Down on your {knees}

[~All I Need]

Aviator 10

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[glow=aqua,4,000]♥[/glow]
>Here you are down on your knees again<
>Trying to find air to breathe again<

I am just a breathe away. . . Just a step away. . . Losing my faith today. . . Falling off of the edge today. . .

She needed a hero. Not the kind that saved your life just in the nick of time, but the kind that healed your heart. That gave you a purpose. Someone to love, possibly? But she had that, she had all of that--then it was gone. Everything in this world had a cycle; hers had passed on by. And it had passed with the life of a dear friend, a companion, a purpose. That purpose had died with the agony of his family's expectations on his shoulders; he had never been given the chance to shine. It was only when he was with Aviator that he was himself, singing quietly under his voice and face beaming. And it was when she was with 5 that she could be true to herself. . .

But who was she now? Now that there was no one to listen.

Was she the worthless kit who had stood by on the sidelines while her whole family was slaughtered; the naïve young femme who had fled while her human's life bled out; or the passive Aviator who didn't defy 1's orders. . . Stay away from us. She didn't want to be any of those, though; all she wished for was happiness. And that was all she had with 5. No matter how wide the space between them could have become, their love would never have been severed. If you can't jump the chasm, go through it. But there was one realm that could tear them apart for good: death. Being completely oblivious to the matters of the afterlife, Aviator found herself believing that there was a nothingness. Like the lighthouse directing lost sailors home. A beam of light taking its familiar course, shining the way. Then, suddenly, the light is extinguished; sailors now are forced to wander the darkness for eternity until they meet their fate in the ocean's frothing depths. Death is an arrogant and prideful foe, and once he has you in his claws. . . You'll never come back.

She was such a coward; however, that wasn't why she so easily complied to 1's demands. . . Aviator couldn't take committment. All of the moons that she had endured losing family, loved ones, over and over again. . . She learned to not hold on to something that could be ripped from your grasp at any second. The Fates could decide to snap the string at any minute they desired. It was a selfish thing to believe, but it got you through life unscathed. Though she and 5 had something that had never before been experienced, it wasn't strong enough to overcome her wretched fear. The instant she felt a complete connection form between them, she took her bearings and fled. But something--no doubt a sentimental part of her that had been kindled by love's flames--had awakened in her that made her orbit around the presence of her lover. And it had always seemed that she would forever be stuck that way.

But what happens to the moon once its sun has been obliterated? Or swallowed into a black hole?; Death! you spiteful fiend! It has no purpose; and so it must drift in an empty space in its own death. For what are we with no drive to conquer?

[glow=aqua,1,000]♥

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" I'm waiting. . .

[/color] "

I don't want to open my eyes.[/color] Her thought was cold and indignant, as if she were afraid to face her heart's deepest desires. But, against her own will, she opened them. Slowly peeling the lids to reveal the most captivating blue orbs ever created. They were marked by rings, much like the way you can age trees. And these rings depicted the moons of wisdom and ageless agony. Though these optical splendors had once been lively and sharp, they were now rusty with the dullness of a worn knife. But the whirlwind of emotions that intermittently overtook them were edged with the sharpest of razors.

It appeared as if she were underwater, staring at a myriad of light fragments dancing along the surface overhead. The water was peaceful and cool against her skin and oddly didn't weigh her down. All Aviator did was drift gently along the current, barely moving but still palpable to the water's movements. The water didn't invade her sensitive eyes and she stared around with awe. The Russian blue wanted to stay in this blue world forever; dreams never last long enough, though. . . And, sometimes, they can become nightmares.

" Open your eyes, 10. . .[/color] "

" They are open, " she muttered, irritated by these ridiculous riddles. Aviator hadn't dreamt like this in moons; why was that voice familiar? Ever since she had lost everything, she had locked everything about him behind bars. But she could hear the insistent rapping and tapping on her chamber door. " Go away. "

" I thought you loved me. . . ? " the water whispered to her, its voice growing stronger and taking form to reseamble a deep voice that was all too familiar. Aviator cringed as icy hands caressed her in her watery grave. You're dead. I have nothing to love about you. Once you're gone, you're gone.[/color]

A pause and then a gentle sigh. The hands released Aviator and she kicked her legs furiously, fighting to breach the surface. Her lungs didn't ache for air and no survival instincts kicked in, but she wanted to be anywhere other than this malevolent trench.

