to breath- it was as if nothing was worth doing anything anymore. The black cat's tail slide through the mud like a black adder; her small paws like stones in the mud. "What is a loner doing all the way out here?" her voice was strange. Like it should belong to a beautiful angel; an insane angel.

[/size]

[Ferny]

You know better than to jump into a cats life Jay! You jumped into mine! I saved you from drownding in winter, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be alive. Your father didn't care about you, your mother hated you, I love you. I know I'm sorry

[/i]. His eyes glazed over with fear, was this cat going to kill him? She was unmoving though, in a deep nightmare dream. He shivered, tail quivering as he atempted to stand.

His atempt was sad, sliping in the slight mud, causing him to fall onto his chest. His white fur was clotted with mud, his fur now hanging in clumps against his scarred skin. He had been in many fights in his lifetime, all with toms, he hated fighting with she-cats. You hate fighting with she-cats cause one saved your life. And one tried to end it[/i]. He swallowed and flexed his claws, his heart beating faster as the she cat seemed to wake from her uneasy sleep.

His icey blue eyes focused once again as he pulled his mind from his thoughts. The she cat wasn't ugly, she was quite beautiful. Her eyes were cloudy, Must be blind. She was black, he was white, like an old movie. He let his eyes travel from the loner she-cat to his once white pelt, he sighed, this would take ages to clean. Don't fear her, remember what I taught you. Cats can smell fear. He lifted his head higher and assesed the situation, what did he have to fear? She was blind, he wasn't.

He shook his head Even though she is blind she is strong, or so I hope. He looked to Shards fragile looking form. He knew she was blind but it didn't keep him from showing respect one of the only ways he knew how. He dipped his head slightly towards the female, maybe she would hear the shift of his clumped pelt, or a vibration in the ground. "Evening." He paused, what else to say? Like you were talking with an old friend. "I'm just passing through, the name's Jay."[/color][/center][/size]

[Badgersoul]

β г ё α ĸ | m ё

^{No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away Don't put
your life in someone's hands
They're bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes 'Cause
they'll find you, burn you Then
he said If you want to get out alive
Run for your life} [/center]

Shard was quite confused at his strange voice; he wasn't scared. Or was he? He was hiding something- something that hide deep within his own mind; a place Shard would never be able to reach. Shard listened closely for any hint, any clue what the tom felt. This made Shard mad, she hated when she wasn't in control. When she couldn't since what the cat's emotions were. This tom seemed to be a master at puppeting his emotions; but Shard was better. Letting out a mrrow of laughter; Shard stalked closer to... what was his name? Jay

"Passing through? Through to were? " Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, making her sound even more insane. Shard stopped a few mice tails away from the cat. His scent made her quiver; thud, thud, thud, thud; Another crack of laughter. "A loner like you shouldn't need to pass through such a place like this; Marshes are a place for the scavengers. Looking for the dead, the wounded ,and the young". Her voice was so strange; There were many ways to explain what her voice was , yet none to tell how it sounded. A puzzle missing a piece, an angel with only one wing, A tww-leg with it's mouth sown up, A fish with no gills; Yes many many ways to tell what her voice was.

Shard started to circle the tom; tail dragging behind her- gathering more mud. Kill him, Kill him not, Kill him, Kill him not; Shard was growing more and more insane by the second. Her heart broken the day she ran from her beloved him;Kill him, Kill him not, Kill him, Kill him not. She wanted to make them pay; she wanted them all to pay. Kill him, Kill him not, Kill him, Kill him not She wanted to break them; to feel there bones crush under her paws ;Kill him, Kill him not, Kill him, Kill him not. Yet at the same time; she wanted to be accepted by them Kill him, Kill him not, Kill him, Kill him not.

Shard turned towards the sky at the sudden sound of a raven cawing. Shard purred; she loved the feeling -fear. It was such a strange emotion. So many different ways to use it; so many definitions: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights. concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety. reverential awe, esp. towards Starclan. that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear. to regard with fear; be afraid of. to have reverential awe of. Archaic. to experience fear in (oneself). to have fear; be afraid.

So many, many definitions. All meaning different things; alarm, anxiety, apprehension, awe, bogey, bugaboo, bugbear, chimera, consternation, cowardliness, dismay, disquietude, dread, fright, frisson, horror, hobgoblin, misgiving, panic, phobia, pusillanimity, qualm, reverence, solicitude, terror, timidity, trepidation, veneration. All words that meant the same thing. Fear- Fear- Fear.

