Post by xx s t a r c l a n xx on Sept 6, 2008 22:23:32 GMT -5
These are examples of posts. Please try to eventually work your way up to Brilliant, if you need any help at all PM an Admin or ask on the c box
BAD
Scourge looked around. His claws were unsheathed and ears bacmkward. He moved around the bush and jumped at Firestar.
GOOD
A black pelt moved silently through the bushes, tail swishing. Yellow eyes glinting in the evening light, white claws unsheathed. Scourge slunk through the bushes, peering at Firestar, eyes narrowing to a glare. Parting his jaws he hissed and leaped out of the bushes. Landing next to Firestar he lashed his claws out to score Firestar's shoulder
GREAT
The air was crisp with the new morning air after the long night. The stars from the night, fading into the new morning's sky. Thin ice sickles hung from the branches overhead, dripping as the sun warmed them. The thin layer of snow thick and cold. A small trail of paw prints lead from the camp to a small clearing in tallpines.
In the center of the small clearing sat a smaller cat with a tiger striped coat. His green eyes gazed at the ice sickles as they dripped and formed small patches of ice on the ground. He was alone in the world and longed for at least one friend. His mother was a friend but the only one he had. Green eyes switching towards the camp he waited for anyone to come.
BRILLIANT!
The sun rose slowly over the trees as night became day. Stars fading into the light sky.A white whispy cloud floating lazily by in front of the sun, and the sky sained red. The light chirp of a starling as it woke to the light, echoing softly. The mouse creeping from its home, only to flee back when a water droplet landed in front of it's tiny paws. An adder sunning it's self on the rock in a sunny clearing.
Soft paw steps sounded along the small trail that many seasons of cats had created. The leaves under foot, squishy from the slight morning dew. A long black tail, swishing over a leafy bush picking up the water droplets as it passed. Paw lifting to shake, from it's pad, the one soppy leaf that lay in the trail. A bramble bush, missed by centimeters, left trembling. A starling's wings flapping in the distance, frightened off by the scent of this lonley cat.
As silvery eyes scanned the clearing ahead, claws clinked the stones they passed. The lean torso of a cat, soaked with droplets of water. An ear flicked as a dew drop fell upon its surface. The red mornign sky glowed overhead as the cat entered a clearing, with an Oak in the center. The large branches of this tree, leaves all soaked in the dew. Sun rays passed through the leaves and onto the ground, blinding anyone whom looked upwards while standing in a certain place.
A root rose above the ground ahead, it was dry. Placing his front paws onto the root he clambered on, and twisted around to sit. Wrapping hsi long tail around his paws Ravenstrike gazed at the bushes, then to the sky. Blinking he watched the clouds drift by, as lonley as he felt tehy seemed lonlier drifting by them selves so high up. His silvery gaze was blocked when he closed his eyes, and tiped his head back down. Facing forward he heaved a heavy sigh and silently listened to the forest awake.
BAD
Scourge looked around. His claws were unsheathed and ears bacmkward. He moved around the bush and jumped at Firestar.
GOOD
A black pelt moved silently through the bushes, tail swishing. Yellow eyes glinting in the evening light, white claws unsheathed. Scourge slunk through the bushes, peering at Firestar, eyes narrowing to a glare. Parting his jaws he hissed and leaped out of the bushes. Landing next to Firestar he lashed his claws out to score Firestar's shoulder
GREAT
The air was crisp with the new morning air after the long night. The stars from the night, fading into the new morning's sky. Thin ice sickles hung from the branches overhead, dripping as the sun warmed them. The thin layer of snow thick and cold. A small trail of paw prints lead from the camp to a small clearing in tallpines.
In the center of the small clearing sat a smaller cat with a tiger striped coat. His green eyes gazed at the ice sickles as they dripped and formed small patches of ice on the ground. He was alone in the world and longed for at least one friend. His mother was a friend but the only one he had. Green eyes switching towards the camp he waited for anyone to come.
BRILLIANT!
The sun rose slowly over the trees as night became day. Stars fading into the light sky.A white whispy cloud floating lazily by in front of the sun, and the sky sained red. The light chirp of a starling as it woke to the light, echoing softly. The mouse creeping from its home, only to flee back when a water droplet landed in front of it's tiny paws. An adder sunning it's self on the rock in a sunny clearing.
Soft paw steps sounded along the small trail that many seasons of cats had created. The leaves under foot, squishy from the slight morning dew. A long black tail, swishing over a leafy bush picking up the water droplets as it passed. Paw lifting to shake, from it's pad, the one soppy leaf that lay in the trail. A bramble bush, missed by centimeters, left trembling. A starling's wings flapping in the distance, frightened off by the scent of this lonley cat.
As silvery eyes scanned the clearing ahead, claws clinked the stones they passed. The lean torso of a cat, soaked with droplets of water. An ear flicked as a dew drop fell upon its surface. The red mornign sky glowed overhead as the cat entered a clearing, with an Oak in the center. The large branches of this tree, leaves all soaked in the dew. Sun rays passed through the leaves and onto the ground, blinding anyone whom looked upwards while standing in a certain place.
A root rose above the ground ahead, it was dry. Placing his front paws onto the root he clambered on, and twisted around to sit. Wrapping hsi long tail around his paws Ravenstrike gazed at the bushes, then to the sky. Blinking he watched the clouds drift by, as lonley as he felt tehy seemed lonlier drifting by them selves so high up. His silvery gaze was blocked when he closed his eyes, and tiped his head back down. Facing forward he heaved a heavy sigh and silently listened to the forest awake.