It had seemed like moons before her head broke through the surface, her large paws flailing and the whites of her round eyes showing. Looking to the east, she saw a lovely little beach hugging the treeline of a small city. Farther beyond that, she noticed the metal points of her city. Home. But she didn't want to go there, Aviator only wanted to get out of the water that crooned to her in a vibrato voice. She wasn't going down into its cold depths, not again.

10 lay on the beach, her flank rising and falling quickly with her terror. Her large eyes flickered about, searching for any other spectral being that would awake any memories locked away. The sand was hot beneath her dripping pelt, the strong scent of coconut milk flooded her nostrils, the exotic birds that sat perched in the palm trees whispered their melodies. The small femme was starting to feel at ease. Maybe this really could be a dream--

" Aviator. . . "

The she-cat by that name whipped her head around and snarled, her hackles raised. For the first time--in more than six moons--she saw 5. His pelt had kept its hue and was unmarked by the gory lacerations that had covered it. His one eye was glittering merrily while the place where his other one used to be was hidden by the thick patch he had always worn. Aviator drank his presence in with her eyes, unable to look away. Her heart ached quite painfully as she got to her feet, her legs trembling out of control.

" You're dead, " she whispered, her voice cracked and dry. She had meant to deliver the accusation in a condescending manner, but she didn't have the heart or the energy to point fingers. " You abandoned me. . . "

The tan tom blinked his eye slowly, shock creeping across his face. The tip of his thick tail twitched back and forth in a way you would think of a human pacing. " It wasn't my fault-- "

" Don't give me that! " she screamed, her voice rising in frustration. Though her voice and actions portrayed that she wanted nothing to do with the deceased tom, all her heart wanted was him. Aviator's body wanted to go to him; she wasn't going to allow it. She had to follow her code to life: don't hold on to things that can go away. And 5 could do just that. He had already done that. " Hello, I've missed you quite terribly. "

5 looked down at his dark brown paws and sighed, his pale yellow eye closed in sadness. Slowly, he crept closer and Aviator didn't protest but glared at her feet, refusing to look up at her dead lover. The green scarf tied around her neck caught the stiff wind and reached out at 5 with trembling threads. " Everything in this world has their time, Aviator; mine was up. "

" No, it wasn't, " she muttered stubbornly, her gaze still directed to her paws. The aching in her chest grew more prominent as she heard him draw closer. Unwillingly, she inhaled and her lungs were filled with his scent. If there is a heaven, am I here?[/color] Aviator couldn't stand it any longer and looked back up at 5, her face pained and contorted in agony. " Hold me. . . ? " she barely breathed, her lips barely moving. Face stoic and unmoving, 5 nodded and stepped up besides Aviator, wrapping his long forelegs around her in an embrace. The she-cat buried her face in his shoulder and cried.

" I want you to remember me. And to know that I'm always watching over you. "

" No. " she hissed quietly, her voice indignant.

5 sighed, his breath ruffling her ear fur. " Humor me? Shut the world away and live in your own fantasy. "

Unnerved, Aviator sighed in defeat and nodded. Though she didn't want it to, the thought comforted her greatly. She had also always been the kind to imagine a parallel world of hers that fascinated her and made her dreary life seem better. " Do you promise? "

" I promise; there is nothing I won't give to see this through. "

Aviator whimpered and brought her face up to 5's, her blue eyes boring into his. " I've missed you so much. . . I don't want to wake up. "

" Sorry, love. . . But you have to. "[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[glow=aqua,1,000]♥[/glow]

Give me a shot to remember, and you can take all of the pain away from me.

Avaitor woke with a small gasp, her heart pounding her ribs with the force of the deities of the earth. Bam bam bam! Her blood roared in her ears with the rage of a waterfall--the tongue of the earth screaming its sermons. And her paws lay trembling on the frosty ground, a light dusting of snow lighting them on cold fire. The terror slowly dissipated from her eyes and the snarl slowly peeled away from her lips. Nothing but a cruel, merciless dream. . .