[/size]

[Ferny]

She's insane! You must leave here imidiatly Jay Frost! But he ignored the voice in his head, the only she cat he truly trusted. He threw his fear out the door and let it crawl away, so he could sucsessufly hide his emotions. What are you standing there for! She is going to kill. You Jay slid his tail closer, letting his eyes lock on her unseeing ones. I do not fear her. I respect her. Respect!

He took a deep breath, an atempt to slow his heart beat. He stayed calm, just watching as the she-cat slid closer, parting her jaws and speaking in a very strange voice. The voice of lost maybe? Has she lost somone? He kept watching her Someone hurt her... They were just minor guesses, guesses that he probebly wouldn't know the answer to. His ears flicked back as she passed behind him. Pacing, circling, probebly a sign of..hatred? Fear? Curiosity? He wasn't sure.

He had killed cats in his past, quite a few at that. But ne never killed for pleasure, only for defense, and once for revenge. He had his own list of stuff to be ashamed of, but none he would let get to him. "I am a loner. But I am not searching for defenseless cats to prey upon". His voice was calm, smooth, and confident. It was in no way teasing, more like kind. Like a mother trying to calm her crying baby, a comforting sound. "I have no one to watch after, no one to strike down as revenge". He stayed still, and then sat. I don't want this cat to be threatened in any way.

How could you respect this...bloodthirsty cat! You don't know that. I can sense it. As can I but every cat deserves a chance.

[/i] He took another deep breath, his heart beat was no longer racing. It was even, calm, like a seasoned pro. He let his muscles relax, if he was tense she might think he was coiled to spring. No, no he didn't want that, if it came down to a fight he would but untill then he didn't want to hurt this fea. [/center][/size][/color]

[Badgersoul]

β г ё α ĸ | m ё

^{No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away Don't put
your life in someone's hands
They're bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes 'Cause
they'll find you, burn you Then
he said If you want to get out alive
Run for your life} [/center]

Shard was once again confused; he isn't afraid, he isn't afraid- why? why isn't he running; like the prey that he truly is? Is he like me? Alone; dead- His heart beat is steady, his muscles relaxed, his voice calmed- he isn't afraid The thought of someone finally not being afraid of her made Shard also relax. Her muscles untensed, her eyes growing tired in place of the lust she felt. As if her blood lust had overextended her life on this forsaken world. If he dosen't fear me; what dose he see in me. Dose he see a broken toy? a peice of prey? a fallen goddess? A muddy patch of fur? Slowly she started to calm down; to relax- to look like her old self.

Her once dark, insane looking body became delicate, like that of a flower. Her eyes glowed with somnolent; yet some how it made her look even more radiant. Her long, fox-like tail; poetic. Even though it was laced with mud. Shard turned her head back towards the giant white tom. Her white eyes looking deep into Jay's blue ones; as if she was reading him inside out. She looked so soft now, so broken, so pathetic once more. punishment; why is it that every thing must fall down? Why is it that the stars can stay up in the sky where no cat can reach them? Her broken thoughts begin to once again fill her head. Mocking her; but this time she was to tired to fight back your pathetic; you are broken, you are an emotionless zombie, you are nothing but a scrap of fur, why are you still living She criticized herself.

"You seem to not have been broken yet" Shard's voice was shaky; like that of a Two-leg is about to cry. A sudden lash of lightning and a roll of thunder; the scent of water drifting in the air. Soon it began to rain. As if the sky above were as crestfallen as the black little she-cat. Shard closed her eyes; allowing the cold liquid to fall a pone her pelt. Letting the sky's tears roll down her pelt; removing the mud that covered her pelt. Letting the thunder boom; making her heart thud. Imagining the flash of lightning striking through the afternoon sky.

[/size]

[Ferny]

Amainzing. Really Jay how did you do that? Do what? Make her not want to kill you! Make her calm down. I was myself

[/i]. He wasn't proud, not booming with confidence he was simply letting himself stay calm. His heart wasn't racing; he wasn't scared. His claws weren't flexing; for he wasn't anticipating an attack. His eyes weren't wild, weren't, deadly; he was calm. As Shard passed by behind him he looked over his shoulder, mud plastered shoulder pressing against his white cheek.

