Regret

[amberkit]

Autumn walked silently under the charred skeleton on a tree, and glanced at the house. It had been three moons since the fire, and Autumn still felt the loss of her home as sharply as ever. "Who ever said pain fades with time was lying." She muttered darkly. She sat, staring at it, remembering everything that ever happened. She thought about all the rouges and clan cats she'd chased away from her garden, all the times she'd made her two legs laugh. Each was like a weight, and each memory caused her heart sank a little more. Now, instead of chasing away clan cats, she was taking charity from them. Autumn let her shoulder's and head sag with the shame of it all. "I couldn't protect you... I'm sorry..." She said softly, and felt as if someone had shoved a knife through her. The guilt was overwhelming her, and it felt like a dam of emotion in her had been broken. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." She began saying the same thing over and over, getting louder and louder until she let out a wail. It echoed through the ruined property, and it carried all Autumn's guilt in it. If she could, she would have been sobbing. Slowly the wailing stopped, and all was quiet except for sound of paw steps. Autumn glanced around, standing up instantly. "Who's there?" she called, her voice trembling with sorrow and anger.

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]A small black kitten came out of the bushes. The burnt down bilding brought stinging tears to her eyes, but they didn't fall. She didn't let them fall. For a while she just stared at the scarred she-cat, she looked familiar but for all the new markings on her, and then blinked. She smiled softly. "I'm Midnight," she mewed. "Was this your home?"[/glow]


OOC: I seem to be following you around, don't I? XD ;D

[amberkit]

(I noticed *Gives a mock suspicious look*)

Autumn let her fur go down and went a little deeper into the shadows when she saw it was a kittypet. "Yes this was my home." She said softly. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a home?" Autumn asked. She sometimes had trouble understanding other house cats who thought two legs were their owners and not the other way around.

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]"I'm allowed to walk around, aren't I?" laughed Midnight. "And 'sides, I wanted to explore a bit. This is a bit of land I never saw afore." She c o c k e d her head. "What's your name?" She didn't expect an answer; older cats usually just ignored her.[/glow]

OOC: *mock innocent look* What?

[amberkit]

"Autumn," Autumn replied. This little cat irritated her with her easy going nature. "It depends on what your trying to explore. For instantce, this is an off limits place. Besides, don't you have two legs to look after?"

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]Midnight giggled. "Me? Take care of my twolegs? What canned food have you been eating? My twolegs take care of me, not the other way around!" She didn't understand what this cat was talking about, both about exploring and twolegs. She was always allowed to explore, other house cats didn't mind her stalking around. All she wanted were some friends. And how could she take care of her twolegs? That was Silver's job, and she hadn't seen him in ages. She sniffed back a sneeze, and strange smells followed; she screwed up her face, trying to figure it out.[/glow]

[amberkit]

"Canned food? No wonder you don't try to protect them." Autumn said, making a face. She had always had dry food herself, and couldn't stand that mushy stuff. She noticed Midnight's expression and glanced around, alert. "What is it?" she asked.

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]Midnight blinked again. "You smell funny," she mewed simply. "Where've you been? Don't you clean yourself?" She knew it was rude, but she needed to know! Her owners didn't like her associating with dirty forest cats.[/glow]

[amberkit]

Autumn felt her fur bristle. Who did this rude little kit think she was! "I recently feel in river, so yes, I'm clean." She growled, standing up. "Now get out of here. I don't like cats without manners or jobs to bother ground my two legs played upon." She narrowed her eyes, prepared to chase this kit out if necessary.

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]"I do too have manners!" shouted an indignant Midnight. "Any cat could see that!" With a huff she ran into the bushes, then turned and poked her head out again. She couldn't stay mad for long; it wasn't for her. "If it helps, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to insult you, or your twolegs. And for the record, you still smell funny. Not like the other house cats, more like a..." She blinked in astonishment. "A forest cat!" Excitement bubbled up inside her, as well as questions. Turf entered her mind--the small cat who was looking for RiverClan. "You've been franchising with forest cats! What were they like? Were they nice? Were they clean? Healthy?" She relaly wanted to know, and didn't want to come off as scrutinish. She was interested in the forest.[/glow]

[amberkit]

At first, Autumn rebuke the house cat for her poor manners again, but decided against it. "Some are nice, and mostly they're curious. They didn't treat me badly, but that was because they don't consider me very threatening at the moment. They're as clean as can be expected, though they have a rugged look to them. They appeared healthy, and are lean instead of plump." She gave Midnight a curious look. "Why do you ask?"