[/color] But 5's rustic scent still wafted through her nostrils and she held on to the memory with all of her dying strength. Such a despicable glutton for punishment.

Stretching, the small gray femme got to her paws to trod to the opposite side of the room where she was able to drink from a fairly stagnant puddle in the corner. 10 had promised herself that she would end all of her meaningless suffering by starving herself to death--or something along the lines of that. But now that she was living in her fantasy world again, she found an ounce of reason in the pandemonium. Being the first time she had any kind of liquid in more than a week, the tepid water tasted delicious and slithered down her parched throat with ease. After a few gulps, she decided to have a few more.

Moonlight was filtering in through the bare beams of the treehouse, iluminating Aviator's temporary safehouse. The strong scent of humans was always present, but Aviator never paid much attention to it. After all, a human had practically raised her. Why did animals dislike them so much?

Suddenly, a phantom shadow passed through the beams of light and cloaked Aviator in darkness momentarily, her blue eyes two orbs of light. She straightened up, her small teeth glinting in the lunar light. The scarf around her neck seemed to grow tighter as she struggled to keep her terror under control.

" Who's there? "[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

tag; JOIN ME OR I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
muse; IT LIVESSSSSSS!!!
notes; i luv aviator soooo much!!
lyrics; again by flyleaf

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[Spook]

Aeronwen

~Now we’re grown up orphans who never knew their names~
~And we don’t belong to no one~
~That’s a shame~

She was still beautiful.

That was the only thing she could still hold on to in this mess that was supposed to be her life. She didn’t know how long she had been walking. The days and nights had turned into one long, sleepless trek over hard cement and tearing grasses. She didn’t even know how far she had gone. Everything seemed to be an illusion for her. Was she really out? Was she even alive?

Or was this her own personal Hell for all the wrong she had done? She sneered slightly in her continuous walk. It was a fitting Hell for someone who had never been outside of a city. She had been living comfortable for her entire life, then all of a sudden, she was walking away with no destination in mind.
Then it hit her. Gwendolyn had killed her. Of course that’s what it was! Gwendolyn had found her escaping the White City and had murdered her ruthlessly. It all made sense. Somehow, knowing that she was dead helped her.

So this was Hell?

She really didn’t care. Her paws were cut and bleeding, they had been for the three past rotations of the sun. She was tired, she hadn’t slept in Queen knows how long. She hadn’t eaten for as long as she hadn’t slept. But she was still beautiful.

That’s all that really mattered to her.

Still in her self-induced trance, the large white cat padded along silently, her mind barely working. Her jaws split in a giant yawn, but she continued. She came to the edge of a road and began to cross. She had seen hundreds of those in her life. She had grown up in a city after all. She was about halfway across when she heard a low growl. She kept walking. There was nothing to worry about if she was already dead, no?

The growl grew louder and her natural instincts, one by one, were starting to click back into place. Her fluffy white form stopped, rigid. All the noise stopped. It was the first time she had heard absolutely nothing in her entire life.

I’m not dead.

No, You’re Aeronwen, Princess of the White Cats.

Daughter of Gwendolyn, The Blood White Queen.

Then why am I here, about to die?

Don’t ask me.

I’m just your conscious.
---------

The High was always beautiful in the winter time, that’s why Fion and Aero had chosen to meet there. The abandoned Human Hall, with its massive, velvet chairs, floor to ceiling windows and mirrors, and Persian carpets, was more than just the White Queen’s meeting chamber, it was beauty incarnate.

And White Cats were drawn to beauty by instinct.

“Fion,” A soft voice whispered from a drape by one of the smaller windows.

The flawlessly white Angora tom whipped his head around to look for the cat that came with the voice.
“Aero? Where are you?” He asked, just as quietly. If Gwendolyn, the White Queen, and Aeronwen’s mother, knew that they were there…

Well, things would not go well.

“The 7th window on the North Side behind the blood red drape,” She answered.

“The tattered one?”

“Yes,” Aero said. She quickly stuck her pristine white head out to signal to Fion where she was.
As silently as a ghost, the Angora slipped across the hall and onto the window ledge. He quickly rasped his tongue over Aeronwen’s ears in a small, yet affectionate greeting.