She was relaxing, maybe she was drifting back to the way she used to be. A small half smile forced it's way through to show on his muddy face. Kindness is the key. He lifted his mudd filled tail and let it lay over his paws with a small 'slop'. Something like, pain, crossed the now delicate looking she-cats face. His smile was now long gone, in the past, non existant. Why was she in pain? Or was it pain? Pain, anger, hate? Love, lonliness, sorrow? He wasn't quite sure.

His eyes followed hers sadly as he turned her words over in his mind. 'You seem to not have been broken yet' Oh but I have. He swallowed, ears flicking backwards, his shield faltered. Oh but I have.... He blinked sadly, "Oh but I have." But it depends on what she counts as broken. I watched my foster mother die, my family rejected me. What else? Oh right, the only friend I had tried to kill me, so I had to kill her myself. "But what is it you count as breaking? Lossing everything you ever had. Or having to kill the one you loved?"[/color][/center][/size]

[Badgersoul]

β г ё α ĸ | m ё

^{No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away Don't put
your life in someone's hands
They're bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes 'Cause
they'll find you, burn you Then
he said If you want to get out alive
Run for your life} [/center]

Shard's opened her clouded eyes to stare at Jay; though darkness surrounded her. Shard knew how to get around perfectly well, maybe even better then most cats. Using her three other senses, enhanced to make up for the missing one, she could tell where Jay was. Shard had many, many moons of practicing this skill thought- until she was a master. Scenting, Listening for heart beats, tasting the air; yes she really did have a way of getting around. Some would pity her for losing her sight; for having to use her other senses to make up for the one she lost all those moons ago; but she didn't care. Though she did miss the sight of others; it really didn't effect her life much. At least not in a negative way.

.Oh but I have. Shard was surprised by his words. What was he talking about? He was merely a kit compared to Shard;.But what is it you count as breaking? Lossing everything you ever had. Or having to kill the one you loved?. Shard laughed at this; her laughter rung out. Drowning out the sound of falling rain. Shard sat down in front of Jay; licking her raven-black chest. A deep rumble coming from her. "Deary" she sounded so different, yet her voice still like the way it was before. A love without a happy ending, a cat without it's whispers, the thunder without the lightning, the rain without the clouds, the moon without the stars.

"To be broken; is something you would hope to never have to experience. The be broken; blood splattering onto the snow covered ground, haunting footsteps of the paranoid, the hateful burning of the stars on your back, simple treasures being torn away from you, running away from your past, losing the will to live, to break; to hurt;to love;to die;to bleed;to be left alone in darkness" Shard stopped her grooming to stare hauntingly up at the Tom. Eyes warning him, flashing a glimpse of pain before hiding in clouds once more.

[/size]

[Ferny]

There is something your not telling her. What would that be? The beating you took by the one you really truly loved. The scars you bear benith your pelt from the rejections of the clan cats. The emotional scars you were given by a cold rejection. The rejection from your father, mother, the world. I don't know what your talking about. You do. You just don't admit it now do you?

[/i]

Jay's shoulders slumped, his breathing lowered and his eyes became dull. Right He had worked for moons to try to put his sad past behind him. It wasn't as sad as some cats, but it was sad enough. 'Deary'. He looked up, was she going to mock him? Would he feel comfortable telling this loner what happened to him? Maybe. His ears flicked back, yes his shield was officialy gone. He no longer held his head high, shielding his emotions, he was now, completly, open. He looked away, not meeting the she-cats blind eyes.

He listened uneasily to Shards 'to be broken'. He shivered, the stars did not burn on his back, and he wasn't parinoid, he didn't think. He waited for a few moments before looking up into Shards haunted eyes, then away again. "I may not be broken. But I am cracked." He took a deep breath, letting his lungs inflate completly before speaking of his own past to this unknown she-cat. "When I was a kit my mother abandoned me. My father tried to kill me by pushing me into an Ice filled creek. The cat that saved me, my foster mother, was killed by a clan cat right in front of my eyes. Other cats have attacked me, scarring my skin. I fell for a Riverclan she-cat, then she tried to kill me." He paused, letting his hollow eyes drift back to Shards, "I had to kill her before she killed me. She was the only one I have ever loved. I have been shunned by the clans, shamed by the rogues and ignored by loners. I have killed many cats, why? No. One. Knows."[/center][/size][/color]