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]Suddenly the kitten fell silent. Could she trust this cat? She had only just met her, but...she seemed to be able to keep a secret. "Well...promise you won't tell anyone?"[/glow]

[amberkit]

"Who would I tell? It's not like I'm entertaining anyone these days by telling other people's secrets." Autumn said sarcastically. "Don't worry, any of your secrets are safe with me."

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]Midnight sighed with relief. She could trust this cat, at least. The only other cat she could--would--trust was her brother, but they had gone seperate ways. "I...I want to join a Clan!" she blurted it out, it had wanted to for so long she just let the words fly out. "I heard of RiverClan, of how they lived and got to fish in the river, their border with ThunderClan, and how they all have so many adventures and take care of themselve without Twolegs! I heard how they were free--not bound by these things!" She pointed at her red collar. "I want it off, and I want to go have fun with the forest cats!"[/glow]

[amberkit]

"It's not all fun and games." Autumn commented. She didn't agree with this kit on many of the issues she brought up. In her opinion collars were like badges of honor. Still, she prefered not to fight at the moment. "They don't become lean because they eat well. It's tough, and they won't view as an equal." She remembered how the clan cats had viewed her, and she was filled with resentment at it. "You'll struggle to prove your worth. Do you think you could do it?"

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]Midnight nodded enthuisastically. "I think I can do it, and I've always been told to follow my heart. My heart is telling me to go." She sighed. "I don't want to leave Sara, she's been so good to me, but I want this." She looked up at the sky and grinned. "We were always dreaming, my brother and I. Of what we would do once we were grown up." She turned back to Autumn. "I'm turning nine moons in three days; I'm ready. I can do it."[/glow]

[amberkit]

"Well they start training their apprentices at six moons, so you'd be behind." Autumn said, thinking about everything she'd heard about clan cats. "I wouldn't stay here much longer if I were you."

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]"So?" Midnight scoffed. "I could catch up!" She c o c k e d her head. "Why shouldn't I stay? Is something wrong?" She thought for a second. "If you want to be alone, now, I'll go."[/glow]

[amberkit]

"It's not that," Autumn said before remembering she had wnated to be alone. "It's just something you should now. The longer you wait, the less likely it is they'll accept. You don't have to go now, just in the next couple of days."

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]"Oh." Midnight blink her eyes twice, then mewed, "You wanna come with me, Autumn? It'll be lotsa fun!"[/glow]

[amberkit]

"Me, leave this place? Never." Autumn said, sounding both amused and surprised. She looked towards the ruined house, smiling at some fond memory. "This is my home. I grew up here, and it is this place that I pledged to protect along with my two legs. I failed to protect them, and the house is all but gone now. Still, I will protect what remains for as long as I can."

[Nightfur and Co.]

[glow=red,2,300]"I understand," said Midnight, then turned to go. "Do...d'yah think they'll let me join?" she asked uncertainly. "I mean...about what you said, me proving my worth? D'yah think they'll let me stay long enough to do that?"[/glow]

[amberkit]

Autumn thought for a moment, her expression hidden by the shadows. She never liked anyone seeing her face, and often kept to herself. It felt strange talking to another cat so freely. "I don't know." She said honestly. "It'll be tough, but I think they might give you a chance. You'll probably make friends who'll stick up for you. Either way, you should try. A brave cat dies only once, but a coward dies a thousand times." She wasn't sure this helped, and watched for Midnight's reaction.

[Nightfur and Co.]

Midnight nodded solemnly. "Thanks for the advice, Autumn. See you around. Say goodbye to Sara for me, would'cha? Three houses down." With that the black cat dashed into the bushes, making them shake. I can do this, I can do this! She was headed for RiverClan territory, and freedom.