Aeronwen purred slightly in response, but cut off quickly when she heard a creak from the other end of the High.
“What did you need to tell me, Fion?”

His expression fell and his whiskers twitched in discomfort. He stalled long enough that Aeronwen could hear the howling wind directly on the other side of the glass from them. Knowing, he would answer when he was ready, she looked out the window and watched the activity all around them.

Snow drifted through the gray sky like daisy petals. They were small, but many and littered the ground around the city already. The dark, abandoned buildings stood stark against the hazy sky. Even some of the tops weren’t visible, for the fog hung low. It was one of those dreary, absolutely dismal days where you want to do nothing more than sit by the fire and sleep. Far below the covered tops of the buildings, it appeared as if the snow itself was moving. But that’s how it was the whole year round. Even in the heat of summer, snow flowed through the disused alleys of the city. That’s why it was called such. The White City.

Every cat that wasn’t a stupid, helpless Housepet in the White City was pure as the snow itself. No trace of color ran in a true White Cat’s body. The City had been that way for hundreds of moons. Not until Sparrow at least…

“Gwendolyn has been saying that her council is of no use to her.”
Fion’s smooth baritone voice cut through Aeronwen’s reverie like a knife. Her eyes opened wide in shock.

“What? She can’t do that! The Commoners would revolt! We’d all-“ Aero began to shriek.

Fion’s tail whipped around to cover her mouth. “Hush!” He hissed. “She’s already told the Commoners and they just sopped it up like the pathetic maggots they are.”

Aero lowered her voice to a furious whisper. “But what will become of you and the others?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know, but it’s not us that I’m worried about.”

Aeronwen’s maw dropped in shock. “Me? She can’t do anything to me, I’m her-“

Fion scoffed and cut her off. “Her daughter? You know as well as I do that that won’t stop her. I’m sure you remember a tiny little kit named Sparrow.”

Aero shuddered at the mention of her half sister’s name. She looked out the window again. “What do I have to do?”

Fion closed his eyes tightly to stop tears from falling. “The way I see it there are only two things you can do.”

He paused again.

“You can turn your back on this whole life and run away. That’s the safest option. I don’t know what the Colored Cats will do to you if they found out you were Aeronwen, but it’s probably better than if you stayed.”

“What’s option two,”Aeronwen weakly added. She wanted so desperately to stay.

“Are you ready to become the Blood White Queen?” He asked, looking her straight in the eyes.
----

As soon as Fion had said those words, she had run for her life. She hadn’t known what the world would hold and she hadn’t wanted to leave, but there was no way in Heaven and Hell that she was going to kill her own mother. It was a selfish choice. With one death, she could’ve stopped dozens. But she hadn’t had the heart. She wasn’t going to take the title of the White Queen with her paws stained red. She had hoped that she would be the end of the Blood White legacy, but it was not meant to be.

It was never meant to be, from the moment a little Sparrow had been born as orange as the dying sun.

Now, she stood in front of two massive jaws and a road. She could back up into the busy lane or walk into the drooling chops of a behemoth. She chose the former.

Pulling herself out of her trance, she spun around as fast as her long elegant legs would take her. She dodges in between two roaring cars and onto the other side where she stopped and looked behind her. The massive dog was barking it’s head off, but it had not moved.

It was on a leash.

Aeronwen stopped in shock. She burst into completely relieved laughter for the first time in moons. She shook her head and tried to calm her bubbling laughs down. She had nearly killed herself running from a dog tied to a tree. Oh, Good Queen that was funny.

Still with the feeling of elation lifting her steps, she padded along, finally looking around her. She took in the tall oaks and the towering pines all smashed together in the beautiful picture. She didn’t feel so comfortable amongst them, but she saw a few Human buildings emerging from the trees.

They offered a true blessing for her. The buildings were small, little measly things compared to the daunting stone towers Aero had grown up around, but they often had free food and water around them. She also needed a shelter so she could get some sleep. She sauntered along following the scent of water.

“Who’s there?”

Those two little words made Aeronwen spin around quickly. She had been so busy following her water trail that she had forgotten to check for other scents. She checked the air now. It was a cat.

She probably could’ve guessed that, but growing up in the city, you also learned to understand the city Foxes. Considering this animal didn’t talk like it was from South Central L.A, though, she knew it was a cat. But she had heard ba-a-ad things about country foxes, though. She needed to make sure that she wasn’t revealing herself to a cat-eater. She shuddered.

She poked her fluffy white head into the space occupied by the other cat.
“No one harmful,” Aero commented, noticing that the water she smelt was next to the other cat. The grey cat.

She felt a sudden rush of fear. Was she still close enough to the White City that the cats would know about her? Would this cat try to kill her like everyone told her that they would? She couldn’t move.

[~All I Need]

Aviator 10

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[glow=aqua,4,000]♥[/glow]
>In the eye of storm you'll see a lonely dove; the experience of survival<
>Is the key to the gravity of love<

" Now, now. . . Let us all stop and think for a moment. Let's not be hasty and jump to conclusions so quickly. "

Aviator stood away from the pandemonium with 5 by her side, her blue gaze directed towards the floor that was tainted by claw marks and dents. She sat back on her haunches while her forepaws fiddled with her tattered scarf mindlessly. The Russian Blue flinched slightly at the feeling of 5's one-eyed gaze trained powerfully on her. Smiling weakly, she ducked her head again and continued to keep her attention away from the argument.

" You fool! She needs to go! I have had enough of her insolence! " 1's exclamation was loud and grating against everyone's ears. No one wanted Aviator to go except 1 and 8, who despised her passive hatred of them.

Again, the she-cat flinched and turned her unmarked back to everyone else, her ears pricked against her own will. Even she, herself, didn't want to go. But if the tables turned to 1's favor, then she would have no other choice but to listen. When it came to situations like these, she had to be subservient. Beside her, 5 was trembling from head to toe; whether it have been rage or fear, she didn't know. Frantic for comfort, the small fae took his paw in hers.

" She did nothing wrong, " 2 scolded lightly in his soft voice. Whenever Aviator heard that voice, she would think of someone kind and gentle. . . Like a father; something she never had. " All she wants to do is stay and help us. Why can't you see that? "

1's narrow eyes scrutinized the other elder tom with a scowl on his thin lips. Tension grew in the room as 8 loomed behind his master with a glare at 2; 6, as usual, muttered incoherently and disappeared into the shadows where he watched with worry in his mismatched eyes; 5 positioned himself in front of Aviator, ignoring her feeble protest; 2 was the only one who seemed completely at ease.

The air crackled, distorting the fae's vision as she glanced around. The tip of her thin tail twitched madly like a deranged snake as she hugged herself (but she wasn't cold.) All she wanted to do was to be comforted. . . Their small community was already splitting at the seams. . . Why expedite the process? A schism was growing in between them, and it was widening ever more.

Attempting to relieve her mind of her worries, Aviator finally saw the inside of the chapel. It wasn't like she had ever bothered to notice anything before, it was just that she now had the energy to see its true beauty. A small fire was burning in a small, old-fashioned furnace in the Eastern corner, its light throwing flickering shadows on the floor and morphing everyone's faces; gravel and shingles (among a variety of things) lay scattered on the edges of the room and in the way of your paws; and the stained glass--! It was something no one could describe. But it was a picture of the heavenly host carved into the glass that gleamed a myriad of colors. The isolated world that they lived in a was an anomaly of its own beauty. Something that was rough and rugged on the surface, but subtle and innocent on the inside. Like a diamond. . . Like, like. . .

Like all of us, she finished silently as her gaze lingered on everyone in the room. As her eyes laid on each one she named them off; 1. . . To protect us. 2. . . To inspire us. 5. . . To guide us. 6. . . To lead us. And 8. . . To guard us. And even though she had never laid eyes on 7 and the twins, she knew to think of them as 3 and 4--to define us and to teach us. 7. . . To defend us.

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Unfinished[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

tag; Spook! ( /huggles )
muse; IT LIVESSSSSSS!!!
notes; you know, now that I think about it. . . I believe I've never been in a thread with you before. This will be fun! ( /glomps )
lyrics; gravity of love by enigma

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